Android is pozzed and the default user experience is highly dependent on underlying hardware, but anyone with moderate technical nous and some patience can make all but the shittiest of the shit-tier low end phones into something half-decent.
You just need to do your research before buying a phone i.e. find out how many custom ROMs there are for your preferred phone and then prepare to spend a few hours backing up the factory ROM, flashing the new ROM and sideloading your preferred apps. XDA is your friend here, and any half-decent phone will have spurred at least one slav or pajeet into making a custom ROM for it. (Hint: the more custom ROMs available, the better the phone).
Of course this is much easier if you just go with LineageOS and its matching GApps package, but then there's the risk of re-pozzing the phone if too much Google shit is added back into the OS. It's the quickest option out there assuming your phone is supported, but it'll still take an hour or to get it up and running.
That being said, OP seems like he'd struggle to operate a Nokia 3310 without fucking it up, so I don't think the world of custom ROMs is for him.
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LTT doesn't count, Goy
they're all guilty of this