Look, let's get down to brass tacks. You ever see a guy suck his own dick? Well, I can't do that. But I can lick the tip. That's what I bring to the table. Is it worth filming? No, no it isn't. But statistically speaking, it's more than anyone in this room can do. Right now you've got a company of people who get nothing but a crick in their neck if they try it; you hire me and you've officially got a guy who can lick it. Sure, you can hold out for a guy who can get his lips around the damn thing, but what are the odds? What are the odds? With me you know exactly what you're getting: tongue on cock contact.
So, yeah, I think I would be an excellent fit for this shitposting position. Sorry.