Careercow Ben Collins / Benjamin Thomas Collins / @oneunderscore__ - Journo Scum

[AnOminous]

Except this is a funny sketch that used the bad humor to build up to the cheesy punchline. Ben's humor, on the other hand, is building up to nothing, and there's no punchline.

The only punchline that needs Ben in it is the one at Jonestown.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

The only punchline that needs Ben in it is the one at Jonestown.

When even yout critics are funnier than you. Damn, Ben is pathetic

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

I assume he's moving to Chicago or wherever Onion HQ is.

Hopefully he's easier to dox there.

 

[Plum Smuggler]

Saw this from a former CNN contributor.

 

[Plum Smuggler]

Ben has got the Onion firing on all cylinders. It's Mother's Day in the US BTW.

I'll save you a click.

PEORIA, IL—While celebrating Mother’s Day today, local woman and mother of two Ellen Taylor, 38, was reportedly served breakfast in bed by her children mere minutes after being voraciously eaten out by her husband. “Ooh, what a treat!” said Taylor while receiving a tray of scrambled eggs, pancakes, and orange juice, sitting up on the same damp sheets upon which she had moments earlier moaned in pleasure as her husband’s firm tongue rapidly contorted in and around her slick vagina. “Strawberry pancakes! My favorite!” Upon finishing her Mother’s Day breakfast, Taylor reportedly urged her children to go downstairs and “let Mommy sleep a little longer.”

 

[Flexo]

Ben has got the Onion firing on all cylinders. It's Mother's Day in the US BTW.
View attachment 5982555
I'll save you a click.

Where is our cringe rating, Null?

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Ben has got the Onion firing on all cylinders. It's Mother's Day in the US BTW.
View attachment 5982555
I'll save you a click.

Come on, that's a classic.

I'll shit on Ben Collins all day every day, but this is actually a good article so I'm sure he had nothing to do with it and was probably opposed.

His fantasy is probably to watch his wife's boyfriend eat her out followed by her suspiciously tan kids parading into the room with breakfast for her while he cryfaps in the bathroom.

Ben Collins: Working the cuck beat for The Onion. Write what you know, or at least what you've spend a lot of time thinking about.

 

[Al from Dadeville]

They’ve been posting that Mother’s Day thing every year for well over 10 years

 

[Temperance]

https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2024/05/01/the-onion-ceo-ben-collins

• 0:37 - Interviewer: Ben... here you are, someone who ferreted out disinformation on a news network. What are doing on a site [The Onion] that maybe could spread it?
  • Ben: Yeah, I mean... look. My first instinct is to say, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
• 4:17 - Ben: Disinformation won. There's no other way to put it. Elon Musk sort of won the pipeline war with Twitter, and then he turned it into a weird, spammy bot website where lies and conspiracy theories won out. Disinformation won.
• 5:39 - Ben: They [The Onion] have been the best truth-tellers of my life.

---

Over on Threads:

Then I went to check his Twitter:

Elon Musk has mentally buck-broken this man.

---

In case you were wondering (lol no), Ben Collins is most active on Bluesky these days: https://bsky.app/profile/bencollins.bsky.social

I get the feeling this will age like milk.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Turns out the whole Keffals story was DISINFORMATION.

Be nice if this one issued an apology.

Be even nicer if Frank Figliuzzi did. I lost all respect for Frank over that. Spewing inaccurate bullshit all over the TV in an effort to restrict free speech is a bad look for a former FBI agent.

I never had any respect for Ben in the first place.

 

[Moosebonker]

The Onion lost its sense of humour down the back of the couch ages ago. Ben will not improve this situation.

 

[Rudolf's Friend]

Ben is now paying dirt rags to shill his ownership of the company.

https://www.threads.net/@oneunderscore__/post/C7KDO5AAF11

 

[AnOminous]

Ben is now paying dirt rags to shill his ownership of the company.

https://www.threads.net/@oneunderscore__/post/C7KDO5AAF11

View attachment 6006377

Imagine this thin-skinned humorless faggot thinking he has any business whatsoever running The Onion. I mean even in its current sad state it can only get worse with this worm.

 

[Not Dr. Evil]

 

[General Emílio Médici]

Big Al crossover.

Doesn't James O'Keefe continued existence prove his point wrong though? Also didn't you faggot use the same sort of army of lawyers when it helps your side?

 

[AirdropShitposts]

View attachment 6021256

1. Who does Ben think owns most media companies exactly? Including the one he now runs?
2. Does Ben think nobody should be able to sue open political operatives who target others for any reason at all? That political groups should be able to just post anything they want without being sued for defamation?

 

[Temperance]

Lol, what a baby:
https://bsky.app/profile/bencollins.bsky.social/post/3kt6s5lwapc23



I think he's talking about this:
https://x.com/oneunderscore__/status/1793692699549417846


In response, someone advised Ben to get help with his low-T problem:

 

[Useful_Mistake]

>Someone makes fun of you
>go into a fight-or-flight mode

God damn, what a pathetic faggot

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Lol, what a baby:
https://bsky.app/profile/bencollins.bsky.social/post/3kt6s5lwapc23

Ben, as your non-Freudian/Lacanian therapist, let's talk about projecting current psychological problems.

Also, has he considered really showing Elon who's boss by pulling all The Onion accounts from Twitter?

 

[Something Awful]

Not doing great, Ben. I think what you need to do to turn this ship around is add more cutting edge jokes about how Trump pooped his pants.