Bad guys from mythology who aren't that bad - Mordred did nothing wrong

[Calandrino]

Paris of Troy. All of the legends about his life pre-Helen talk at length about his intelligence, his courage, and his honesty. That's why the gods chose him to judge which of the goddesses was the most beautiful, leading him to choose Aphrodite when she promised him the most beautiful woman in the world. That was Helen, of course. Some accounts say that he stole Helen from her husband, others that she willingly fled with him. She certainly seems to have been content with him during their time together in Troy.

The Greeks did a pretty good job of blackening his name, for being the 'cause' of the war (trade routes control was the probable actual reason) and because he was the one to kill Achilles, despite being a far inferior warrior. Bonus points because he did it with an arrow, which was not considered exactly a coward's weapon, but was much less respected than actual hand-to-hand combat.

Agreed. It's not like he was even looking for trouble. He only got dragged into the whole mess when the goddesses made him pick between being a zogbot general, being a (((politician))), and banging the hottest woman on earth. Obviously he made the correct choice, but in Greek culture there is no graver dishonor than voluntarily having sex with a woman, so they decide to wage war instead of finding a new beard for Menelaus.

So off they go, with the greatest "hero" of the Greeks, Achilles. Achilles is a crybaby who is the greatest warrior solely because he has literal godmode invincibility cheats on from birth and can't possibly lose. All he has to do is actually show up and bother to kill the enemy, but he can't even do that right. Instead, he throws a tantrum and refuses to fight because Agamemnon won't buy him a toy from Wal-Mart, which gets his boyfriend killed.

Paris, the smartest man on earth, figures out that maybe shooting an arrow at Achilles' single vulnerable spot might be a better plan than "bravely" hacking away at the invulnerable parts of his body while standing in melee range. He oneshots him, basically the equivalent of taking out the Death Star from orbit with a pea shooter.

Scrubs that they are, the Greeks can whine that ranged weapons are cheating and doing the one possible thing that could kill Achilles isn't fair. Wah, that's cheap, wah, you're spamming. It's called ZONING. jfc either learn the matchup or pick a different weapon. Or try wearing a boot at least? Yet they'll defend Soydyseus's bitch move with the wooden horse, go figure.

 

[DespotCTM]

If you count Christianity as mythology then I think you could make a case for Judas. Yes he betrayed Jesus and got him kill but without this happening then Jesus wouldn’t had been able to complete the prophecy he came down for. It’s also implied that Satan entered Judas’ body during this time period which means that there was a chance that Judas really didn’t even know what he was doing at the time making him more of a victim then a monster that most paint him out to be.

I don't remember where I heard it but because the bible was rewritten so many times the writers kept making Judas Iscariot eviler while appearantly big J and him talked and discussed a lot about how true divinity is within and the body is just a vessel and it is set free upon death or something, just two bros having the 3AM deep talks.

And even if that was all BS Judas killed himself after returning the 30 silver (which also was added in later editions of the bible so who knows) so he did feel either immense guilt or grief over losing his friend Jesus

 

[God of Nothing]

Agreed. It's not like he was even looking for trouble. He only got dragged into the whole mess when the goddesses made him pick between being a zogbot general, being a (((politician))), and banging the hottest woman on earth. Obviously he made the correct choice, but in Greek culture there is no graver dishonor than voluntarily having sex with a woman, so they decide to wage war instead of finding a new beard for Menelaus.

So off they go, with the greatest "hero" of the Greeks, Achilles. Achilles is a crybaby who is the greatest warrior solely because he has literal godmode invincibility cheats on from birth and can't possibly lose. All he has to do is actually show up and bother to kill the enemy, but he can't even do that right. Instead, he throws a tantrum and refuses to fight because Agamemnon won't buy him a toy from Wal-Mart, which gets his boyfriend killed.

Paris, the smartest man on earth, figures out that maybe shooting an arrow at Achilles' single vulnerable spot might be a better plan than "bravely" hacking away at the invulnerable parts of his body while standing in melee range. He oneshots him, basically the equivalent of taking out the Death Star from orbit with a pea shooter.

Scrubs that they are, the Greeks can whine that ranged weapons are cheating and doing the one possible thing that could kill Achilles isn't fair. Wah, that's cheap, wah, you're spamming. It's called ZONING. jfc either learn the matchup or pick a different weapon. Or try wearing a boot at least? Yet they'll defend Soydyseus's bitch move with the wooden horse, go figure.

This is why the Romans decided they were descendants of Troy
because fuck gre*koids

 

[Paul Atreides]

Cronus because babies are delicious
t. Benjamin Netanyahu

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

Agreed. It's not like he was even looking for trouble. He only got dragged into the whole mess when the goddesses made him pick between being a zogbot general, being a (((politician))), and banging the hottest woman on earth. Obviously he made the correct choice, but in Greek culture there is no graver dishonor than voluntarily having sex with a woman, so they decide to wage war instead of finding a new beard for Menelaus.

