An ex reached out to me for the first time in like 8 years, wat do?

[ForgedBlades]

I woke up to a text saying that she's been "thinking about me lately". Last I heard she was married with kids.

wat do?

 

[Slimy Time]

Ask tits or gtfo.

 

[Black Light Red Panic]

KILL HER NOW. KILL HER NOW.

 

[Termina]

Tell her you trooned out

 

[Psyduck]

Is she hot?

 

[Shidoen]

Make sure you wear two condoms and lift up her legs before entrance.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

Holy shit, nobody wants to talk to me! Lucky!

 

[seri0us]

say "why haven't i blocked you yet? fixing that"

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Block.

 

[PumpkinSpiceBitchMeringue]

say "why haven't i blocked you yet? fixing that"

Block.

Imagine your first thought not doing these two things.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Say, and I quote.

"Holy shit, you got fat."

 

[ForgedBlades]

Say, and I quote.

"Holy shit, you got fat."

She was fat eight years ago though.

 

[kūhaku]

Pretend you are someone else that got the number, ie "Sorry, who is this?"

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

She was fat eight years ago though.

That will make it even more funny.

 

[SeniorFuckFace]

Run.

 

[Spatula]

ask them if they can do 50 squats

 

[дядя Боря]

She was fat eight years ago though.

well shame on you for dating a whale. Let me guess, she either need money or her husband doesn't fuck her (because she is still a whale) and she is looking to scratch her itches.

... and holy shit, you still have the same number after 8 years?

 

[misterduckford]

Ask this person to meet you in a very public place, bring documentation equipment, and kick them in the groin as viciously as possible. Make SURE this is on film. Thank me later.

 

[Uncle Sid]

Steal her kids' capri suns

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

Press 'X' to Ignore.