Bad Game Reviews - Did you actually play the damn game?

[Snekposter]

I like Days Gone, I got it on Steam. The journos hated it just because the main protagonist was a huwite man. Days Gone didn't try to re-invent the wheel (no pun intended), it was just a decent open world zombie survival game.

I couldn't think of anything particularly wrong with it when I played. 8/10 IMO.

 

[Flaming Insignias]

I don't have the link but Jim Sterling's review of BOTW was absolute ass. He's either to fat to notice or straight up lied about things in the game. Like how Shrines changed color combinations depending on whether you had completed it, found before or if it was new to you. I believe it was the latter because BOTW was causing more excitement than Horizon and was gonna beat OoT on Metacritic.

Also Patrick Klepek covering his eyes while playing Yakuza 0.

I still can't get over Jim complaining about weapon durability in an open world survival game. He doesn't like having to engage in resource management, and he let that taint his review of multiple games, including whining about Dead Rising 1+2 requiring you to keep track of your survivors and gear.

 

[The Great Citracett]

I like Days Gone, I got it on Steam. The journos hated it just because the main protagonist was a huwite man.

This. Days Gone is great. But all the reviews were just endless bitching about the main character being a white guy, having a white name, a gruff voice, just being masculine in general. As one might expect of a guy years into the zombie apocalypse.

Which apparently makes the game generic and not worth playing, regardless of the story, combat, world building, etc.

 

[SomeDingus]

Basically Postal 4 is just Postal 2 watered down with better graphics.

I would argue Postal 4's graphics are worse than 2's. Postal 2 had stylistic models, while Postal 4 looks like some sort of mobile game asset flip.

 

[Snekposter]

This. Days Gone is great. But all the reviews were just endless bitching about the main character being a white guy, having a white name, a gruff voice, just being masculine in general. As one might expect of a guy years into the zombie apocalypse.

Which apparently makes the game generic and not worth playing, regardless of the story, combat, world building, etc.

Everything was so white... aside from the token lesbian chicks and that one based black dude. God, it was awesome. Seriously, those are the sorts of people you'd find not dying in a zombie apocalypse. The crazy radio ranting prepper, slaving jail matron, awesome old guy, psycho militia leader, and bikers who don't give a shit.

 

[Back me up!]

Everything was so white... aside from the token lesbian chicks and that one based black dude. God, it was awesome. Seriously, those are the sorts of people you'd find not dying in a zombie apocalypse. The crazy radio ranting prepper, slaving jail matron, awesome old guy, psycho militia leader, and bikers who don't give a shit.

It was also the godman Midwest, of course it was gonna be fucking white. I bounced off Day's Gone after 15 hours or so but I can see how people enjoy it. And to your point I like how the character even talk about how only dirtbags and hard ass people are the ones that make it in a zombie apocalypse. The MC even has a radio conversation talking about playing the game "What did they do before the apocalypse": it was never accountants or programmers.

 

[Snekposter]

It was also the godman Midwest, of course it was gonna be fucking white. I bounced off Day's Gone after 15 hours or so but I can see how people enjoy it. And to your point I like how the character even talk about how only dirtbags and hard ass people are the ones that make it in a zombie apocalypse. The MC even has a radio conversation talking about playing the game "What did they do before the apocalypse": it was never accountants or programmers.

Its in Central Oregon, not the Midwest. The final map is set around Crater Lake, and the final mission has you storm the villain's underground lair in Wizard Island. There's even a conversation later on where you compare the zombie hordes that regularly make their way up the freeways to the Californians who use to drive up every summer to party and fuck up the local environment.

 

[Turkey Beef]

This review of DMC3 by a formerly popular Youtuber (and I mean back when the site was still in its infancy) really takes the cake for me. A few choice quotes:


I honestly can't believe I ever liked watching and reading his takes.

