Assemble an ideal RPG team using Kiwifarms Users

[Travis Touchdown (REAL)]

@Core Theorist because I feel like having a big mech in my party would trivialize most encounters.
@Medic as the healer (duh)
@Cheesy Beavy as the cute animal sidekick that is also the mascot for the series.
@Storytime as the tank because he was good at attention whoring and making an ass of himself, making him a natural pick for drawing aggro.

 

[NaggotFigger]

Guess me in the RPG scenario folks. Because I'm a faggot.

Here's my assembly:

FRONTLINE

@Judge Holden - The frontline debuffer/tank. Has an super effective charm that could bind any enemies that is Patrick with the beefiest HP and DEF stats. Don't tell him about Fat Rick, it's a cursed magic word!
@Relinquish - The hybrid DPS. Has both the ability to heal and damage at the same time. One of his skill is slightly RNG-based, but you still get higher guarantee rates than felling off!
@Osama Bin Laden - All-rounder. Balanced stats all-around, the Jack-of-all-trades! It'll never be wrong when you use him at all.
@notorietus - The stealth DPS/semi-buffer. Has evasion skills and high mobility stats. Watch out for the boobie traps!

BACKLINE

@Toji Suzuhara - The ATK/Crit buffer. Can deal some damage, but his buff stats are good, and he's a go-to slot to make things more easier!
@Trombonista - Pure healer. Nothing else to say.
@Thé au lait - Healer/Debuffer. Can heal and inflict Necrosis and further extra damage taken in a lot of universally common traits! (similar to Lidl, albeit Lidl is highly focused on Anti-Men and has higher DoT ceiling and two-to-three extra DoT debuffs towards the Anti-Men niche. She also has low HPS, but increased significantly if there are female allies in the frontline!)

 

[AnOminous]

@Judge Holden - The frontline debuffer/tank. Has an super effective charm that could bind any enemies that is Patrick with the beefiest HP and DEF stats. Don't tell him about Fat Rick, it's a cursed magic word!

Don't forget that he can bugger the brains out of even the fattest and bitch-tittiest faggots alive. Plus he can never die.

 

[Relinquish]

@Forsaken Wanderer - Mage, uses his spell “Blackpill” to make enemy depressed and so brings down his defense

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

@Dizzyuntildeath - Damage - Good at striking critical hits.

I mean, its your teamwipe.

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

@Miss Tommie Jayne Wasserberg - He can throw his poop buckets at enemies for a chance to blind and it lowers the enemies constitution. (Fighter)
@mitsuba-chan - I mean, come on, look at those Tiger claws. Those plus her BPD energy is bound to take any enemy down (Rogue?)
@Emily Cassidy - If she shows you one of her drawings, it does instant damage and she will bore you and confuse you to death. Can also copy enemy items. (Artificer )
@PositiveMonk - Will keep the team in a positive mood and is a monk (Monk)
@Trombonista - Our dedicated healer and can deflect hits with her spinning trick. She also worships the Null God and through him her power flows (Cleric)
@Travis Touchdown (REAL) - I can't not include #1 in my team. (Fighter)
@secret watcher - Best rogue on the site and virtually undetectable (Rogue)
@Forsaken Wanderer - Good with words and talking (Bard)

And obviously @Null is the dungeon master.

 

[Arrival]

@Alex Hogendorp would be all you need because all enemies would immediately run away.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Null, the cheat character with all the abilities, HHH the tank thanks to his impenetrable skull, and Android Raptor as an assassin with double damage against child opponents.

 

[Gregis]

@Lidl Drip
@Thé au lait
@Trombonista
@WelperHelper99
@Android raptor

I dunno what class they all are, whatever lets them all equip chain mail bikinis. I'm thinking like an action RPG, my apm is gonna be shit tho cause I'm playing with one hand.

 

[Optavia Sales Rep]

@TankMelee for... melee tank
@God's Holiest Schizo as my zealot priest
@Wyzzerd for all your magical needs
@Stab You in the Back as thief/assassin
@WarlockSammich sub in for Wyzzerd when he needs to do wizard things

 

[Core Theorist]

Hmmm.... I'm gonna get very autistic and actually analyze this.

Spoiler: RPG autism analyzing the homies

@Travis Touchdown (REAL) is the generalist. He takes after another video game protag who has experience in close combat and mecha piloting and general weebishness, so he has good stat spread all around but he has particularly excellent basic attack skills. You never waste a party slot by taking TT(R). He's also a great flirt, so plenty of enemies can be seduced using his Flirt skill.

Oh, he mentioned that I, Core Theorist, would trivialize most of the game and that would be true... but obviously mecha are expensive, and you can only hire him as a temporary party member. He's contracted on a per-battle basis just like a real Armored Core mercenary so you have to go through the entire contracting process again after every fight where he's used. He gets paid by the bullet, skill, and the target too. But, hey, he won't take a standard party slot because he's hired backup. Save his contract item for boss battles and wait 2-3 turns for his mecha to get there and it'll usually work out. Just be prepared to watch his 'super-epic' move/attack/skill cutscenes for every single turn...

