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I'm sorry my Kobolds spent some time trying on all your shoes.
...And your underwear.
And I think Denzel used your toothbrush. HE'S VERY HYGIENIC! I never have to give him those tooth cleaning doggy kobold treats. Always minty fresh.
 
I'm sorry you're being executed, I'm sure making fun of Belgium's minister of health was worth it!
 
I'm sorry you're being executed for your crimes against campers
 
I'm sorry no one has attempted to apologize to you before this.
 
I'm sorry you had to see how far dick the birthday boy's boypussy stretches in front of your family and everything oh geeze sorry sorry
 
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I'm sorry you find it difficult to climax during a night of playing SIM City on the SNES
 
I'm sorry you're a popular birthday hire for trailer trash families.
 
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