💬 Off-Topic Ask Dusty Anything - It's been a long time coming...

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play video games, he brought some Naruto fighting game and Katamari Damacy. He got cuddlier and cuddlier, and then there was a hand in my pants, and at the touch of my "five dollar footlong" he either got so excited or so intimidated he lost bowel control, then started crying and begging me to not hate him. I forgave him for his complete lack of interest in my consent, which only led to him violating my boundaries more and more drastically as time went on, leading me to avoid the hell out of him for the sake of my sanity
So Phil raped a man while playing video games, sounds mighty gamergate of him.
 
Do you ever regret it?
While I realize this may be interpreted as a bit harsh, there's a school of thought that states that being bullied during some of the developmental years is actually a beneficial thing, enforcing ideas of proper social behavior and strengthening you as a person. Do you ever wonder how things might have gone if he'd been left to his situation?

As someone who was bullied extensively himself, is very much a social aberrant to this day, and has never lost a fight in his life... bullying is a terrible, horrible thing. It is, at best, a Darwinian throwback, and promotes the theory that the strongest person gets to make the rules. Call me a product of 80's youth media, but I'm of the opinion that that sort of power should only be used to stop people who would abuse it when they have it.

How 'intelligent' would you consider Phil to be? How much of his bouncing and squeaking as we call it do you believe stems from willful ignorance as opposed to plain stupidity? He comes across as completely retarded at times, but having worked with autistic people in the past, I'm partly convinced that this is a case of furious doubling-down in the face of reality instead of a genuine lack of intellectual capacity.

There are many forms of intelligence, for example a noted brain surgeon might simultaneously believe the pyramids are ancient alien grain silos. He has demonstrated that he can absorb concepts, even very complex concepts, as long as they do not conflict with his extant worldview. When there's a conflict, it gets sorted by a hierarchical algorithm. My understanding is that Ravenor has put much more effort into this topic than I have, but my working model for the hierarchy goes something like: "Does this validate my self image?" > "Does this make me feel good?" > "Does this please the people I call my friends?" > "Does this piss off the people I don't like?" > "Does this synergize with what I currently value?" > [anything else].


Does spanking equal corrective rape in your eyes ?
But to lighten thing up
What faction do you play in warmachine ?

Everything I know about Phil's father has either come from @Weeping With Pity (via here) and as such is speculation, or from Joyce, and as such is currently confidential. My own views on spanking are not relative to Phil's situation, or the conversation at hand.

My first allegiance is to Orboros, with the eminently reasonable Baldur as my go-to 'lock. Not terribly competitive, but I like his fluff and his style. I back him up with Blindwater, and am a bit sad Mk3 will be seeing the end of the flying gator circus. I dabble in other factions, and between my roommates and me the only groups not represented are Skorne, Retribution, and Mercs
 
As someone who was bullied extensively himself, is very much a social aberrant to this day, and has never lost a fight in his life... bullying is a terrible, horrible thing. It is, at best, a Darwinian throwback, and promotes the theory that the strongest person gets to make the rules. Call me a product of 80's youth media, but I'm of the opinion that that sort of power should only be used to stop people who would abuse it when they have it.
I was suspended multiple times in high school for beating the shit out of people who attempted to bully me. Since I was also an A student and managed to graduate with a GPA of 3.7, I never did get expelled. It also helped that I do martial arts and other sports too. I believe the best way to deal with bullies is to fight and beat them, then they won't start anything with you again. Bullying is certainly a horrible thing, but the only way to beat it is by doing it yourself.
 
As someone who was bullied extensively himself, is very much a social aberrant to this day, and has never lost a fight in his life... bullying is a terrible, horrible thing. It is, at best, a Darwinian throwback, and promotes the theory that the strongest person gets to make the rules. Call me a product of 80's youth media, but I'm of the opinion that that sort of power should only be used to stop people who would abuse it when they have it.
A fair point. We may simply have to disagree on this.
Let's cut into the core of the issue, shall we?
Do you feel that, at this point in time, there is any hope for Phil improving and leading a normal life? Do you think he can ever snap out of this, or is a life in the gutter raging at internet trolls just his lot in life?
 
I was suspended multiple times in high school for beating the shit out of people who attempted to bully me. Since I was also an A student and managed to graduate with a GPA of 3.7, I never did get expelled. It also helped that I do martial arts and other sports too. I believe the best way to deal with bullies is to fight and beat them, then they won't start anything with you again. Bullying is certainly a horrible thing, but the only way to beat it is by doing it yourself.

Don't get me wrong, I've beaten a man unconscious with my bare hands while bleeding from a gunshot wound, and on a different occasion sliced open another like a salmon while staring him in the eyes, but in both cases, it was a self defense last resort after I'd tried everything else in my power to get out of the situation without violence. (And people think Phil's the most traumatic thing to ever happen to me...)

A fair point. We may simply have to disagree on this.
Let's cut into the core of the issue, shall we?
Do you feel that, at this point in time, there is any hope for Phil improving and leading a normal life? Do you think he can ever snap out of this, or is a life in the gutter raging at internet trolls just his lot in life?

I think Phil/Isabel needs to let go of a lot of anger, fear, and pain, and stop projecting issues onto other people. I think a lot of apologies need to be made, without expectation of forgiveness. And then there needs to be a lot of work on top of that. I think it's within the realm of possibility for a happy ending, but I'm not sure how likely it is. I'd like to see Phil / Isabel stop hurting, but first would need to come the realization that a lot of that pain is self-inflicted, and I just don't know if that will ever happen.

Who's your waifu?

After my most recent, rather abusive, relationship (god, has it been almost 4 years?), I'm focusing on myself and haven't even really been fantasizing. I've only just begun thinking about dating again in the last month or so.
 
Not really a question, but I'm sorry for initiating the 5 dollar footlong thing ( I was the one having a chat with ADF way back in the day under an alias to understand him ).

Good luck trying to redeem Phil.
 
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Did Phil at all claim to be tran.s in the time you knew him?
 
no question. it's just great to have you here. thanks for joining the forums <3 glad you could figure out the captcha
 
I think a lot of apologies need to be made, without expectation of forgiveness.

Do you really think that's something Phil is capable of? It's something even fairly well adjusted people with control of their heads have a hard time with, especially when apologizing will severely wound their pride. I suppose if Phil got therapy and really applied themselves they could reach the point at which they wanted to apologize to save face and at least mean it in that sense, but I can't see them accepting no forgiveness, getting peace and closure from no forgiveness. Since you know them better, do you think there's that spark of understanding somewhere in them still?
Their current begging to speak with you does suggest they at least seek approval. Dunno if they'd apologize to get it, let alone mean it. Unfortunately I'd expect a lot more arguing from Phil than anything else.
 
Did Phil ever show any indication that he was hispanic back then? Or Jewish?

I don't recall any Semitic affiliation, but he announced his hispanicness midway through the 2007-8 academic year and began wearing cultural garb to reflect this.


Do you really think that's something Phil is capable of?

I am not optimistic, I am merely analyzing the situation. Whether this ever can or will happen is not up to me, it's up to Phil/Isabel.

Didn't/don't you ever feel like just cutting your losses with Phil and having nothing to do with him ever again? I'm curious as to how you have the patience to put up with his endless self-inflicted drama.

This is the first contact we've had since 2008. I have actively avoided him for about 8 years, only to be dragged back by my "friend" (status under reevaluation given recent developments) @Weeping With Pity
 
Phil recently posted that he wants to get into a civil conversation with you. Will you do it? What do you think he wants from this conversation?


As someone who knows past Phil, was he a constant liar back then too? Or is that a trait he's recently picked up?
 
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