Biggest bullshit in a video game

[Dumpster dived waifu]

The tetra master card game in Final Fantasy IX. It's a 4x4 grid game where each card has arrows on some of the 8 sides and corners, as well as its own attack and defence stats. Except it never explains the rules, some of the tiles are greyed out which you can't see before you start so usually end up selecting useless cards, you always have to go first and there's rng when the cards battle eachother. So basically, it makes up the rules as it goes along and you lose.

If for some reason Tetra Master is still your thing, the game actively fucks that up and makes completion impossible. There's a maximum amount of cards you can own, and if you exceed it you have to throw cards away. You can't even get 1 of everything.

 

[Meat Target]

PC Games that still use arrow keys for movement instead of WASD (common in games made in RPGMaker). I see no reason for this primitive idiocy other than maybe Commodore 64 nostalgia.

 

[M3xus]

This isn't something in games themselves, but GameFAQs's fall from relevance has made finding info on games more of a crapshoot.

When I want to know, say, the unlock requirements for a plane in the older Ace Combats, I just have to go to GameFAQs, look up the game, and the walkthrough/unlock guide will be there in plain text for me to simply ctrl + F to where I want to go.

When I'm looking for the route to a specific flower in a very out-of-the-way place in Nier: Automata, I trawled two wikis that only showed me where it was, not how to get there, a video on Youtube that did the same thing, and eventually wound up sifting through a video guide to the sidequests to find the obscure route Platinum wanted me to take. I wouldn't mind the Youtube stuff much, except now my video recommendations are full of autistic story and character analyses, recaps for the non-nerds that didn't read Grimoire Nier or saw the stage play, and some contrarian basement dwelling muppet saying the game is actually bad and everyone's just wowed by the presentation.

All I wanted to know was how to get to the stupid flower.

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

This isn't something in games themselves, but GameFAQs's fall from relevance has made finding info on games more of a crapshoot.

When I want to know, say, the unlock requirements for a plane in the older Ace Combats, I just have to go to GameFAQs, look up the game, and the walkthrough/unlock guide will be there in plain text for me to simply ctrl + F to where I want to go.

When I'm looking for the route to a specific flower in a very out-of-the-way place in Nier: Automata, I trawled two wikis that only showed me where it was, not how to get there, a video on Youtube that did the same thing, and eventually wound up sifting through a video guide to the sidequests to find the obscure route Platinum wanted me to take. I wouldn't mind the Youtube stuff much, except now my video recommendations are full of autistic story and character analyses, recaps for the non-nerds that didn't read Grimoire Nier or saw the stage play, and some contrarian basement dwelling muppet saying the game is actually bad and everyone's just wowed by the presentation.

All I wanted to know was how to get to the stupid flower.

Or in the video guide it cuts to them standing exactly at the the object, but they don't fucking open the map, they just fully expect you to know where it is based entirely on the background.

 

[Overcast]

The tetra master card game in Final Fantasy IX. It's a 4x4 grid game where each card has arrows on some of the 8 sides and corners, as well as its own attack and defence stats. Except it never explains the rules, some of the tiles are greyed out which you can't see before you start so usually end up selecting useless cards, you always have to go first and there's rng when the cards battle eachother. So basically, it makes up the rules as it goes along and you lose.

Technically, there is an explanation of the intricacies of the rules. But it’s on a sign on the backend of the shop in Dali. And even then there’s an element of randomness to it.

Absolutely adore IX, and even though I don’t mind it too much, I can’t deny the card game had issues.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Technically, there is an explanation of the intricacies of the rules. But it’s on a sign on the backend of the shop in Dali. And even then there’s an element of randomness to it.

Absolutely adore IX, and even though I don’t mind it too much, I can’t deny the card game had issues.

I did look up a few guides but it looks far too complex for what it is, so I just did enough to get the achievement for 10 wins and call it quits.

But that aside, yes it's a great game. I'm only just getting round to playing it for the first time and it has bags of charm, although seems to be a bit of a forgotten entry today.