So off they go, with the greatest "hero" of the Greeks, Achilles. Achilles is a crybaby who is the greatest warrior solely because he has literal godmode invincibility cheats on from birth and can't possibly lose. All he has to do is actually show up and bother to kill the enemy, but he can't even do that right. Instead, he throws a tantrum and refuses to fight because Agamemnon won't buy him a toy from Wal-Mart, which gets his boyfriend killed.

Paris, the smartest man on earth, figures out that maybe shooting an arrow at Achilles' single vulnerable spot might be a better plan than "bravely" hacking away at the invulnerable parts of his body while standing in melee range. He oneshots him, basically the equivalent of taking out the Death Star from orbit with a pea shooter.

Scrubs that they are, the Greeks can whine that ranged weapons are cheating and doing the one possible thing that could kill Achilles isn't fair. Wah, that's cheap, wah, you're spamming. It's called ZONING. jfc either learn the matchup or pick a different weapon. Or try wearing a boot at least? Yet they'll defend Soydyseus's bitch move with the wooden horse, go figure.

You've got to be Italian to be sucking that much Trojan cock.

In the Iliad, there wasn't even the concept of Achilles being invincible and he suffers minor wounds as much as the rest of the characters. And you must remember that Agamemnon isn't Achilles's king and he had no right to steal away his woman. He disrespects Achilles and then demands he works like a dog. That isn't in accordance with justice. And calling Patroclus Achilles's "boyfriend" is further slander from that ancient fujo Plato. Such a concept is never mentioned or implied by Homer.

If Paris is so smart, then why does he allow his entire people to be slaughtered for the sake of one thot? All 50 sons of Priam are killed, their wives enslaved, and their children butchered. For that matter, if Hector is so heroic, why does he sacrifice 48 brothers for the sake of one? This illogical behavior on the part of the Trojans is what made Herodotus conclude that Helen was not actually in Troy and was instead in Egypt, as some other myths state.

Face it, your golden boy caused the complete destruction of his people. He's more of a bad guy then Homer describes.

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

>people arguing over the fate of Judas to be edgy or misremembering the Bible

Judas was a militant zealot who basically was upset that Christ was not going to build his kingdom in this Earth. There were other zealots and impulsive who could’ve turned Christ in amongst the disciples.
Also, the Imperfect world thing is because man chose to disobey God with the possibility of knowledge of things like sin and death.

Lilith isn’t even Jewish, it’s Protestant nonsense from the 11th century.

Someone from actually mythology is Ares. Only Greek God to love his children to the point of trying to protect them and get justice for them. Most of his stuff with Aphrodite was consensual and he never really raped anyone that I know of.
He basically comes out of the womb ready to kill giants who insulted his mother and tends to not scheme.
He also doesn’t pick sides between his parents and Zeus might hate him for being first born.

 

[Curzon Dax-sama]

Someone said it already: Lucifer in snake form.
All the slithering fuck said was you wont die, and gave humans consciousness, or what ever youd call it. Made them aware? You know what I mean.

YAWH is the real villain in the old Testament. Everyone's getting together to build a tower to heaven -fuck em, give them the brain scramblies and scatter them across the earth.
What? Man has been corrupted and perverse? Why should I offer them guidance b drown everyone!
Kill your son to prove your loyal to me.
No! Stop it you asshole! I was only fucking with you.
Oh yeah and he killed all those egyptian kids. I dont think they had any say in egyptian policies...

One of the weirdest things YHWH did was telling one of the main dudes how to recruit his soldiers on the eve of battle, basically eliminating the numerical advantage the Hebrews had over the enemies in that instance, only to fuck off the second the battle starts aka "you will totally win this, trust me bro, but I must leave now to fuck with other idiots like you". Why YHWH would do that is anyone's guess.

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

Ares. Dude was bloodthirsty sure, but you don't see him rape any of his baby mamas.

 

[Uranus Pink]

Prometheus. Yeah well he wasn't a villain by any merit. Dude was just the mortals sympathiser so he end up in everlasting torture for letting them to have a bit of warm.

Prometheus had the gift of foresight enabling him to see the future. That and him being the chaddest of dude bros repeatedly helped uplift mankind. With knowledge, fire, and tricking the gods by switching the first offering to them. Which the gods had wanted the best parts of the animal, and Prometheus helped men by tricking the gods into accepting the inedible scraps and other offal.

Prometheus had been tortured up until Heracles decided to go fuck that shit and went to go kill his tormenter and freed Prometheus from his chains. Afterwards Prometheus became known as Prometheus Unbound and remained free.

 

[soy_king]

Sisyphus was condemned to eternal suffering for repeatedly tricking the Gods, and what exactly did he do? Get his city a clean spring and try to avoid an early death after it was obvious he was on the Olympians' shit list. That story is literally just the Gods being pouty babies that they got tricked by a mortal

 

[HodgePodgeRogerDodger]

Ares. Dude was bloodthirsty sure, but you don't see him rape any of his baby mamas.

He cared enough about Eros that he gave him a brother for a playmate, Anteros. He also stayed out of his parents quarrels by not picking a side.

His entire fault is Zeus being paranoid about being usurped and being the most self-sacrificing out of the Gods.

