Best way to torture Chris Chan

[Lucky Leaping Lizard]

Pin him down and record his screams.

 

[Mexican Molotov Marauder]

Honestly, where he is right now and where he is headed is the worst torture for Chris possible. Imagine it: firmly removed from his comfort zone, stuck in an unfamiliar place without his toys and vidya, having to deal with people who don't put up with his shit and his delusional pretend world constantly under assault by reality. Chris is a massive sped and a narc to top it, denying him whatever he wants is the worst insult to him.

edit: i can't spell

 

[IKOL]

Sonichu got Uganda-fied, like Knuckles.

 

[MG-34]

Hire a Megan lookalike to have hardcore sex with Cylde Cash lookalike in a two way mirror forcing Chirs to watch. Tell the lookalike to call out to Chirs with cruel insults about his duck. If he gets a boner during the ordeal a woman who looks like Mary Lee Walsh dry stuns him with a Tazer. He's so distorted from reality he may just think the actors are the real people.

 

[MG-34]

Have the newest lego sets so close that Chris can almost get it, but he never is able to grab it. Same with mlp crap.

How about putting those gatcha claw machines in his cell with lego and MLP sets that are rigged to never win and can only be attempted once an hour? Maybe a loud chime plays when it resets so it wakes him up and gets sleep deprived and urged to get up off his cot only to fail every time?

 

[ColtWalker1847]

Let him be himself.

And unshielded from the consequences of his actions.

make him get a job

This is about torturing Chris not tormenting other people. Some people do negative work and make the jobsite worse. Chris would be one of those people.

 

[An Ghost]

Wear a pickle suit and fuck barb while shouting Julaaaaaay

 

[Coelacanth]

Have Chris put in one of those soundproof rooms with tinted glass so he can see outside but nobody can see inside. Make sure he's strapped to a chair he can't break free from. Drop the key that unlatches the cuffs just out of his reach.

Then hold an event right outside the window auctioning off Chris's toys and games as he watches in horror. Bonus points if you're raising money to help fund the police services for the amount of shit they've had to go with Chris's case!

 

[NynchLiggers]

Draw his characters with a better artstyle, no amount of physical torture will make him as angry.

 

[Troonos]

Every prison meal is a tray of pickles.

Then drop his toys one at a time into a barrel of acetone.

Next, build a giant boulder from all his Lego and make him push it up an increasingly steep hill. As he nears the top, it rolls back and crushes him. After multiple surgeries, he's back on his feet to push the Lego boulder up the same hill. Repeat for eternity.

Finally, give him daily testosterone injections to revert him into a dang dirty male. Inject his duck with silicone so his unwanted body part becomes more prominent than ever.

 

[WeWuzFinns]

rape him in the same way he raped his mom

wait for him to get geriatric and then strike

 

[Dr George Whitebread]

He has to go to a mandatory gay male support group as part of his sentencing, where the idea is they try and make him come to terms with being a homosexual male.

He gets promised a Playstation in prison on the condition all he gets for it is Sonic Boom. Any arguments means no Playstation.

Sell his toys at prison auction. One by one. Make him attend.

His life is about material possessions so simply doing things to him won't make him work. He was more worried about his toys than anything. So you have to strike it where it hurts. He'd rather be felt up in prison than lose a single Skylander.

 

[Crass_and_Champ]

After an epic battle, use your powers to trap him in the Dark Mirror Hole...
...then encourage prisoners of color to pozload HIS dark mirror hole.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Make Barb say that Bob was better and show it to him.

 

[KittyGremlin]

make him get a job

And unshielded from the consequences of his actions.

This is about torturing Chris not tormenting other people. Some people do negative work and make the jobsite worse. Chris would be one of those people.

human race deserves this for unleashing him upon the universe

 

[Akashic Retard]

The rack!

 

[Gender: Xenomorph]

Hack his account and post stupid shit.

Imagine him seething when he finally gets a prison phone and sees that his PW no longer work and his account is posting anti-troony pro-trump propaganda.

 

[Spiral Architect]

cure his autism and give him self awareness

Holy shit, you are a sick bastard. This is beyond cruel.

 

[A Dumb Demon]

Giving him zero attention and letting him rot alone and forgotten. No one to satiate his retarded godhood delusion or blame for his failures in life.

 

[Smug Chuckler]

Have someone impersonate Sonic, have him wear white gloves and paint his arms blue, have him throw pickles at him through the jail door without showing his face when it's meal time.