 

[Overcast]

I did look up a few guides but it looks far too complex for what it is, so I just did enough to get the achievement for 10 wins and call it quits.

But that aside, yes it's a great game. I'm only just getting round to playing it for the first time and it has bags of charm, although seems to be a bit of a forgotten entry today.

I feel it got a relatively big resurgence in terms of popularity over the past ten years. Not on the levels of VII and maybe VI, but more and more people are discovering it after overlooking it.

 

[Dark Edea]

Dynasty Warriors. The game where you kill legions of Chinamen and sometimes Nipponese and sometimes Hylians and mechs single handedly. Unless the game decides to stop spawning enemies for SOME REASON. It is infuriating. All their games do this. You would think by the time we got to the PS3 that they could load more enemies to kill. But no, even on a PC the fucking game is programmed like it is trying to keep a PS1 from going critical.

Absolute heresy.

 

[66andtwothirds]

spongebob ball room puzzle took me longer than i would like to admit

some of the collecting in DK64 can get really boring/time consuming.

certain OP guns and characters in multiplayer games (the FAMAS and UMP in call of duty , Fox and Meta Knight in SSB)

 

[The Last Stand]

This is a general thing with the gaming industry. Not necessarily limited to one game.

Consoles, and games in some capacity, that you have to authenticate to the Internet to serve its intended purpose.

Back in the day, 20 or so years ago, you'd buy a console, unbox it, set it up, plug in controllers, insert the game and play. Simple. Things got a bit complicated with the seventh generation of consoles as Internet became mainstream. For PS3, some games had a mandatory install. Then, some updates to download. BUT, you still could enjoy the console and majority of games with Internet.

Then, the eighth generation of consoles came around. You needed to connect to the Internet to even use the console. And you had to install games from the Blu-Ray drive to play. As games would get bigger with updates, size and DLC, the finite space would fill up.

Microsoft in particular was egregious with the Xbox One. Remember their always online DRM requirement? It was at a point where used physical games would be a thing of the past. You had to stay connected to play any game.

 

[Massively Strong Greed]

spongebob ball room puzzle took me longer than i would like to admit

some of the collecting in DK64 can get really boring/time consuming.

certain OP guns and characters in multiplayer games (the FAMAS and UMP in call of duty , Fox and Meta Knight in SSB)

Speaking of DK64, how the hell do you beat King Kut-Out? It moves so fast when you have to land the final hit. I can’t believe that fucking DSP was able to 100% the game.

 

[Mary the Goldsmith]

Or in the video guide it cuts to them standing exactly at the the object, but they don't fucking open the map, they just fully expect you to know where it is based entirely on the background.

This, I was looking where to solve one of those anomaly puzzles in Ass Creed Valhalla and the 35 minute long video goes like this:
>Hi Guys whazappp bla bla bla bla
>Ok let me show you how to solve this thing
>Stats running in one direction
>Oops my bad thats not how it goes
>Starts running in another direction
>Okay now you have to move this thing
>oops not this way haha
>Stars moving the lasers
>oops I messed up again haha
>video jump cuts to when the puzzle is already solved
>As you can see its super easy remember to like and subscribe
I've had this exact problem with a lot of other games whre the retarded video just shows the completed puzzle and thats it doesn't really show you all the steps to do it

 

[The Last Stand]

This, I was looking where to solve one of those anomaly puzzles in Ass Creed Valhalla and the 35 minute long video goes like this:

That reminds me. Big, open worlds with little to do there. Just bloated land because they can.

 

[Berrakh]

Dark Souls 3 poise?
It's like rolling in Dark Souls 2 where it's just a little too unreliable. It took the most autistic (in the good way) community in gaming over a year after release to figure it out for a reason.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

It may have been brought up already, but in the Civilization games, if another civilization builds a Wonder that your team is still building, you can't finish the second one.

