Aug 11 2022 - Case updated with "Waive right to indictment" and "transportation order" - Review scheduled for next year

[Male Idiot]

He was a good man and knew much, and seems to have had a kind hart - surely too kind to end as a bugbitten corpse with such next-of-kin - but the social setting was too conservative/Christian and the infrastructure too underdeveloped. That set a hard cap on what Bob could achieve with the means at his disposal.
OTOH: Imagine Bob being the same old Bob, except not a jazz and science nut but a gun and coonhunting nut. It's far more common out there than being a retired pro engineer of good and long-standing repute and above-average natural intelligence. Chance spared us *this* particular card being dealt, and it's probably for the better.

Hey now, that would have been one hell of a ride.

But yeah, Bob gets a pass because he at least tried. In an elderly man's incomprehending way.

They deserve it for being ramma-ramma.

He would fit right in if we dipped him in brown paint.


As to Chris, I think the sexual bottom feeder comment is spot on.
I find it unlikely he'll just jump on random women like an inner city yoof and get some muh dik.
If he was put in a room full of drugged supermodels, Chris would nut in a few than take a nap.
But that is what like 50% of all men would do. Africa and South America and Middle East and Pakistan and India do in fact exists.

It is just unlikely. He will be creepy, but he is unlikely to get that opportunity. He isn't as much a treat to society than the aforementioned gangsta.

As long as he is not left alone with a totally defenseless woman, it is doubtful he will reoffend.
Its the same for most tards so a group home would work as they work with tards and propably know this.

He would also propably need some encouragement. He propably mumbled -Love Quest....mhh.. I am so lonely... Nhhhh! Dirty damn trolls... why bobody wants to be my Sweetheart from thw Ground Up! Ugh!-
A dazed Barb half understood the mumble, and went -Oh I love ya Chrissun!-
The rest if Christory.

So a girl would have to be nice to Chris and than get high as hell while alone with him, and yeah he would do the nasty, mistaking pity for a free Bent Duck pass.

But I find it doubtful he would go full Bundychu with a pickle train that has no breaks. Like your average inner city dindu.

 

[thegooddoctor]

That's what I've been saying. I don't know why people are convinced that this is the final saga or some bullshit. If anything, this is the start of a whole new chapter of Christory. Now that he's fully rejected by mainstream society, if he ever goes online again he has no choice but to go full tooter and spend his days arguing with weens and a-logs as they are the only people that will bother to talk to him. In fact, a homeless/prison saga would actually mean less milk in the future and be quite boring in comparison.

Exactly, we’ll always have stuff to discuss with Chris, even in the dullest periods of Chris’s history we’ll find something to sperg about, nothing is too minute about Chris to sperg about.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

I think I’ve said this before but I am 100% positive I could train Chris as a dishwasher if I was allowed to hit him, maybe a shock collar.

The hardest part about getting Chris to work is IMO that he doesn’t associate work with an immediate financial reward, he has to put two whole weeks of it in before he gets a paycheck and AFAIK he’s never made it through two whole weeks of work. I would simply pay him cash under the table and pay him out at the end of each shift so he’d associate hard work with receiving money for vidya and LEGO. Plus he could keep the tugboat.

Ideally I’d put him in on the service staff over the kitchen so he’d just get a tipout at the end of each shift but I could never subject paying customers to him, as a dishwasher he’d have his little station tucked away in a corner somewhere and a nice, consistent routine. He could put his phone in a squarehead and watch MLP or whatever.

Have a machine that counts clean dishes he inserts and have it spit out an appropriate amount of money for every x number of dishes he puts in. Make sure it's extra jingly. You can have a coinstar in the kitchen that he can throw the coins in at the end of his shift so he can collect his money in a more manageable form-- in fact, that can be what dispenses the coins in the first place.

That's Chris, he won't do work unless he's immediately rewarded for it, but if you pay him up front then he already has his reward and won't work.

 

[thegooddoctor]

I don't dislike Bob but half the posts I see about him seem to worship him. While he was certainly a better parent than Barb that's like saying I could beat Stephen Hawking in a footrace.
Bob encouraged and guided Chris's strange delusions that Megan and Michael Snyder were the troll ringmasters, and that the Game Place was conspiring against Chris to ruin his life. He refused any kind of special education for Chris which led to him essentially spending his whole childhood window shopping for a normal life that he was incapable of instead of having a more realistic outlook with coping skills that could help him. He got Chris on disability and just gave up to let him rot in the hoard. Reasons unknown, but he also was estranged from most of his family which typically doesn't happen to superdad.

