August 8th review

[Blasterman]

Personally, I've always liked to believe that this was the true ending to the Chris-chan story. Everything else since was just an awful dream.

I'm inclined to agree. Liquid Chris was the ultimate troll. Literally nobody could stand up to the genius move the Duckworth brothers pulled off in front of everybody. There was no topping that. It was the point after which Chris started to transition from a lolcow into a horrorcow.
In the case the verdict does end up removing Chris from the wider world, it's definitely going to be weird. Chris was the OG. The reason Kiwifarms even exists. This subforum has already winded down quite a bit since 2021 and the arrest. The only reason it's still up is because of Chris' value as the standard for every lolcow.

 

[Neil]

Whatever happens, Chris needs to be kept off the internet for the rest of his life. Both for his own good and the good of whatever staff (prison, halfway house, morticians etc) that have to tend to him after today.

 

[Tsukasa Kadoya]

Everyone is expecting jail or nuthouse, but what if, and hear me out on this one, he is at the stand and pulls off his wig and tears off his troon clothes to reveal a full tat sleeve and short hair. He then faces the Judge and says "This was a trick, YOU HAVE BEEN TROLLED!"
He then rides off into the sunset to work his 9-5 job that he does to support his family.

 

[GumballFapper]

Rate me late/gay if this is something I've missed, but how do we know he's in a women's care home? I thought it was the consensus that he'd be in a male home like he was in a male's jail.

He's in a female care house. Here's a picture of him on a tard group tour with 2 real women.

Thanks to retarded 2023 politics he will be able to get free slow-in-da-mind china as long as he's in the care house

 

[Ghostie with the Mostie]

He's in a female care house. Here's a picture of him on a tard group tour with 2 real women.
View attachment 5259076

Thanks to retarded 2023 politics he will be able to get free slow-in-da-mind china as long as he's in the care house

Jesus christ that's fucking shocking. Can't believe they're letting him near women after attacking an elderly one. The system is truly fucked.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

It's crazy to think how long of a trip watching Chris has been. It all started out with someone talking about a weird guy at the mall on the something awful forums and here we are. It's weird to think that this could be the end, but it's even weirder to think that he'll linger on forever.

Been one hell of a ride.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

Given Barb refused the rape kit and didn't get a charge as well, and Chris was in jail for a good year, his group home saga will be official starting today. He'll never see Barb again, probably not even at her funeral.

Even after death that Barbussy isn't safe from Chris's libido.

 

[Capsule Creatures]

At this point Chris is just a weird, sad version of the Sasquatch that gets spotted and documented lumbering around towns.

 

[Sniperwoof]

If he keeps his fat mouth shut he'll be fine. If he starts incoherently ranting about being a moon goddess and the pony dimension that might get him another psych ward stay.

 

[Catboy Ranch Dressing]

Been one hell of a ride.

It's basically just been a roller coaster ride into Chris' grave for the better part of the last decade.

 

[Random Internet Person]

Chris was the OG. The reason Kiwifarms even exists. This subforum has already winded down quite a bit since 2021 and the arrest. The only reason it's still up is because of Chris' value as the standard for every lolcow.

And then new challengers stepped into the ring. Ethan Ralph. Nick Fuentes. Phil Burnell. I think there may be a new standard that topped even the wildest of Chris.

Whatever happens, Chris needs to be kept off the internet for the rest of his life. Both for his own good and the good of whatever staff (prison, halfway house, morticians etc) that have to tend to him after today.

And the adventures of Sonichu will come to
An end. Unfortunate.

 

[RACISM]

Whatever happens, Chris needs to be kept off the internet for the rest of his life.

He's a mother raper. He also needs constant surveillance.

I propose 5 Go-Pro cameras strapped to him. One for each compass point and another pointed directly at his face. This should be streamed 24/7 for the entire world to hold Chris accountable.

 

[RussianParasite]

Everyone is expecting jail or nuthouse, but what if, and hear me out on this one, he is at the stand and pulls off his wig and tears off his troon clothes to reveal a full tat sleeve and short hair. He then faces the Judge and says "This was a trick, YOU HAVE BEEN TROLLED!"
He then rides off into the sunset to work his 9-5 job that he does to support his family.

It would be the most epic troll in all of history.

However, has anyone considered that the court rules that Barb “just kinda had it coming” and let’s him go back?

 

[Beautiful Border]

I know this is probably a stupid question, but I'm not very familiar with the US legal system: Does this mean he will be sentenced today, and we should expect to know it in a few hours or so?

 

[Divine right to rule]

Lets not forget the biggest sin here: he lied to Jewsh.

It was fascinating to see what Josh found acceptable and what not in that situation.
"You fucked your elderly mother? You little rascal, sleep one night on the parking lot and think about what you have done, and I will wire you 1000 dollar from your Gofundme. Don't talk to the trolls they want to harm you, and nobody will harm my special little boy."

"YOU LIED TO ME? FUCK YOU! No money and no advice for you. You shattered the trust of our relationship, and I don't think I can go on. Don't talk to me or my website ever again."

 

[Ass to Ass]

Jesus christ that's fucking shocking. Can't believe they're letting him near women after attacking an elderly one. The system is truly fucked.

I'm not shocked at all. Just business as usual for the "system" lmfao

 

[Chongqing]

I just read the whole thread so far and it hit me:

The courthouse closes in 90 minutes, and there's no sign we have anyone there to report what's happening or what has happened.

It's possible the hearing has concluded and we have no way of knowing the result.

ETA: the hearing started 5 1/2 hours ago. It's definitely concluded by now.

 

[Mr. Bones]

This nigger is going to walk with a slap on the wrist

 

[Whitney Houston On Crack]

I strongly doubt that this is the final chapter of Chris' story, no matter the verdict.

He has proven time and time again that he is the lolcow with the most cockroach-like endurance.

You see him, you get disgusted, you scream, you step on him with all your weight, you hear a nice crunch... and when you lift your foot up, to see what happened, he just scurries away at super sonic speed to do more bullshit.

Not even a nuclear blast can stop him.

This is far from over.

 

[Beautiful Border]

It was fascinating to see what Josh found acceptable and what not in that situation.
"You fucked your elderly mother? You little rascal, sleep one night on the parking lot and think about what you have done, and I will wire you 1000 dollar from your Gofundme. Don't talk to the trolls they want to harm you, and nobody will harm my special little boy."

"YOU LIED TO ME? FUCK YOU! No money and no advice for you. You shattered the trust of our relationship, and I don't think I can go on. Don't talk to me or my website ever again."

To paraphrase Mel Brooks, "Tragedy is when you lie to me about money I gave you, comedy is when you rape your senile mother"