Asexuality

[Faster Than Chris Robin]

Asexuals are mostly women. Many of them are wearing the label for hipster status. A lot of the real ones were victims of sexual abuse young.

If the question is why they're cropping up now... I mean, we're in a society where healthy reproductive behavior is arguably discouraged. Not too surprising considering that.

 

[NoodleFucker3000]

I think it's good that people who either have no or low sex drives or just dont enjoy sex are finding a movement to be accepted in a relationship. Tbh it's better to have a term ppl can use to easily selfidrntify with, like asexual, than to have young people feel pressured into activities they don't want just to "feel normal" . Ofcourse if it is bothersome there are medical solutions but if all they wanna do is not have sex, great for them.

 

[Marche]

Easy alphabet letter for most, Incels for the rest.

 

[Govt. Shitposting Machine]

I've seen a lot of people who claim to be asexuals (at least on Tunglr dot Gov) turn out to be like 12-16 year olds who just aren't interested in dating because of school or whatever. Doesn't help that it's hip and cool to slap labels that describe your sexuality for the general public to see. Those cases are kind of depressing, like they need to feel like they're fitting in.
There's some cases though where the autism is so powerful they just can't fanthom having any actual attraction to IRL women or sex in general. Usually they have weird fetishes that can't be satisfied to begin with. I think those fit more under incels though, since technically asexuals have no libidos.

 

[inexplicable ethos]

Log off and walk around. So-called asexuals are rather a rarity in the real world. You'll find them. They tend to cluster along with the rest of the oddly sexed and pronouned but your experiences online provide biased sample.

The only self-proclaimed asexual I've ever met in real life was a horrifically morbidly obese man who was constantly drenched in sweat and had a receding hairline that looked about twenty years older than his actual age. He worked (still does, I think) full time in the electronics department at Wal-Mart and still lived with his mom at 25.

I'm pretty sure his "asexuality" was just cope.

 

[Linako 2.0]

They can't get laid so they make up excuses.
it's that simple, really.

 

[The Fifth Waltz]

When I was younger I had the thought I'd be asexual. Turns out I was massively depressed and meds actually helped.

 

[HumanHive]

When I was younger I had the thought I'd be asexual. Turns out I was massively depressed and meds actually helped.

Same. You go through uncertainty sometimes as a teen. Normal part of growing up.
Problem is when you attach a rainbow flag variant and a subculture to it, you remain a confused teenager all your life.

 

[Button Moon]

I didn't believe it existed until I read Morrissey's sex scenes:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/books/authors/morrissey-sex-scene-list-of-the-lost/

No one can fake that level of assexuality.

But yeah: most are autistic teens who are just behind their peers, but by the time they realise that their lives revolve around the identity and can't leave. That or people who are heavily medicated / need medicating.

 

[averagejane]

Almost every "asexual" woman I knew was flicking the bean to yaoi gaybuttsex. A lot of them ended up becoming MLM tranny hags. In that regard, asexual seemed like a shield to not be seen as perverts or fetishists.
Aside from those, I met like two asexual women who were sex abuse victims, but I think it's worthwhile to note that sexual trauma doesn't always lead to sex repulsion. A lot of rape victims actually end up hypersexual as a result.

I did know one guy who was supposedly asexual. He's been in relationships with men and women and supposedly never had sex drive for either. For all the years I knew him I didn't find out about it until we actually were talking about asexuals. He never drew attention to his sexuality and was relatively chill about it. Because of that I have no reason to doubt him.

Anyway, I just feel like asexuality is a non issue unless you're setting boundaries for a relationship. I often see Tumblr harpees cry about how sex is shoved in their face (or used to anyway until Tumblr removed porn lol) but to that I say grow the fuck up. Nothing's shoved in your face. You have a bloated sense of self importance is all.

 

[GreenJacket]

Asexuality, like most paraphiliae, is caused by sexual abuse in childhood.

 

[Jason Wynn]

I used to believe it was a legitimate orientation, but talking with so-called asexual people over the years has swayed me to think otherwise.

If they have no sex drive whatsoever, why do so many of them still admit to masturbating? Kinda defeats the purpose of not having a sex drive. You know that thing some autistic people do where they act like having autism makes them some sort of super genius? I noticed the same thing with "aces" as well, where they act like being asexual makes them more enlightened and above us simple and dull cretins who do have a sex drive. It's a label, one that unattractive or socially re.tarded people use as a shield to hide behind because they're salty they can't get laid and are afraid to admit it or take steps to change the situation. They're honestly kind of a diet-incel

 

[salvuserit]

Sure it probably is, I'd find discussion about the reasoning behind this to be more interesting. Looking at the psycho-sexual stages of development it appears to be an extended remission phase. Could be because of abuse leading to a lack of interest that overpowers biology, or maybe a lack of interest because of societal pressures and a rejection of the hyper-focus on sex that is in modern pop culture?

 

[salvuserit]

I used to believe it was a legitimate orientation, but talking with so-called asexual people over the years has swayed me to think otherwise.

If they have no sex drive whatsoever, why do so many of them still admit to masturbating? Kinda defeats the purpose of not having a sex drive. You know that thing some autistic people do where they act like having autism makes them some sort of super genius? I noticed the same thing with "aces" as well, where they act like being asexual makes them more enlightened and above us simple and dull cretins who do have a sex drive. It's a label, one that unattractive or socially re.tarded people use as a shield to hide behind because they're salty they can't get laid and are afraid to admit it or take steps to change the situation. They're honestly kind of a diet-incel

That's a good point. When I hear "asexual" I think that they are not sexually attracted to any other living thing, I guess masturbation isn't verboden by that.