But, back to my picks... hmm...

@CallmeCicada is the party bard, he can buff fellow Weeb class characters by using Post WataMelon. it's an extremely cheap party-focused skill that's very efficient for sharing his MP pool and expanding the rest of the team's. As long as you slot him in a Weeb focused party, you're never gonna run out of MP. Despite being a pure Weeb class character, he can slot in most team builds if you have the right items and so on.

@Daddy's Angry Juice is another great variation of the theme. Post Cinnamoroll is basically a Post Watamelon that doesn't have any native Type restrictions: EVERYBODY loves Cinnamoroll! Keep alcohol in your inventory, and he's a great alternative!

@Nameless One is another really good Weeb class character. He's actually another Weeb/Mech hybrid type like Core Theorist so they synergize really well, he gets all sorts of buff skills both of them can use. He also has qualities of the Barbarian and has a unique Self-Resurrections skill you won't find anywhere else, as long as you have somebody else to sacrifice instead he can re-spawn mid battle. Very good staying power! If you need him in your party it's gonna be easy to keep him in the fight until he's the last man standing.

Besides that, @LimeRikki is my S+ Tier Epic Bard/Mage hybrid, I know that much. She recites poetry for each skill and she has a unique one for basically everything that happens in the game: every target, every unique encounter, every area in the game... Bring her along and collect them all! Regardless, Haiku Shitpost is my personal favorite.

 

[Disastrously Dumb]

@BONECRUSHER the stereotype Orc Warrior/Berserker name
Your enemies will die of cringe.

 

[Crocodylus Acutus]

@ibeatmywife is a professional wife beater. Useful guy to have if we run into any wife enemies.

@Lizard Pope as a cleric. I will also be a cleric. This team will be Holy Reptile Maxxxing

@Benzo Samurai will be the Norscan Berserker, because he is a chaotic Scandi

@Thé au lait as the team hexer. She can cast curses on enemies using her cryptic Korean moon runes

@Mortan Shekelstorm will be the Dwarf Paladin. He diggy diggys holes with righteous fervor.

@Sicko Hunter because we need a ranger/hunter of sickos to balance things out.

 

[BinaricHate]

@mitsuba-chan - I mean, come on, look at those Tiger claws. Those plus her BPD energy is bound to take any enemy down (Rogue?)

I would also like to add @Claudio Hernandez Castaneda. His ability is that whenever a furry in a feline based fursuit tries to attack the party. The cat like furry will disappear and will be found raped to death somewhere in the general vicinity of the cohort.

 

[Meat Target]

@Lidl Drip
@Thé au lait
@Trombonista
@WelperHelper99
@Android raptor

I dunno what class they all are, whatever lets them all equip chain mail bikinis. I'm thinking like an action RPG, my apm is gonna be shit tho cause I'm playing with one hand.

@Lidl Drip as the AoE crowd control witch.
@WelperHelper99 as a tank because HE'S FAT! and can weld a suit of armor together.
@Useful_Mistake as pyromancer.
@Humble Architect as a fast DPS swordsman (he plays Emperor's Children in 40k).
Agree on @Trombonista as Healer.

 

[ye's Official KF Burner]

Surprised nobody picked @Fatpacks for anything. I would.

 

[Mortan Shekelstorm]

@Sicko Hunter: Clear choice, marksmen, tracker and hunter. Jolly fellow to boot
@Benzo Samurai: Samurai and possible healer with his benzo stash
@Crocodylus Acutus: Swell fella and could chomp and death roll any foe too close for Sicko to blast, could intimidate foes with war cry and croc skin
@candlejack : The moral support and brains of the party, likely going to mediate the parties next moves and ensure any battle plans are within reason.

 

[Nameless One]

@Core Theorist
You would carry rounds with me, last two standing easily assuming the enemy won't take advantage of my resurrective power cooldowns. It's a game of holdout and I'm a master at that.

Very good staying power! If you need him in your party it's gonna be easy to keep him in the fight until he's the last man standing.

@CallmeCicada can infiltrate enemy territory by going underground for entire battles to "hibernate" and pop out or fly around to blast away many enemies until he's spotted again. A real wild card.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

@Core Theorist
You would carry rounds with me, last two standing easily assuming the enemy won't take advantage of my resurrective power cooldowns. It's a game of holdout and I'm a master at that.


@CallmeCicada can infiltrate enemy territory by going underground for entire battles to "hibernate" and pop out or fly around to blast away many enemies until he's spotted again. A real wild card.

Hibernation also giving a 50% chance to heal the party

 

[Nameless One]

The only downside to @CallmeCicada is that he is a glass cannon build. Otherwise he'd be OP. And with RPGs there has to be a fun balance of OP by the end but not too OP.