 

[BarberFerdinand]

Potentially Kronos. It seems a lot of his issues were directly between him and the gods, but some accounts describe humans as experiencing a golden age under his rule.

 

[Haint]

Coyote

 

[Monuklear]

I'm going to say Moloch, if for no other reason than there being a lot of evidence that "Moloch" was not the name of a specific deity but rather a specific (child sacrificing?) ritual.

If you count Christianity as mythology then I think you could make a case for Judas. Yes he betrayed Jesus and got him kill but without this happening then Jesus wouldn’t had been able to complete the prophecy he came down for. It’s also implied that Satan entered Judas’ body during this time period which means that there was a chance that Judas really didn’t even know what he was doing at the time making him more of a victim then a monster that most paint him out to be.

I don't remember where I heard it but because the bible was rewritten so many times the writers kept making Judas Iscariot eviler while appearantly big J and him talked and discussed a lot about how true divinity is within and the body is just a vessel and it is set free upon death or something, just two bros having the 3AM deep talks.

And even if that was all BS Judas killed himself after returning the 30 silver (which also was added in later editions of the bible so who knows) so he did feel either immense guilt or grief over losing his friend Jesus

That is the basic premise behind the Gospel of Judas, a gnostic gospel that didn't make it into the NT canon because, well, it's a gnostic gospel. What DespotCTM is referring to is probably that.
According to the gospel, Judas wasn't just "all that bad", but was actually the best disciple, the one who truly understood Jesus's message and the only one who could be given the all-important task of "betraying" him.

the bible was rewritten so many times

The bible wasn't exactly "rewritten". Many books in it have telltale signs of having been edited, compiled out of several sources or otherwise expanded/redacted (Jeremiah can be divided into 2 or even 3 distinct sections, to give one example out of many). But that applies mostly to the Old Testament. In the New Testament (putting the Synoptic Problem aside), the primary way in which it was altered was through the inclusion or exclusion of specific works. NT canon was only settled once a basic theology for Christianity was settled, so it contains only books that confirm to that theology or actively contradict competing theologies.

 

[Inafune Fanfiction]

Its also interesting how Israel was not in the bible until after 1945 when they were trying to find a place to put all the displaced jews. Then just added in that its their """right""" to have a ethno state of their own in the land of Canaan and displace the locals there, which had been retconned to mean Israel.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

Don't think I posted Mormon Satan here?

Mormon Satan is a wonderful tragic figure. In the Mormon version of things, we all were in premortal existence children of God and his wife (the wife being a concept that appears real early on when Judaism was still pagan). Literal children, like gender is a metaphysical quality of the soul and sexual reproduction (of some sort) of souls produces new souls.

God wanted to train up everyone to become new Gods, but not to force anyone to do anything. So his children came up with proposals for how the world should work. Jesus had the idea of giving everyone free will. Satan had the idea of taking away free will so no one could make mistakes. Everyone votes on it and Jesus' idea wins, but Satan gets so assblasted about it that he launches a rebellion (with about a third of the souls on his side), loses, and then gets cast out into Mega-Hell, which isn't fire and brimstone (Mormons really have no concept of that) but is basically just eternal time-out. He and his followers then get so pissy that they turn their energies towards trying to drag other people into Mega-Hell (Outer Darkness) out of spite for what they (the good afterlife) will never get to experience now.

What I love about it is that Satan has completely rational and human motivations and responses. I'm automatically more sympathetic to his position than to Jesus'. He wants the best outcome for everyone, and when he feels they're making a mistake is willing to fight for it, but in the bitterness of defeat takes out his anger on the world. It's beautiful tragedy. I also like the old Jewish version of Satan as God's public prosecutor, and Islam's Satan as an arrogant bugger that refused to submit to his rightful place, but all three of these interpretations I find more interesting than the mainsteam pop Christianity version of Satan as EVIL God.

 

[Mexican_Wizard_711]

Keep in mind, Mythic Villains are Villains. Basically don't like the time don't do the crime

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Kronos, you know why?

*points Zeus* His kid deserved to get aborted if only because Zeus grew up to be a Furry Rapist.

 

[Mnutu]

I don't remember where I heard it but because the bible was rewritten so many times the writers kept making Judas Iscariot eviler while appearantly big J and him talked and discussed a lot about how true divinity is within and the body is just a vessel and it is set free upon death or something, just two bros having the 3AM deep talks.

And even if that was all BS Judas killed himself after returning the 30 silver (which also was added in later editions of the bible so who knows) so he did feel either immense guilt or grief over losing his friend Jesus

In addition, Judas is seen as bad not because he betrayed Christ. Peter denied him three times and all the other disciples dipped out too. Judas’ unforgivable sin was his despair and suicide. His deceit and betrayal could very well have been forgivable. Tragic more than evil.

 

[DespotCTM]

In addition, Judas is seen as bad not because he betrayed Christ. Peter denied him three times and all the other disciples dipped out too. Judas’ unforgivable sin was his despair and suicide. His deceit and betrayal could very well have been forgivable. Tragic more than evil.

Sense of morality/good/evil was also different in those times, some heroes would be terrible people nowadays and some terrible people then could be considered no that terrible nowadays, shits weird that way