I'm kinda surprised DMC3 (Aka RandomDCE Aka KittyDCE Aka James Thompsett) never got his farms thread. Granted, DCE's sick joke of an internet "career" crashed and burned¹ even before the farms became popular, but it's still amazing that he even bothers to update his Deviantart to this day, considering how he slowly but surely drove everyone away with his extreme psychopathy, among other things². For the sake of staying topic, here's another doozy DCE crapped out about Sonic Boom about seven years back. Keep in mind he was 30 years old then and is nearing 37 now. The following quote summarizes quite nicely his self-absorbed smugfaggotry:

>I was told the show was written years ago, which seems correct considering the horrically dated Justin Bieber reference. On a personal note can I just say this to the writing staff.

>Justin BEAVER?

>Really? What were Ozzy Osboar, Bat Midler or Bearber Streisand too on the nose for ya?

Goes without saying that the entirety of his Deviantart account is a goldmine of bad reviews, bad takes and bad-everything. This thread could very well be filled with mockery of the infantile garbage he puts out, but I suppose I'm getting too ahead of myself.

¹Not counting his failed attempt at resurrecting it with his GamerGate bandwagoning.

²For those not in the know, DCE's entire "fame" came not so much his tacky, juvenile videos or poorly-constructed "reviews," but moreso from his fixation on stalking and harassing children on youtube and elsewhere online, and demanding asspats for "teaching them a lesson." Not ultra fucking creepy at all.

 

[Product Placement]

I was looking forward to Days Gone but didn't like it in the end. Main issues is that game need to be full in on gamey/arcadey with it's gameplay or go full in the survival but we get this meh generic 3rd person shooter gameplay which maybe fine for a 8 hour game but for a 30+ hour one gets boring and it never really changes up outside the hordes which a are nice idea but I found everyone went the same way gameplay wise and the novelty wore off fast from them. Real bloat and repetition issues with the game that are sadly too common in gaming now.

Another issue the game is just too long and the story really is genetic to care about, how will say the set up for the Day Gone 2 was something more engaging if they did make that game. Game does look great and impressive the ps4 can run it however the faces really look weird for some reason, that doesn't make the game worse in any meaningful way but is just a oddity.

It's not a broken game my any means, everything works fine just nothing stands out about it. I do hope Sony Bend does listen to some of the feedback (not the whole too white stuff) and make a better game next. B

I would personality give it a 5/10, wouldn't have been against a follow up if it improved but not broken up about the ip being dead.

 

[Snekposter]

I was looking forward to Days Gone but didn't like it in the end. Main issues is that game need to be full in on gamey/arcadey with it's gameplay or go full in the survival but we get this meh generic 3rd person shooter gameplay which maybe fine for a 8 hour game but for a 30+ hour one gets boring and it never really changes up outside the hordes which a are nice idea but I found everyone went the same way gameplay wise and the novelty wore off fast from them. Real bloat and repetition issues with the game that are sadly too common in gaming now.

Another issue the game is just too long and the story really is genetic to care about, how will say the set up for the Day Gone 2 was something more engaging if they did make that game. Game does look great and impressive the ps4 can run it however the faces really look weird for some reason, that doesn't make the game worse in any meaningful way but is just a oddity.

It's not a broken game my any means, everything works fine just nothing stands out about it. I do hope Sony Bend does listen to some of the feedback (not the whole too white stuff) and make a better game next. B

I would personality give it a 5/10, wouldn't have been against a follow up if it improved but not broken up about the ip being dead.

Pretty sure the reviewers would be creaming their pants over us getting to kill the bleached white mutant Feds in Days Gone 2 though.

 

[_squall]

Basically Postal 4 is just Postal 2 watered down with better graphics. Get Postal 2, plus Paradise Lost, install xPatch 2.0, or better yet, wait for xPatch 2.0 Extended to come out, as that adds plenty of content on top of all the bug fixing and play that.

Paradise Lost being released like 10 years later on the same exact engine and still doing well just makes me wonder why they didn't just keep building on Postal 2+PL. No one played Postal 2 for the graphics, they liked how irreverent, crass and violent it was. Obviously working with the same framework won't make the writing like it used to, but at the very least the game wouldn't run like total dogshit like 4.

 

[Lathe]

Borderlands 1 mostly because the enemies became a slog even with a friend and the ending was a disappointment.

