Sludgeholden
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2024
You have a 2 choices. Poor you, because both choices are shit.
Your first choice, The Sonichu Amulet:
This should not need any introduction, but I will give it nonetheless; The Sonichu Amulet is an item in lolcow lure that is borderline mythological due to it's history as being the (not so) prized anal toy and (actually) prized neckwear of Chris Chan, one of the most well-known lolcows on the internet, and likely one of the most documented people in history. From it's owner appearing on local news due to winning a sweepstakes to having a segmented documentary longer than LOTR by an massive margin, this amulet is just as about as synonymous with the concentrated autism superior formula that when mixed with poor parenting, unrestricted internet access, and a lack of actual media literacy creates of both the most pathetic and complex figures to every have put their hand on a computer mouse. It's made of crayola model magic and acrylic paint in the image of what would literally define a grown ass man for the rest of his life up to this point. Anybody who lurks the farms often know of the... consistant nature who attempt to replicate the use of this amulet for neckwear. I'm not even going to try to count the tards who have attempted to clout chase by replicating the chis-chan curse even fake etsy copies of the amulet create. They are numerous, and their effects are that of greek tragedies.
Your second choice, A normal Beherit
As somebody who was gotten into beserk over the past couple years, I can attest to this one being more on the literal eldrich side of horror. A Beherit is, for a lack of better way to put it, a conduit of evil from the darkest depths of the astral world, The Abyss. The Beherit is sent out by a malice-filled quinumvirate called "The god-hand" as almost a conduit of fate and destiny, passing from one hand to another until it finds the owner the godhand has ordained. Despite their names, the godhand are not actual gods. They cannot expediate or be perfectly sure how it will fall into the lap of the owner they want. Now, what does a Beherit do? It's a second chance for a sacrifice. They are the primary way in the world of berserk that powerful apostles are created, with the crimson beherits being able to make one a member of the godhand. If the owner currently is in possession of it and is nearing death or is in great despair, the Beherit will activate. It's eyes will open and spout blood, and let out a floor-low cry. You will be given to the godhand's domain and they will offer you a choice; your humanity and something (in particular, someone) extremely dear to you for another chance at life or to mend what has brought you great despair.
I really can't give much more without spoiling the series, and making this any less easy on the eyes to read. Now, to the rules.
RULES:
You are walking down wherever the fuck, and you see whatever you choose as a necklace. whatever choice you make, you will put it on and not be able to take it off for an alloted time. For the medallion, it will be three years. For the Beherit, only one year.
You must wear it no matter what, sleeping, showering, screwing, no matter what.
You can hide it under clothes.
You can fashion them onto an armband or ankle bracelet, it just cant leave your body.
Chis-chan does not exist in this hypothetical. Consider it earth C1-Bobandbarbgotchrishisjillyjuiceforhisautism.
No, you don't get the Crimson Beherit. Sorry.
REWARDS:
The reward for going the allotted time with these hell necklaces are that you get all of whatever the fuck chrischan has spergedly shat out onto his comics and the lore around it. Keys to a literal CWCville? It's yours. Those lanky-kong armed things that play basketball? Become their manager and show the NBA what a real NIG-HOG can do! The Straw with the opening the size of an arizona ice tea can? It's yours, my friend, you just gotta survive! Any and everything. You'll basically be whatever chris thinks a god can be, which is a fucking lot.
Explain to us which one, why, how'll survive, and what you'll take from the sonichu lore if you'll win.
Your first choice, The Sonichu Amulet:
This should not need any introduction, but I will give it nonetheless; The Sonichu Amulet is an item in lolcow lure that is borderline mythological due to it's history as being the (not so) prized anal toy and (actually) prized neckwear of Chris Chan, one of the most well-known lolcows on the internet, and likely one of the most documented people in history. From it's owner appearing on local news due to winning a sweepstakes to having a segmented documentary longer than LOTR by an massive margin, this amulet is just as about as synonymous with the concentrated autism superior formula that when mixed with poor parenting, unrestricted internet access, and a lack of actual media literacy creates of both the most pathetic and complex figures to every have put their hand on a computer mouse. It's made of crayola model magic and acrylic paint in the image of what would literally define a grown ass man for the rest of his life up to this point. Anybody who lurks the farms often know of the... consistant nature who attempt to replicate the use of this amulet for neckwear. I'm not even going to try to count the tards who have attempted to clout chase by replicating the chis-chan curse even fake etsy copies of the amulet create. They are numerous, and their effects are that of greek tragedies.
Your second choice, A normal Beherit
As somebody who was gotten into beserk over the past couple years, I can attest to this one being more on the literal eldrich side of horror. A Beherit is, for a lack of better way to put it, a conduit of evil from the darkest depths of the astral world, The Abyss. The Beherit is sent out by a malice-filled quinumvirate called "The god-hand" as almost a conduit of fate and destiny, passing from one hand to another until it finds the owner the godhand has ordained. Despite their names, the godhand are not actual gods. They cannot expediate or be perfectly sure how it will fall into the lap of the owner they want. Now, what does a Beherit do? It's a second chance for a sacrifice. They are the primary way in the world of berserk that powerful apostles are created, with the crimson beherits being able to make one a member of the godhand. If the owner currently is in possession of it and is nearing death or is in great despair, the Beherit will activate. It's eyes will open and spout blood, and let out a floor-low cry. You will be given to the godhand's domain and they will offer you a choice; your humanity and something (in particular, someone) extremely dear to you for another chance at life or to mend what has brought you great despair.
I really can't give much more without spoiling the series, and making this any less easy on the eyes to read. Now, to the rules.
RULES:
You are walking down wherever the fuck, and you see whatever you choose as a necklace. whatever choice you make, you will put it on and not be able to take it off for an alloted time. For the medallion, it will be three years. For the Beherit, only one year.
You must wear it no matter what, sleeping, showering, screwing, no matter what.
You can hide it under clothes.
You can fashion them onto an armband or ankle bracelet, it just cant leave your body.
Chis-chan does not exist in this hypothetical. Consider it earth C1-Bobandbarbgotchrishisjillyjuiceforhisautism.
No, you don't get the Crimson Beherit. Sorry.
REWARDS:
The reward for going the allotted time with these hell necklaces are that you get all of whatever the fuck chrischan has spergedly shat out onto his comics and the lore around it. Keys to a literal CWCville? It's yours. Those lanky-kong armed things that play basketball? Become their manager and show the NBA what a real NIG-HOG can do! The Straw with the opening the size of an arizona ice tea can? It's yours, my friend, you just gotta survive! Any and everything. You'll basically be whatever chris thinks a god can be, which is a fucking lot.
Explain to us which one, why, how'll survive, and what you'll take from the sonichu lore if you'll win.
