Bad Advice Thread - Absolutely retarded suggestions that will make your life worse or even destroy it

pyrinyx said:
Don't pay your rent. In fact, don't pay anything. You'll have more money for yourself.

Quit a job, but do not have one lined up. It's about principles after all.
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Taxes are complete bullshit. They tell you you owe them, but they literally can't do shit to collect them. Just ignore them. Filing taxes is for retards.
 
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Feeling disgruntled, incels?

Convert to Islam! If you pray 5 times a day and eschew pork, Allah the Most Merciful will grant you 72 virgins in eternal Paradise!
 
Evolution really fucked up your respiratory system during the Carboniferous, when there was too much air in the air and taking it in directly would result in spontaneous Tetrapod combustion.

If you want to breathe real, unfiltered air like God intended, you need to stab ventilation holes in your chest so that the oxygen can get in more easily. This will flood all of your body's cells with sweet, sweet O², giving you certain superpowers like perfect memory, super strength, and the ability to masturbate to completion by thought alone, usually a minimum of 10 times an hour (some reports suggest an average of 26; personally, I think those sound like rookie numbers).

Some of these abilities may draw the attention of the CIA, who will fear you. Use them wisely.
 
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Always be TRUE and HONEST, especially when arguing with people who don’t have your best interest in mind. Revealing embarrassing information unprompted in the middle of an argument with trolls is sure to make them relent. There is no such thing as over sharing!
 
AnOminous said:
Just give the dumbest advice you can possibly imagine.
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If a police officer stops you do not make eye contact and reach into your pockets to soothe yourself. If asked to keep your hands out of your pockets then pull them out as fast as humanely possible using a jerking motion to comply, maybe even grab your wallet while youre at it and point it at them as to make sure they have access to your ID.
 
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When trying to stay lean, make sure to eat ONLY carbs so you have enough energy to workout.
 
Snort a mixture of table salt and ground cayenne pepper. Despite the sting, it yields several health benefits.
 
The Presidency of the United States is just one big glorified popularity contest. Since that's all it is, and since you're MUCH more popular that those jokers (your mom even tells you so every day!), just head on to Washington, DC & take over! Once everyone sees how cool and awesome you are. they'll all fall right in line!
 
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If you need a black person to like you, just yell nigger at them. They'll respect your bravery.
 
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