Autism and Athiesm

[snowkitten91]

So your saying Chris should turn to Satanism? That actually sounds like something he might consider if someone told him about it.

Well, Chris has already tried to curse people who offended him for whatever reason (the bad luck curse-ye-ha-me-ha, sending the vengeful ghosts of Patti and Bob to torment his enemies, etc.).

Even if these things have just been Chris being his usual stupid, delusional self and haven't really caused anybody any suffering whatsoever, they're still close to things that actual Satanists and black magic users do and that are clearly prohibited by the Bible and the Church (Does Chris even read the Bible?).

 

[Henry Bemis]

(Does Chris even read the Bible?)

So far, only once, after some prodding from the work of renowned theologian Seth MacFarlane.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

I said this before on another thread, but Chris pretty much thinks of God like a lot of kids and even some adults do - that He's a Santa Claus type of being who is supposed to give you whatever you want. If you don't get what you want, it's either because you're being naughty, or, as Chris sees it, God is being a troll.

Chris does know a bit about the Bible, probably gleaned from Sunday school as a kid (Joseph and the story of forgiveness for being sold as a slave, anyone?). He almost certainly knows about creation (he even repeated creationist claptrap once), Noah's flood, the burning bush, Moses parting the Red Sea, some parts from the Gospels, etc.
I'm actually not too surprised that Chris hasn't read the whole Bible, even if Chris were the literary type. I remembering hearing one time that very few Christians (like less than 10%) have read the entire Bible.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

So your saying Chris should turn to Satanism? That actually sounds like something he might consider if someone told him about it.

What kind of Satanism?

Anton LaVey Satanism where you do what you want, take what you want and not give a shit what anyone says? Chris could get into that.

Or the mainstream perception of Satanism, where you cut open an infant on a stone altar in the forest, on the sixth day of the seventh full moon of roodmas? Chris woudn't like that. He'd be appalled by infanticide, sure. But Chris wouldn't like hiking through forests. And they'd get pissed if he pulled out his Vita when priest hoodie was mumbling latin.

 

[LordCustos3]

Well, he never really prays to GodJesus, rather he just demands things of GodJesus. He'll never learn how to pray because the most important part of prayer is to admit that you're a sinner and need forgiveness.

A small theological point of order, if you please:

To be accurate you should've phrased it thusly.
"He'll never learn how to pray because the most important part of Christian prayer is to admit to Jesus that you're transgressed against the will of the Christian version of the Abrahamic Deity and need forgiveness from Jesus, in order to be 'saved'.."

Anyone who is a theist, but not a Christian can and does pray; and it may or may not include admission of sinfulness.
Ideas like Sin, and Christian style "forgiveness" have no relevance outside Christianity.
The same way ideas like Ma'at, Karma and Thetans have no relevance inside Christianity.


Anyhow, back on track: the real reason Chris'tard doesn't pray "properly" is because he doesn't understand the Chain of Command.
Authority emanates from The God-head downward, not from The Chris-head upward.

 

[Trombonista]

Or, in other words, "'I'm Jesus. 'Sup?'"

I just noticed that Ivy has green eyes in the flag-waving background, but blue eyes when reaching to shrunken-head Chris.

 

[Bugaboo]

I have autism and I still believe in the Christian God but then again I'm on the part of the spectrum that only has trouble with social things and then everything else is normal so I can grasp abstract concepts like religion.
But Chris doesn't truely understand religion of any kind but he's been taught that God exsists since he was little so it must be true.

 

[Holdek]

it looks like god is saying "wow my biological clock is fixed"

TBH I don't really know what's going on in the heart there. Why are there two Ivys and two Chris'? And why is one bare chested (OH COME ON, DUDE! WEAR A BRA FOR GOD SAKES!) waving his shirt as a flag?

UPDATE: I'm going to ask the canon experts over in the Sonichu forum if they can interpret this for me.

Chris did seem to be devout in his own way at one point. There are some early emails with his pastor where he seems genuinely distraught over the sinful nudes he did.

Well... IIRC, it was a preemptive asking for forgiveness from his pastor because he thought trolls would send her e-mails with links to the ED page. So it seemed to me more about covering his ass than genuine remorse.

Actually, this was probably one of the smartest things Chris ever did.

These days he's abandoned the house of God, but I doubt he's any sort of atheist. Removing God from his worldview would make no sense because he has no other understanding to fill the gaps with.
"Oh yeah? If there's no God, who keeps the sun rotating around the earth?"

