These were better when they were circular. They still weren't pizza, but some crispy almost cracker like thing covered in vaguely pizza-like ingredients. I like how they're called Party Pizzas when they are obviously a sad dinner for a lonely dude.
As kids mom would load up the freezer with a dozen and slowly over a few months we'd go through them. Your description tracks, they did manage to get the crust pretty good mouth feel with the crunch. The rest of them however were just trash tier processed cheese and whatever meat you got. We'd always spice them up with something else, bbq pork was a pretty good add.
