Barb's Birthday

[CatParty]

You can tell her age by the rings in the holey buttocks.

 

[Coldgrip]

Happy birthday barb! You didn't die in the hoard this year. Congrats

There's still two months left... ]P

 

[Thetan]

Happy Still Technically Living Day, Barb. Sorry Chris forgot.

How nice. Not even so much as one of those basically empty "Happy Birthday" messages on his timeline. Nice to know that he's got his priorities in order. His creepy stalker obsession and hatred of Megan are all-consuming. Kengel had it right. Fatty is evolving from a lol cow to a scary cow, or a psycho cow.... or.... you get the idea. It's late, and my wordsmithing abilities aren't at their best. Maybe someone else could take a crack at coining a new term.

 

[CWCissey]

Happy Still Technically Living Day, Barb. Sorry Chris forgot.

How nice. Not even so much as one of those basically empty "Happy Birthday" messages on his timeline. Nice to know that he's got his priorities in order. His creepy stalker obsession and hatred of Megan are all-consuming. Kengel had it right. Fatty is evolving from a lol cow to a scary cow, or a psycho cow.... or.... you get the idea. It's late, and my wordsmithing abilities aren't at their best. Maybe someone else could take a crack at coining a new term.

FUBAR-vine

 

[A-№1]

[
Old people don't like being reminded of their birthdays, though.

Up until a point. Once they hit 80-90 or so a birthday starts being an accomplishment again to be cherished.

And surviving the hoard for another year is an accomplishment too, so who knows how Barb feels about it.

Of course do we really know for sure Chris did nothing for Barb's birthday just because he hasn't mentioned it on facebook? Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

 

[Thetan]

Why don't we all chip in and get her a nice belated birthday present.

Skip to 7:20

[youtube]trZirxpxhs4[/youtube]

 

[MysticMisty]

Maybe Chris has been so angry because Barb yelled at him for forgetting her birthday, and now he's taking it out on Megan.

That is actually a very good theory there.

I suspect that Chris couldn't even remember Bob's birthday's without being reminded. Hence his gifts of candy from the local pharmacy.

Then again, it's Barb. She could have reminded Chris herself personally first thing in the morning, and then demanded he go and bring back everything on the list she just handed him.

 

[GFYS]

Honestly, Barb's life seems just as listless as Chris. I can see her forgetting as well. Time and date become irrelevant, when your life no longer has meaning or purpose. She probably just sits there, snoozing throughout the day. She only wakes to shit herself, complain, stuff sandwiches and soda down her face anus, watch the moving pictures on the TV box, yell at Chris, and nod back off. I think every second of every minute of every hour of every day must seem the same to them, by now.

 

[Mourning Dove]

Happy birthday, Barb. Without you and your god-awful reproduction and parenting abilities, we would not have this ongoing trainwreck named Christian Weston Chandler to gander over.

 

[CatParty]

I live the dichotomy of barb threads and bob threads.

 

[Mourning Dove]

I live the dichotomy of barb threads and bob threads.

Well if Bob and Barb slept/lived in two different rooms during Bob's twilight years, they may as well have their own separate threads as well when Bob's in the afterlife, yes?

 

[Anchuent Christory]

It's amazing how Chris can recall any imagined slight or injustice inflicted on him from any point in his life, yet forgets his own mother's birthday.

Dat selective autism.....

 

[Pikonic]

Happy Birthday Barb. I'm glad Chris acknowledged your big day and not obsess over Megan...oh wait

 

[CatParty]

I live the dichotomy of barb threads and bob threads.

Well if Bob and Barb slept/lived in two different rooms during Bob's twilight years, they may as well have their own separate threads as well when Bob's in the afterlife, yes?

I meant when some thread comes up about bob, we tend to have a bit more sympathy while a thread about barb becomes a snarkfest.

 

[pickleniggo]

Happy belated birthday to the shittiest mother there is. Literally.

 

[BillRiley]

I live the dichotomy of barb threads and bob threads.

Well if Bob and Barb slept/lived in two different rooms during Bob's twilight years, they may as well have their own separate threads as well when Bob's in the afterlife, yes?

I meant when some thread comes up about bob, we tend to have a bit more sympathy while a thread about barb becomes a snarkfest.

I guess it has to do with the mythology that's grown up around Chri­s-Chan's home life. You see, Bob is a noble war hero who did his best to raise Chris with traditional American values and stern fatherly concern for his poor autistic spawn while at the same time revolutionizing the plastics industry as a wildly successful engineer and UN supporter. Meanwhile, Barb is a coddling smothering mommy who incestuously wants to hoard Chris for herself and not let him make funny YouTube videos and gawd-awful comics for us to laugh at.

At least, that seems to be the consensus.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Bob was proactive. Stupidly proactive, but proactive nonetheless. Barb is just a bitch who spreads misery. She's an insane old idiot who treats her mentally retarded son like a pet that can get food.

 

[Henry Bemis]

Barb is just a bitch who spreads misery.

Makes you wonder what her parents were like.

 

[Mourning Dove]

I meant when some thread comes up about bob, we tend to have a bit more sympathy while a thread about barb becomes a snarkfest.

That, too.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Barb is just a bitch who spreads misery.

Makes you wonder what her parents were like.

If memory serves, a womanizing alcoholic and a child bride.