Totally agree with this.

The reason he'll never go full-tilt atheist is because to renounce God-even a malicious one-would be to renounce any hope of his final vindication against his tormentors. No God means no damning judgment upon the trolls while Chris strolls through the pearly gates with slutty angels making love to him twelve at a time.

I wonder does Chris actually take much comfort from the "fact" that the trolls are going to hell? I remember one time he said Clyde was destined for the underworld or something, but I'd expect Chris to bring it up more if he saw it as a final turn of the tables against the trolls.

For that matter, I wonder if Chris thinks much about going to heaven ("or possibly reincarnation"). For me at least, death is a bit scary and also feels like it's beyond my understanding, and even with the hope of heaven I can imagine a lot of people avoid thinking about it. Chris might be among them.

Still, I agree that there does have to be a heaven in Chris's world - for Patti.

The dead family members that send Chris messages have to exist somewhere.

Heaven, or at least the version Chris inadvertently promised himself long ago, is basically the ultimate cwcville for Chris - even at his lowest point, he can still tell himself "well, at least when I die I'll have everything I want, even if I don't get any of it while I'm alive". Chris could never abandon this fantasy. Even if he thinks God turned into a troll, Chris expects that when he dies, God will leave Heaven so Chris can sit there in peace with no trolls in sight.

Unfortunately for Chris, the TRUE and HONEST God doesn't take selfishness, self-entitlement and pride very lightly (cough cough *Satan* cough cough).

Heck, Our Pet Lolcow has even (quite accurately) already compared himself to the devil with his fallen angel lego figurine (even if that wasn't the idea that he was trying to convey with said figurine in the first place).

If Chris-Chan has the presence of mind to compare himself to the fallen angel Lucifer with those Legos, then my name isn't Holdek.

Well, he never really prays to GodJesus, rather he just demands things of GodJesus. He'll never learn how to pray because the most important part of prayer is to admit that you're a sinner and need forgiveness.

A small theological point of order, if you please:

To be accurate you should've phrased it thusly.
"He'll never learn how to pray because the most important part of Christian prayer is to admit to Jesus that you're transgressed against the will of the Christian version of the Abrahamic Deity and need forgiveness from Jesus, in order to be 'saved'.."

Anyone who is a theist, but not a Christian can and does pray; and it may or may not include admission of sinfulness.
Ideas like Sin, and Christian style "forgiveness" have no relevance outside Christianity.
The same way ideas like Ma'at, Karma and Thetans have no relevance inside Christianity.


Anyhow, back on track: the real reason Chris'tard doesn't pray "properly" is because he doesn't understand the Chain of Command.
Authority emanates from The God-head downward, not from The Chris-head upward.

Okay, well, you don't need to pray to Jesus for forgiveness in Protestant Christianity, because Jesus already died for your sins, and you just need to accept that sacrifice as your salvation.

Catholicism is closer to what you said.

Also I think in Judaism, and definitely in Islam, these notions of "forgiveness" do exist.

Or, in other words, "'I'm Jesus. 'Sup?'"

I just noticed that Ivy has green eyes in the flag-waving background, but blue eyes when reaching to shrunken-head Chris.

Also facial expressions seem to be "I don't really like this" on both Ivys.

 

[DykesDykesChina]

Anyone else notice that Sonichu and Rosechu resemble a tard version of the ancient Greek Olympic gods? They have superhuman abilities - extreme speed, strength, shooting lightning etc. - but not to the degree of an Abramitic monotheist divine entity, they have a rather active sex life and they are vindictive and easily angered.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Yup. It's too bad Chris didn't write Sonichu for his high school English assignment on myth writing. It would have been much lulzier than "How the Pokemon got into our PokeBalls."

I guess we can call Sonichu the mythology of a tard?

 

[Holdek]

I think Chris would be better with polytheistic paganism.

 

[LordCustos3]

Is Yahweh just OPL on a Cosmic Scale?

blah blah blah boring shit only theology 'sperg-nerds like me care about.

Okay, well, you don't need to pray to Jesus for forgiveness in Protestant Christianity, because Jesus already died for your sins, and you just need to accept that sacrifice as your salvation.

Catholicism is closer to what you said.

Not exactly. Certain sects of Protestantism still insist that even the "saved" have to keep re-repenting. Its not like Salvation expires like a magazine subscription....its just that The World is a corrupting influence (Gnosticism says 'Hi') and you have to keep staring at that mental picture of Sailor Jesus to stay on the Straight Path.