 

[kūhaku]

That's a good point. When I hear "asexual" I think that they are not sexually attracted to any other living thing, I guess masturbation isn't verboden by that.

Masturbation for an asexual is essentially just like scratching an itch. Its the means to an end of making yourself not horny if you randomly get horny. Some don't feel the need and just don't masturbate at all, others decide to.

 

[no_mad_johnny]

Assexuality is most likely a side effect of something or a personal choice (like celibacy). I wouldn't call either of those two things a sexuality though.

Spoiler: powerlevel

I have zero libido since forever and made the personal choice of being celibate (I'm straight but don't care about/have no need for relationships). The lack of libido is mostly likely caused by OCD and will remain because of my personal routine/beliefs/meds.

Most people with mental health issues who take meds will experience low interest in relationships. Anhedonia is a common symptom of depression which often happens alongside other conditions.

Assexuality is a side effect of mental health issues, essentially. I don't doubt that some people who are used to having low libido would choose to not correct this issue because of how little it affects their life.

If someone wants to call that assexuality then they are free to do so but even someone with low libido can tell if they are interested in women or not, for example. This interest (in either men or women) is what defines sexuality.

I will say though that turning any of this into a subculture is pretty cringe.

 

[The Curmudgeon]

Wouldn't it make more sense to just say they're celibate? Asexual has certain implications that don't apply to human beings. They could also say they're non-sexual and call themselves "nons."

This doesn't bother me the same way trans, nonbinary, and genderfluid shit does, but I just wish people who identify this way used a better word or description.

 

[AmarettoPie]

I wouldn't call it celibacy if only because of the religious connotations of it. Also because that includes forgoing marriage as well (at least by definition). Non-sexual seems to be the best word for it, but I guess that doesn't flow off the tongue as well (and you don't get to call yourself an 'ace').

Spoiler: A bit o' powerlevelin'

I wouldn't say that asexuality/non-sexuality is necessarily a product of mental health issues. I knew long, LONG before I got fucked up that I wasn't into boinking at all, the same way one would know flat-out that they're not into fucking animals. I've had boyfriends that I've broken up with and suitors I've turned down purely because I realized that a 'boyfriend' was no different than a 'best friend' for me (though my definition of 'best friend' is likely a LOT deeper than most). I understood that that was going to be a fundamental issue going forward since that's a major difference for most people, with physical intimacy being VERY important to the relationship. It's not that I was sexually abused or traumatized. It's not that I'm into girls. I've never been religious nor is my family oppressively so. And I've never been on anything beyond OTC aspirin, allergy meds, or antibiotics.

The thought of making a family, having a significant other and children, appealed to me when I was younger. But the actual MAKING the baby part? A complete turn-off that would completely nuke that desire at the slightest thought. Pregnancy doesn't spook me. Childbirth doesn't spook me. It's the act, itself. It disgusts me. Why? Well, 99% of it is because it's unhygienic. Same goes for kissing, oral, and all that jazz. I'm fully aware of how silly that sounds and that that's how I got here, but I want no part of it, myself. I wouldn't call myself a germophobe: I'm usually the only one on staff that has the stomach to thoroughly clean the damn bathrooms, meanwhile my own room's a fucking mess. And I have no problem with other people partaking in it; it's just gross when I'm personally involved. Outside of blood, bodily fluids make me gag.

The other 1% is that I just fucking hate dealing with people at this stage.

TMI, but I will admit that I masturbate (probably no more or less than your average person) and do have turn-ons, namely of ideas/concepts rather than physical traits. Spergy, I know, but that's the only way I can describe it. And when I'm having my 'fun time', only ONE particular way will end in success, if you catch my drift. Anything else results in nothing but boredom. I even thought at one point that I really, REALLY wanted a different sensation and got a vibrator that I can keep all clean and sanitary. Nope; just a waste of time and money.

Now that I think about it, 'non-sexual' might not be the right word for it, either. I'm still very straight: The thought of snuggling with a man appeals to me and I have a preferred type, but with a woman I fluctuate between apathetic and repulsed. ...But that's probably because women are generally bitches and constantly piss me off on top of having next to nothing in common with me.

At the end of the day, a specific label isn't really necessary. I have no desire to fuck; simple as that.

Just a bit of explanation from a resident 'non'.

All that demi- and gray-asexual shit needs to go, though. That constant bullshit contest to be the MOST SPECIAL-EST EVAR is why I left AVEN behind.

 

[Vlinny-kun]

I have no reason to believe that people (women) who call themselves """asexchuall""" are ether legitimately autistic or born some other mental defect, 13-20 something year olds that grew up with everything handed to them on a silver platter and thought that being "queer" or "pansexual" was too mainstream for them so they needed a special-er label to describe themselves which conveniently also came with 0 legwork involved, or lastly the victims of child molestation/rape. I say the percentage of all asexuals, in order, goes something like 15% 82% 3%. The term "asexual" is also a bullshit madeup lable to describe someone with a lack of libido. Unless you're a red blood cell, there is no meaning behind calling yourself asexual. It straight up does not exist and you might as well be calling yourself a wet carpet to describe your afinity for spicy foods.

"Hooray! I'm retarded!"

 

[Unyielding Stupidity]

I guarantee you that most asexuals are just heterosexuals or homosexuals that can't get laid either because of physical attractiveness or social awkwardness, but don't want to admit so - because that would make them a "virgin incel", and they don't want to be the boogeyman of the current year. So they instead claim to be asexual so they both lose the incel label, and get asspats from the LGBT community. I bet you if most asexuals had some 10/10 guy or girl waltz up to them and offer them free unconditional sex, they'd say yes in a heartbeat.