I don't think Bob was a bad man by any means. He did what he thought was best and what he thought was right, it just turned out a lot of those choices were massive misfires. By the time he probably realized Chris needed some kicking in butt, Bob was infirm and living in a hoard that contributed to his death. An interesting character but far from the all-knowing intelligent, kind, and wise sage that people sometimes describe him as. In the end I think he gave up and I don't blame him.

 

[A-№1]

You have to be a friggin’ spy about it. Carefully throwing out code phrases to see if they’re in the know.

I don't think I've ever met another person who knows about Chris IRL Every time I've accidentally used CWC-isms, people have looked at me like I'm insane. Then again, I don't exactly move in Chris-aware circles. Perhaps if I attended a cartoon pony convention… nah. Not worth it.

That said, freemasons can identify each other by things like cufflinks. Maybe Null should offer something like Sonichu cufflinks in addition to the coins etc.

I think a major difference is Bob is seen as a well-intentioned fuckup while Barb is seen as actually evil. They both contributed to fucking him up, though, although Bob enhanced his lolcowdom by encouraging his conspiracy theories while Barb basically taught him to be a rapist and end up behind bars.

There's an easy way to understand the attitude here towards Bob: imagine for a moment how much worse Chris would be had Barb been a single mother.

I think I’ve said this before but I am 100% positive I could train Chris as a dishwasher if I was allowed to hit him, maybe a shock collar.

But could you keep him washing dishes one you've left? It would be more efficient (and cheaper) to just hire someone else to wash dishes than to hire Chris to was dishes and hire a second person necessary to make sure Chris actually does it.

Remember, when given the choice between the minimal effort task of letting his dogs out, or being a lazy fuck and keeping them in, Chris preferred to live in a house with dog crap all over the floor.

pay him out at the end of each shift

Chris has zero concept of delayed gratification. The end of a shift is not immediate enough. You would have to pay him on an immediate per dish basis. Also he would eventually come to believe the "washing dishes" part is unnecessary to the whole "getting paid" process. I mean the government gives him free money for not doing work, so why shouldn't you?

I'm not 100% sure of that but I'm 100% sure I would enjoy hitting him.

Now that might actually make employing Chris economical. Instead of paying someone to watch over Chris, give that job to someone who really, REALLY wants to punish Chris. Hell, you might even be able to charge for it.

Chris would be the best dunk tank target ever.

 

[Hepativore]

Chris would be the best dunk tank target ever.

Or that guy you throw rotten tomatoes at to hit in the face at the Renaissance Fair.

 

[oramge cat]

Have a machine that counts clean dishes he inserts and have it spit out an appropriate amount of money for every x number of dishes he puts in. Make sure it's extra jingly. You can have a coinstar in the kitchen that he can throw the coins in at the end of his shift so he can collect his money in a more manageable form-- in fact, that can be what dispenses the coins in the first place.

That's Chris, he won't do work unless he's immediately rewarded for it, but if you pay him up front then he already has his reward and won't work.

Chris could hold down a job if the job was designed around him in a way that would require mating a Coinstar machine with a commercial dishwasher and IDK if that would be considered "reasonable accomodation" of a disability by any state. Fucking exceptional in every sense of the word. There might never be a perfect storm of retardation that comes close to him until the day I die. He's a once in a lifetime phenomenon and I count myself lucky that I get to watch.

 

[A-№1]

Chris could hold down a job if the job was designed around him in a way that would require mating a Coinstar machine with a commercial dishwasher

Hepativore's rotten tomato guy would be more profitable, especially if you're in the business of selling tomatoes. It would also be better job experience than anything currently on Chris' résumé.

 

[thegooddoctor]

Or that guy you throw rotten tomatoes at to hit in the face at the Renaissance Fair.

At least they don’t have to smell him from that far away.

 

[A-№1]

At least they don’t have to smell him from that far away.

Tomato juice is traditional for getting rid of the smell after being sprayed by a skunk.

It's worth a try with Chris.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

Since I can't quote @A-№1 , apparently, Hunter Moore was banned from social media after he was convicted. It would be interesting the magichan account making a comeback.

Two years after Hunter Moore was sentenced, SCOTUS ruled that using social media is a first amendment right. While it didn't directly address the issue of supervised release limitations (which Moore was on), that supervised release period was completed in 2021.

Thus Moore can no longer be banned for life from social media, and he now has a Twitter account (Facebook has banned him on its own initiative, though strangely Meta's other service Instagram has not).