Also I think in Judaism, and definitely in Islam, these notions of "forgiveness" do exist.

Well, yeah....because -- as much as the warring factions hate to admit it -- Yahweh/Jehovah/Allah is still the same Abrahamic Deity. They just like to kill each other over tiny minutiae.
Judaism is where the Forgiveness Debt idea came from originally, because Yahweh (as portrayed in the Old Testament) has a mentality like OPL:
* He needs constant praise.
* He gets butthurt real easy.
* He holds intense grudges over trivial "infractions" for a very, very long time.
* Any complaints about his obvious incompetence leads to Death Threats and Curseyamehamehas.
* He thinks everyone owes him.
* He wants da homogays to die in explosions.
* He's too lazy to get off his fat ass and blow up da homogays himself.



Ooops. I guess everyone can tell which side of the Theist/Atheist debate I'm on.

 

[cubesandcubes]

Anyone else notice that Sonichu and Rosechu resemble a tard version of the ancient Greek Olympic gods? They have superhuman abilities - extreme speed, strength, shooting lightning etc. - but not to the degree of an Abramitic monotheist divine entity, they have a rather active sex life and they are vindictive and easily angered.

Yeah, and look at some Christian sect's obsessive fixation on various "lesser" supernatural beings such as demons, succubi and angels. All of which tend to be be percived as being more immediately imminent and tied to everyday human vices and virtues than say, God or Jesus. Or, even certain folk practices not formally sanctioned by a sect's higherarchy as sin-eating or the veneration of Santa Meurte.

 

[KawaiiChrisChan]

Re: Is Yahweh just OPL on a Cosmic Scale?

blah blah blah boring shit only theology 'sperg-nerds like me care about.

Okay, well, you don't need to pray to Jesus for forgiveness in Protestant Christianity, because Jesus already died for your sins, and you just need to accept that sacrifice as your salvation.

Catholicism is closer to what you said.

Not exactly. Certain sects of Protestantism still insist that even the "saved" have to keep re-repenting. Its not like Salvation expires like a magazine subscription....its just that The World is a corrupting influence (Gnosticism says 'Hi') and you have to keep staring at that mental picture of Sailor Jesus to stay on the Straight Path.

Also I think in Judaism, and definitely in Islam, these notions of "forgiveness" do exist.

Well, yeah....because -- as much as the warring factions hate to admit it -- Yahweh/Jehovah/Allah is still the same Abrahamic Deity. They just like to kill each other over tiny minutiae.
Judaism is where the Forgiveness Debt idea came from originally, because Yahweh (as portrayed in the Old Testament) has a mentality like OPL:
* He needs constant praise.
* He gets butthurt real easy.
* He holds intense grudges over trivial "infractions" for a very, very long time.
* Any complaints about his obvious incompetence leads to Death Threats and Curseyamehamehas.
* He thinks everyone owes him.
* He wants da homogays to die in explosions.
* He's too lazy to get off his fat ass and blow up da homogays himself.



Ooops. I guess everyone can tell which side of the Theist/Atheist debate I'm on.

Guys, Lets NOT argue about our personal opinions on religion. Its one of those things that ends up tearing people apart.

(Ive had this argument with myself for some years now, and I really dont want to crash back into slumber.)

 

[Surtur]

I think Chris would be better with polytheistic paganism.

He can stay the fuck away.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

Or, in other words, "'I'm Jesus. 'Sup?'"

I just noticed that Ivy has green eyes in the flag-waving background, but blue eyes when reaching to shrunken-head Chris.

I love how "Jesus" is some asian guy wearing a hideous wig and a cheap, obviously fake beard---its almost as if Chris subconsciounsly knew that Ivy wasnt real and inadvertedly drew a not TRUE AND HONEST Godjesus

 

[Henry Bemis]

Are we also not surprised that Jesus is depicted as a white guy?

 

[Hasharin]

Are we also not surprised that Jesus is depicted as a white guy?

Well, he was a Semite, so what else he could be?

 

[Henry Bemis]

Are we also not surprised that Jesus is depicted as a white guy?

Well, he was a Semite, so what else he could be?

Maybe something closer to

Spoiler

 

[BlockyStyle]

Are we also not surprised that Jesus is depicted as a white guy?

Well, he was a Semite, so what else he could be?

Wait, Jesus was a Semite? I don't know; if he was, you'd expect his last name to be something stereotypical like "Snyder" or something.