Careercow Ben Collins / Benjamin Thomas Collins / @oneunderscore__ - Journo Scum

[TV's Adam West]

we will never see The Grabbler again.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Wasn't the Onion falling apart already? I guess I'll sit and wait to laugh at Ben slamming the last nail in it's coffin.

 

[Vect]

He's "sharing the wealth". So it's a comedy commune now?

Be very interesting to see the satirical takes allowed from a man who needs a crucifix and holy water just to access Twitter.

 

[Mister Mint]

This is honestly the best outcome possible.
The Onion has already been sucking for years, now it will simply continue to suck but also slowly make Ben Collins broke as it shows over time what a horrible investment it was.

 

[Burd Turglar]

I remember like 15 or so years ago, living in Denver and reading free copies of the Onion out of a box on a street and it was pretty fucking hilarious. The good news here is that this dumb cunt couldn't possibly make the Onion any more shit tier than it already is these days.

Right?



RIGHT?!!

 

[AirdropShitposts]

This is honestly the best outcome possible.
The Onion has already been sucking for years, now it will simply continue to suck but also slowly make Ben Collins broke as it shows over time what a horrible investment it was.

I doubt Ben has any capital to invest in anything, let alone to make a purchase like this.

 

[Drama Fan]

The only funny thing the Onion still does is the Kelly cartoons, so I assume he's going to be the first on the chopping block.

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

If you're going to get a job at a comedy newspaper, shouldn't you be funny? The only joke Ben Collins has is being Ben Collins and that's about as funny as a box of puppies sitting in the rain.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Can someone light the bat signal for Katie Herzog and Jesse Singal so I know how to respond?

 

[Mizafuginmike]

So Ben is some kind of rich trust fund kid?

 

[Artificial Stupidity]

I look forward to rename from the onion to the soybean

 

[Troonos]

The Onion already couldn't compete with Babylon Bee. Now it might as well stop calling itself satire with this joyless faggot in charge.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

My prediction is the new ownership will drive The Onion into bankruptcy. The reason why they continue to exist is because they basically shut down video production as it costs a lot of money and obviously wasn't giving great returns. Ben said they're bringing ONN back aka more videos aka more expenses. Can't wait to see how long it takes to torpedo the company.

 

[Something Awful]

My prediction was that Ben would just make some kind of Substack as an independent disinformation warrior, but this is actually kind of brilliant and makes perfect sense. Ben is the exact kind of person who thinks The Onion is funny.



Nice site, retard.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

After failing to make money off of funding a Canadian child groomer troon, Benji is going to make all his money back by funding The Onion.

The man who couldn't make a joke to save his life, is going to save comedy. No, really, I believe it. Totally. This was a wonderful investment. I JUST CAN'T SEE ANY WAY THIS COULD FLOP...

 

[Super-Chevy454]

If Ben fails to save the Onion, will he sell it to Elon Musk?

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

Holy hell what a way to die. Used to get the actual paper version. Nothing lasts forever.

...I know it's been dead for years at this point but it's like you hearing a childhood friend finally overdosed or something

 

[AirdropShitposts]

 

[BrainSand63]

This was always my favorite Onion article:
https://www.theonion.com/humanity-still-producing-new-art-as-though-megadeth-s-1819578062

The Onion hasn’t written fun things like this in years, so I’m guessing that will only continue to get worse under Benny and his gaggle of retards.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

View attachment 5941823View attachment 5941824

Federal crimes. Huh. Well, that’s an interesting way to do satire.