 

[LightDragonman1]

²For those not in the know, DCE's entire "fame" came not so much his tacky, juvenile videos or poorly-constructed "reviews," but moreso from his fixation on stalking and harassing children on youtube and elsewhere online, and demanding asspats for "teaching them a lesson." Not ultra fucking creepy at all.

Care to elaborate on that point?

Most I know of him is his overly smug demeanor, which is part of the reason he refuses to change or adapt to anything, be it a game’s mechanics or how to produce content, lest he be seen as “lowering himself down to those he hates and is superior to in terms of tastes and intellect”.

 

[Turkey Beef]

Care to elaborate on that point?

There are plenty of examples on his youtube channel alone, but I don't feel like combing thought that one at the moment. He did remove a fair share of particularly compromising videos over the years, a fair share which were backed up here and there. Here are a few examples below (For the record, the first video's title claims it was "edited," but that complete bull):

The rest under the spoiler tag:

Spoiler

 

[Ammyterasu]

This review of Dragon's Dogma is really something:

http://www.bagofgames.com/dragons-dogma-is-the-worst-game-i-have-ever-played/

I don't mind negative reviews much, especially since DD is one of those games you either love or hate (and I love it). But this one is just so annoying and unintentionally hilarious at the same time. I doubt that guy played action RPGs before or any games with no handholding/game journo difficulty.
Also it was written before Dark Arisen was released, so he couldn't even pick the Hard difficulty by mistake. He's just shit.

 

[Buster Scruggs]

I would argue Postal 4's graphics are worse than 2's. Postal 2 had stylistic models, while Postal 4 looks like some sort of mobile game asset flip.

As a diehard Postal fan since before even the movie I completely agree, to me 4 feels more like a cash grab. Reminder that the most problems 3 had that you can blame on Akella were bugs and glitches, RWS still wrote the game and did modeling and stuff. I did like Postal 4, but I didn't think it came close to 2. There's so many small details and things just flat out left out it's kind of ridiculous. I mean, just compare the AI of the two games, in 2 they felt stupid, yet had tons of small touches and interactions that made the game feel more alive. Postal 4 fans always throw the "BUt pOStAL 2 WaS FIxED ovErTIMe", but 2 was way more functional on release than 4, and it didn't get any official major patches aside from dedicated modders until it released on steam years later.

The fact 4 was well received pretty much proves how the fan base just plummeted. Just go look at the subreddit, last time I did I saw a child posting a fucking moblie racing game ad, and nobody cared and it was on the top of the hot posts page. They recently took out a rampage mission for being racist despite the task being a reference to GTA. I get it's a "different time" but holy fuck, stick your ground at the very least.

Sorry for the necro and tldr, it's just I've had to watch this series and the community it had just collapse. The blow up of the game on mainstream YouTube channels like Pyrocynical really fucked the community over. Someone who reviewed it described it as "Reddit Postal 2" and I thought that described it pretty well.

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

They recently took out a rampage mission for being racist despite the task being a reference to GTA. I get it's a "different time" but holy fuck, stick your ground at the very least.

WHAT. Why? That sounds like a very unpostal thing to do. Isn't the point of the postal games to offend people? Why would you take out something that is offensive, but isn't a legal problem to have in. Fuckin hell this makes me MATI.

 

[Buster Scruggs]

WHAT. Why? That sounds like a very unpostal thing to do. Isn't the point of the postal games to offend people? Why would you take out something that is offensive, but isn't a legal problem to have in. Fuckin hell this makes me MATI.

People were bitching on the Steam forum about it, I think it got locked but it quickly devolved into a trash fire of people arguing if the taliban in 2 were making fun of Muslims or just the taliban. Mike J was also banning people on dev streams for asking about where the taliban were in this game.

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

People were bitching on the Steam forum about it, I think it got locked but it quickly devolved into a trash fire of people arguing if the taliban in 2 were making fun of Muslims or just the taliban. Mike J was also banning people on dev streams for asking about where the taliban were in this game.

It's a sad day when even the games made to be offensive devolve into this.

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

It's a sad day when even the games made to be offensive devolve into this.

Tbf, Offensive was always made to trigger your parents and pastor. The moments it triggers the average player then the content becomes haram. Problem is that modern audience sensibilities are worse than the worst moral guardians 20 years ago.