Chris could hold down a job if the job was designed around him in a way that would require mating a Coinstar machine with a commercial dishwasher and IDK if that would be considered "reasonable accomodation" of a disability by any state. Fucking exceptional in every sense of the word. There might never be a perfect storm of retardation that comes close to him until the day I die. He's a once in a lifetime phenomenon and I count myself lucky that I get to watch.

Automated recycling machines are extremely popular with the mentally ill. Collecting discarded cans and bottles is *not* easy or pleasant work, but the payoff is immediate.

The further from the machine, the more you have to delay gratification, and thus the cans are less quickly collected as you move further away, but homeless people who are able to delay gratification longer and plan their routes are able to get a better payout because they have less competition for the farther-afield recyclables, and fill large shopping carts.

 

[Joe Cool]

Two years after Hunter Moore was sentenced, SCOTUS ruled that using social media is a first amendment right.

How would this apply in a group home setting? I'm pretty sure someone further up the thread said that social media is typically banned and that internet access in general is heavily restricted.

 

[I swear she's 18]

How would this apply in a group home setting? I'm pretty sure someone further up the thread said that social media is typically banned and that internet access in general is heavily restricted.

If you're at someone's home and you ask to use their pc. It's up to them. It's also up to them to decide what you can and can't do and if you piss them off. Then they can force you off. Now replace someone's with group and there you go.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

How would this apply in a group home setting? I'm pretty sure someone further up the thread said that social media is typically banned and that internet access in general is heavily restricted.

If you're at someone's home and you ask to use their pc. It's up to them. It's also up to them to decide what you can and can't do and if you piss them off. Then they can force you off. Now replace someone's with group and there you go.

Correct, it is "house rules". It's not very fair, but it's a "take it or leave" kind of thing. There is an interpretation that government-run homes are not allowed to do this, given the SCOTUS ruling, but that's still being debated.

Chris can also be prohibited from using the internet as terms of probation. SCOTUS has not ruled on this, so that is still up in the air. State courts have generally ruled in favor of internet restrictions on those on probation.

There is currently a case in Virginia concerning a man who was placed on indefinite/lifetime probation (an option in Virginia only for certain crimes, the normal cap is five years, incest is subject to the five year cap), and was prohibited from using the internet in private. Virginia courts have up until now upheld this.

Eventually this may be decided by SCOTUS, but for now in Virginia Chris can be prohibited from internet usage while he is on probation. This, however, would be unusual as his crime did not involve the internet, and he did not use the internet to communicate with Barb.

 

[oramge cat]

Automated recycling machines are extremely popular with the mentally ill. Collecting discarded cans and bottles is *not* easy or pleasant work, but the payoff is immediate.

The further from the machine, the more you have to delay gratification, and thus the cans are less quickly collected as you move further away, but homeless people who are able to delay gratification longer and plan their routes are able to get a better payout because they have less competition for the farther-afield recyclables, and fill large shopping carts.

No way those machines are close enough to a store that sells toys that Chris would be motivated enough to go that route. Christ, imagining him as one of the nearly homeless bag people that go the can scav route that live around me is... funny but pretty sad. But also pretty funny, a Chris spergout in front of a dollar tree over $7 of plastic bottles that was witnessed and recounted entirely by someone who had no idea who he was in the same vein as the crazy pacer story would be great.

 

[oramge cat]

But could you keep him washing dishes one you've left? It would be more efficient (and cheaper) to just hire someone else to wash dishes than to hire Chris to was dishes and hire a second person necessary to make sure Chris actually does it.

Remember, when given the choice between the minimal effort task of letting his dogs out, or being a lazy fuck and keeping them in, Chris preferred to live in a house with dog crap all over the floor.

I think it would only be an issue if I took an extended vacation but I have coworkers who can hit Chris just as hard as I can. But it would of course be cheaper to not hire Chris. But if he was my boss's retarded nephew I could do it if he was willing to manage his expectations.

 

[Pointless Sperg]

No way those machines are close enough to a store that sells toys that Chris would be motivated enough to go that route. Christ, imagining him as one of the nearly homeless bag people that go the can scav route that live around me is... funny but pretty sad. But also pretty funny, a Chris spergout in front of a dollar tree over $7 of plastic bottles that was witnessed and recounted entirely by someone who had no idea who he was in the same vein as the crazy pacer story would be great.

My point was that people who are otherwise unemployable by their inability to delay gratification are still capable of performing labor if they're paid immediately as they perform the work.

It's not that they are incapable of working, it's just for them anything without immediate payment feels to them like they're working for no pay/slaves.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

I fixed your comment. Before he was arrested, Chris spent 2021 drinking until he passed out.

