Any lobster experts here?

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Hardshell has more meat than softshell, but that's about all I know.
 
Hard sgell lobsters get their name since they haven't shed yet this year so they have reached capacity in their shells and are packed very full with meat.

Soft shells have recently traded their old cramped shell for a new one with growing room. That room fills with water, making the yield slightly less per pound.

So the general rule of thumb is to order 1/2 pound higher when you're getting a soft shell, to get about the same amount of meat as a hard shell (1lb hard shell = 1.5lb soft shell)

Some people think that the soft shell lobster tastes better because of the water inside their shell and how it acts to 'marinate', but I just don't really see it, especially if it's all just being boiled anyway.

But with all of that in mind, hard shell lobster is priced higher and soft shell is generally lower enough that it works out to the same price for meat.

And then the obvious fact. Hard shells are hard, and take more work to open.
 
The lobster people near me are uhh... different. They'd probably make me fight 20 lobsters to the death or something because they get off on it. That shit ain't right man.
So you're going to need to learn how to fistfight lobster mobs. Remember to wear thick shoes and tough pants, and try and crush the claws first.

Other than that, don't put them near your face and you should survive.
 
you have to avoid all the lobster people and go to a restaurant, they'll have done all the fighting for you
 
The lobster people near me are uhh... different. They'd probably make me fight 20 lobsters to the death or something because they get off on it. That shit ain't right man.
I would definitely be wary them. Real lobster people would demand you fight 40 lobsters with only one arm. If they're only making you fight 20 and you have access to both your arms then it's obvious those people are either scammers, or at best amateurs themselves.
 
Issue is I can't cook lobster for shit, on the other hand I'm pretty sure these crafty people will scam me for certain.

It's a real dilemma. Not even about the money either, it's about the principle.

You can easily watch a video on how to boil lobster. You're always going to get scammed in a restaurant. Unless it's a really good restaurant, in which case you'll pay through the nose even more.

Seriously, there's little easier than boiling lobster. Mix up your boil, heat it up, drop lobster in. Ta da.

You can do this out in the middle of the woods over a fire, really. There's not much to it.

You may have to conquer a bit of squeamishness at dropping a living creature into boiling water and watching it thrash around in agony until it dies (they sometimes even break their own shells in this process), but the succulent meat you will soon have will be well worth the moment of cruelty.

Also there's just something really satisfying about literally breaking up an entire creature and eating every bit of it that is edible, leaving behind its shattered remains. Plus butter and garlic.

1. Go to Red Lobster
2. Eat the free cheesy biscuits
3. Leave because lobster is overrated

Red Lobster is shit and if you eat there you deserve food poisoning.

Also if you think lobster is overrated odds are good you've only had shit lobster at dumpsters like Red Lobster.

im not a lobsterologist, but i can say this

get some crab seasoning(because lobster seasoning is just salt and pepper, therefore shit) and dump the fucking whole jar of it into the pot. then boil the fuck out of that dead lobster flesh for about 15 minutes.

Specifically, Old Bay seasoning.

Also, lots of beer seriously helps the boil. That's beer for the boil and beer for you.

And then the obvious fact. Hard shells are hard, and take more work to open.

That's a feature, not a bug. It's part of the fun. How often in modern society do you get the opportunity to feel like a real carnivore?

It's sort of like buying shelled pistachios. You pay a lot more to get something you're finished with in a minute.
 
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Buy a whole lobster and make a Lobster Thermidor with it.
Delicious.
 
I still think you're a savage for boiling your lobster in anything other than saltwater. Legit saltwater. Not just salted water.

Isn't that standard, though? I've always loved beach side lobster boils where you fill up half the pot from the bay and the other half from the keg and chuck in a bunch of Old Bay.

Seriously, though, even just boiling them in plain water has delicious results. It's so utterly impossible to fuck up that nobody should have any hesitation about doing it.
 
Isn't that standard, though? I've always loved beach side lobster boils where you fill up half the pot from the bay and the other half from the keg and chuck in a bunch of Old Bay.

Seriously, though, even just boiling them in plain water has delicious results. It's so utterly impossible to fuck up that nobody should have any hesitation about doing it.
Must just be a New Englander thing.
Generally I only use Old Bay when doing crab boils and suchnot, lobster generally just gets saltwater in my family.
 
Must just be a New Englander thing.
Generally I only use Old Bay when doing crab boils and suchnot, lobster generally just gets saltwater in my family.

I've seen it done almost any imaginable way, from just plain water to just salt water (or salted water), to this red liquid thing poured into the water, to Old Bay, and it always seems to turn out fine.
 
I got lobster scammed at a food festival once. They were selling lobster tails for like 14 bucks or something. You see them grilling the tails, they look great. You get a long styrofoam box that is the perfect shape for a lobster tail, you open it up, there are two steamed potatoes and two chunks of lobster meat. The sign says no refunds.

Also got some lobsters from the tank at the store a few times. More than once the lobster was full of eggs, and it was my understanding that they're supposed to throw the females back. Another time, the lobster had pieces of rubber band (from the lobster claws) all inside its stomach, the meat on that one tasted funny.
I always try to pick a female because I like the roe. Always get your lobster whole when dining out. Once went to a Red Lobster and the lobster was served with the thorax missing. I sent it back and asked for the whole lobster, please. I got it.
 
I always try to pick a female because I like the roe. Always get your lobster whole when dining out. Once went to a Red Lobster and the lobster was served with the thorax missing. I sent it back and asked for the whole lobster, please. I got it.

This is why you don't eat at Red Lobster in the first place.
 
You can easily watch a video on how to boil lobster. You're always going to get scammed in a restaurant. Unless it's a really good restaurant, in which case you'll pay through the nose even more.

Seriously, there's little easier than boiling lobster. Mix up your boil, heat it up, drop lobster in. Ta da.

You can do this out in the middle of the woods over a fire, really. There's not much to it.

You may have to conquer a bit of squeamishness at dropping a living creature into boiling water and watching it thrash around in agony until it dies (they sometimes even break their own shells in this process), but the succulent meat you will soon have will be well worth the moment of cruelty.

Also there's just something really satisfying about literally breaking up an entire creature and eating every bit of it that is edible, leaving behind its shattered remains. Plus butter and garlic.



Red Lobster is shit and if you eat there you deserve food poisoning.

Also if you think lobster is overrated odds are good you've only had shit lobster at dumpsters like Red Lobster.



Specifically, Old Bay seasoning.

Also, lots of beer seriously helps the boil. That's beer for the boil and beer for you.



That's a feature, not a bug. It's part of the fun. How often in modern society do you get the opportunity to feel like a real carnivore?

It's sort of like buying shelled pistachios. You pay a lot more to get something you're finished with in a minute.

The more I read your posts the more I become convinced that Chez AnOminous would be fucking fantastic.
 
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