Aug 11 2022 - Case updated with "Waive right to indictment" and "transportation order" - Review scheduled for next year

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Ruckersville has a lot of "stroads" as they called now, half highway half roads that have no sidewalk, bike line or place to operate anything that is not a motor vehicle.

Try hiking them sometime.

I think we've had this discussion here before: you really need a car (or tractor) to survive in suburban / semi-rural Virginia, which might be part of their motivation for giving Chris a license. They didn't want him starving on their conscience.

Given that the Sonichu-mobile has not been started in a year

A little less than a year, actually. It hasn't been started in all that time because Barb totaled it playing chicken with an 18-wheeler. SonChu is history.

Either the aforementioned chinese scooter, or a shitbox car

One of those 49cc vespa knock-offs would work. I'm interested to see what pony tattoo Chris would put on its ass. Also some electric scooters can be pretty beefy these days, though I think Virginia limits them to 1kW and 30mph without a motorcycle endorsement on your license.

Chris has no hope at maintaining a gasoline engine, but he might be able to remember to recharge an electric.
 
I completely forgot the car got wrecked. That makes the situation quite a bit worse for Chris.

Chris has no hope at maintaining a gasoline engine, but he might be able to remember to recharge an electric.
Electric vehicles still need maintenance and when they break down they are much more expensive than an old internal combustion powered engine. Finding tires and replacement parts for these things can be a hassle and if they die you are just out of luck.

One of those 49cc vespa knock-offs would work. I'm interested to see what pony tattoo Chris would put on its ass. Also some electric scooters can be pretty beefy these days, though I think Virginia limits them to 1kW and 30mph without a motorcycle endorsement on your license.
First, I can totally see Chris getting the Tao Tao Pony just because it has the name "Pony." These things are marketed exactly to that demographic. As for electric mopeds, I am not quite sure. Even the top of the line moped the Vespa Elettrica has a top speed of 70 KPH (45 MPH) although this is far out of Chris' price range. That being said, Virginia lets you go 35MPH without a license. The cheapest electric moped on Amazon is $2K (but I did not look very hard) compared to the $800 engine powered one. I just can't see him being able to afford an electric one.

With all this being said, Chris would need to buy gloves, a motorcycle jacket, motorcycle (kevlar) jeans, and a helmet. All of which I am 100% sure he would cheap out on to the point of getting the crappiest of DOT helmets and nothing else.
 
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Their age was likely the reason Chris is autistic. There's a strangling between stale eggs and autists, especially backed up by the extreme increase in autistic births coinciding with the average age of mothers rising closer to 40 in the late 1990s.

The age of the father matters too. To a lesser degree than the mother, but it does have an effect. Male reproductive organs have a longer functional lifespan, so the quality of the gametes doesn't decay at the same rate as the final run of eggs.

One of those 49cc vespa knock-offs would work. I'm interested to see what pony tattoo Chris would put on its ass. Also some electric scooters can be pretty beefy these days, though I think Virginia limits them to 1kW and 30mph without a motorcycle endorsement on your license.

Mopeds are just motorized bikes (the "ped" comes from "pedals"). They were just the e-bikes before e-bikes. The low power non-motorcycle-licensed ones you can only use on local roads. While early e-bikes looked more like conventional bicycles, there are models of more robust design such that they now more resemble a modern moped (which went through the exact same evolution).

Regarding stroads, it's not so much a stroad issue, but a highway issue, given that the only major routes through Ruckersville are acutal highways. But since he's not going to be living at 14BC, and probably not in Ruckersville, the rural highway issue may not apply.

Many stroads do have bicycle infrastructure, albeit usually just a bike lane. It is not bike-friendly but at least you don't have to ride directly in a traffic lane. The biggest problem with stroads is that they are unfriendly to walking and walking-conducive environments, which has the knock-on effect of making bicycle journeys longer.

Urban stroads often have parallel smaller arterials a superblock away with more reasonable speed limits that are better for biking.
 
The more I think about it, the concept of Chris riding a motorbike is absolutely hilarious.
With all this being said, Chris would need to buy gloves, a motorcycle jacket, motorcycle (kevlar) jeans, and a helmet. All of which I am 100% sure he would cheap out on to the point of getting the crappiest of DOT helmets and nothing else.
Imagine the costume he'd create.
 
The age of the father matters too. To a lesser degree than the mother, but it does have an effect. Male reproductive organs have a longer functional lifespan, so the quality of the gametes doesn't decay at the same rate as the final run of eggs.
Also if you are a male child and the only X chromosome you got (which would have to be from your mother) is fucked, you are fucked because you have no functioning backup copy. That's why so many forms of tardation are specifically male because they're based on fucked up X chromosomes.

A number of the genes specifically associated with autism are on the X.
 
>Chris might escape further jailtime because of his autism
Who knew that this Cwcki meme would actually turn out to be true, 10~ years later?
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Their age was likely the reason Chris is autistic. There's a strangling between stale eggs and autists, especially backed up by the extreme increase in autistic births coinciding with the average age of mothers rising closer to 40 in the late 1990s.

Don't blame Barb's rotten century eggs entirely. Contrary to Lucas Werner's blathering about telomerase, geezer sperm ain't any better for genetics either. It goes without saying for both genders, having kids when you're over 40 is a bad idea. Chris got fucked in terms of neurological development, but he got blessed (or cursed) with Virginia hick longevity in spite of whatever circumstances his life is wrapped up with.
 
>Chris might escape further jailtime because of his autism
Who knew that this Cwcki meme would actually turn out to be true, 10~ years later?
View attachment 3605590

Every single time. Chris was also unintentionally genius by trooning out as he’a essentially untouchable as a retarded transgender person.

His only remaining weakness is that he’s a white redneck but since we’re talking about him and transportation maybe he can get himself in a wreck and become physically disabled.

Upon which he will ascend to his true Teflon Goddess-form as disability trumps white privilege in most peoples’ eyes.
 
Bob was old fashioned enough to probably think that getting Chris a bike would be enough to get him out of the house. There was probably a point in Bob's life where he thought when he taught Chris how to ride a bike, he would naturally go to a park and make friends with the neighborhood buys like he had as kid growing up in the '30's..
 
The more I think about and picture it, the funnier it becomes. Just imagine seeing him speeding by you on a poorly painted blue and yellow moped.
“If you can read this, Magi-Chan fell off.”

What the fuck is happening with cwc right now? Is he in prison still? group home confirmed? I'm ganna REEEE
He’s in jail waiting for a place in a group home of some kind (we presume based on evidence).
 
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