He misinterpreted that alcohol is evil and not a privilege that only a responsible adult can handle.

I was a bit shocked seeing him drunk more often, I often wish he never discovered Alcohol because he's done some amazingly stupid things while drunk the Schnider photo incident, the Taint wound, Driving etc I was counting down the days till he started developing a serious reliance on it like quite a few Speds and Mentally handicapped people seem to do.

My point was actually that it's not a bad thing to know laws, period. Intentionally not having knowledge because you're afraid of how people will judge you for knowing something is a perverse way of thinking.

This goes for any form of knowledge, not just law.

^This no knowledge is forbidden just taboo.

You have to be a friggin’ spy about it. Carefully throwing out code phrases to see if they’re in the know.

“Sonichu runs twice during the Stone Age.”

“…. What?”

“Oh nevermind.”

Because lord knows I’m not regaling anyone with the full saga of Christian Weston Chandler from start to finish. Well, sorta-finish.

To adapt a phrase from Reddit - "The Fatass shit's it's self at midnight" the problem is it could lead us down the road of that old Gestapo trick hunting escaped POW's where some one say's a innocuious phrase that has meaning and you end up outing yourself.

I think I’ve said this before but I am 100% positive I could train Chris as a dishwasher if I was allowed to hit him, maybe a shock collar.

The hardest part about getting Chris to work is IMO that he doesn’t associate work with an immediate financial reward, he has to put two whole weeks of it in before he gets a paycheck and AFAIK he’s never made it through two whole weeks of work. I would simply pay him cash under the table and pay him out at the end of each shift so he’d associate hard work with receiving money for vidya and LEGO. Plus he could keep the tugboat.

Ideally I’d put him in on the service staff over the kitchen so he’d just get a tipout at the end of each shift but I could never subject paying customers to him, as a dishwasher he’d have his little station tucked away in a corner somewhere and a nice, consistent routine. He could put his phone in a squarehead and watch MLP or whatever.

There was a scheme trialled with Tards and other people who have problems budgeting their money called "Work Today, Paid Today" where you got a little counter with a clock in card for a job where you where paid minimum wage with a little timer and counter on a display screen where you did a job and it counted up how much you where getting paid and when you clocked out it would play a little cartoony till checking out sound and flash your daily earning on screen and it was paid out to you right away so by the time you had walked out to the cash machine etc it would be available to you.

And for some it really worked they learned that they had spent some time put in some effort got more than the dole and could see the pay go up in real time and they even learned to budget an spend better, this worked for a lot of people but there was problems.

1) Once they left the program and got paid monthly or weekly they lost the association with reward for the day right away, and lost there work ethic.

2) Some would quickly try and game the system i.e. disappearing for hours or goofing off all the time not just in a bit of downtime.

3) This encouraged Drug use and Alcohol use to spike in some groups because they had more money available on a daily basis.

4) The trail was far more costly than expected, partly due to the agency they placed the people in jobs with was a massive regular government subcontractor who bilked the tax payer for everything.

I think something like that would work for Chris but like the program found if that enforcement goes away he will quickly backslide, it's about giving him the stick as much as the carrort so he'd have to be fairly but firmly punished when he eventually tries to game the system.

I'm not 100% sure of that but I'm 100% sure I would enjoy hitting him.

Don't be so crass...

... a gentleman never uses his fists when a Whip or Cane is handy even the most work shy plebian will resume his divinely appointed drudgery when he feels the lash of a Cane.

That said, freemasons can identify each other by things like cufflinks. Maybe Null should offer something like Sonichu cufflinks in addition to the coins etc.

I've thought a Tie Pin would be a nice bit of Merch, Maybe even some form of Button or a 3D printed Challenge Coin Hell you can have them 3D printed and they will still function an you can get places to deliver to your customers as well for them - @Null maybe that's something worth looking into.

 

[My Name is Mud]

@Phalanges Mycologist to be fair, who would even wear those here? In fact, I bet a higher percentage of Farmers have a taint piercing than a need for tie pins or cufflinks...

 

[Pointless Sperg]

@Phalanges Mycologist

I think something like that would work for Chris but like the program found if that enforcement goes away he will quickly backslide, it's about giving him the stick as much as the carrort so he'd have to be fairly but firmly punished when he eventually tries to game the system.

One possibility would be to leverage AI to gauge the quality of work. The model could be trained to compensate when exploits are found.

Of course this would have to be for work that the AI could evaluate without actually being something the AI can do itself.