I can't entirely agree on the Netherlands, as it only meets some of those requirements halfway. And housing is already so fucked up, you would have to get used to sleeping in a cardboard box next to starving college students, Syrian refugees and moroccans.
I'd argue go to Belgium and get their monthly tugboat because it pays out and Wallonia straight up don't give a fuck.
1) Not required to learn the language or customs or get a job
Yes and no. Roughly 90% of the country are fluent in English, so you can get around pretty well without learning the language. Zelfs de Nederlanders willen geen Nederlands spreken. However, my understanding is that you are required to have an employment contract before a temporary residency permit is approved; and in the case of a permanent residency permit - barring special circumstances - you must obtain a civic integration diploma showing you can communicate in the Dutch language.
2) Anti-tranny, won't throw you out for hate speech
Yeah, kinda. Behind closed doors do whatever the fuck you want, but in public? Doe normaal, kankerlijer! And if you lean alt-right, good news - the Netherlands have their very own Donald Trump, Geert Wilders. You can basically enjoy the social benefits of a fairly liberal and progressive government and openly hate on immigrants, refugees and LOLcows without damaging your reputation.
3) High obesity rate
Not really. 2019 estimates of the Netherlands claim a 15% obesity rate in adults 20 and older, which is surprising considering the standard work lunch is literally an entire loaf of bread or block of cheese by itself and traditional snacks are fried balls of fat and french fries drowned in mayonnaise. Then again, would you really like raw herring and onions so much that you would get fat on it?