That was irritating enough, but even worse was how later games didn't let you transfer the progress you'd made to a different Wonder, or even to a city improvement.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

even worse was how later games didn't let you transfer the progress you'd made to a different Wonder, or even to a city improvement

wat

And yeah, at least in Civ 2, you could pretty much get a free unit or improvement if you didn't put the production to another Wonder.

(also I still think 2 is the best game in the series)

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

After arcades to modern day it's usually a "losing a life will set you back to the last checkpoint but game over will guarantee you need to go back and do it again because you fucked up BAD." In old games game over would send you back to the fucking start of the game but over the years "game over" has gotten more lenient from just putting you back to the title screen and keeping your progress to just making it so you start at the beginning of a level again. Game over isn't entirely useless YET. Considering the fact features are getting added to games specifically so hackfraud modern day media game journos that clearly hate actually playing video games give it a more positive review, it's almost a guaranteed eventuality that game over will become pointless.

SPEAKING OF WHICH Those kinda features just annoy the absolute shit out of me. There's shit in games where if you die enough times the game tries to make you invulnerable to anything or asks you if you want to skip the level. The most egrigious addition though is the shit being added to rpgs where it wins the game for you. I'm not talking like th e old "auto-run" function that is an ai kinda flopping about in an attempt to win the match for you but 9/10 times will kill you unless you're overleveled I'm talking like just It just does the most efficient and effective way to beat the damn battle FOR YOU and since the entire fucking gameplay is turn based button pushing and character grid placement sometimes it like removes the entirety of the gameplay experience. Fuck anyone who defends the kinda shit like that getting put into games. The fact more nd more games are implementing a "WIN GAME" button in general is just fucking depressing. "Game Journo difficulty" is a very real thing and makes me long for the days when games used to make fun of you for picking the easiest mode.

There's always so much talk about Dark Souls so I apologize, but that system did it right. There was a death, sort of a game over on a console game where you start the stage again. The corpse run was the incentive to make you try to be as good or better than you were last time. It was really brilliant, much like games on the older consoles you were always trying to become better running through stages but in a modern vidya design way.

Yeah, I can get behind that. I used the golden leaf a handful of times in the Mario 3D games just to get through a smattering of levels that just weren't fun. That's the way to do it, just put the game on Funky Mode and let the player navigate the level themselves. Hell, I'll even go so far as to say you should be able to flip that on whenever you want after you beat the level and collected all the stars the normal way, just so you can freely explore and goof off.

It's fun to figure out the most efficient way to beat a level. But when the most efficient way is just an auto-win button, it really does make the game feel pointless. There's nothing to earn, and nothing to win.

Golden Leaf in whatever games they were featured in, that I played, was just a "piss off, entertain me!" powerup. Not all the levels are good.

 

[66andtwothirds]

Speaking of DK64, how the hell do you beat King Kut-Out? It moves so fast when you have to land the final hit. I can’t believe that fucking DSP was able to 100% the game.

dont think i ever got that far lol

 

[Urbanmech]

This is a general thing with the gaming industry. Not necessarily limited to one game.

Consoles, and games in some capacity, that you have to authenticate to the Internet to serve its intended purpose.

Back in the day, 20 or so years ago, you'd buy a console, unbox it, set it up, plug in controllers, insert the game and play. Simple. Things got a bit complicated with the seventh generation of consoles as Internet became mainstream. For PS3, some games had a mandatory install. Then, some updates to download. BUT, you still could enjoy the console and majority of games with Internet.

Then, the eighth generation of consoles came around. You needed to connect to the Internet to even use the console. And you had to install games from the Blu-Ray drive to play. As games would get bigger with updates, size and DLC, the finite space would fill up.

Microsoft in particular was egregious with the Xbox One. Remember their always online DRM requirement? It was at a point where used physical games would be a thing of the past. You had to stay connected to play any game.

well now they just sell versions of the consoles without a disk drive so the only way to get games is to have it connected to the internet.

 

[The Last Stand]

well now they just sell versions of the consoles without a disk drive so the only way to get games is to have it connected to the internet.

The PSPGo tried that. It didn't sell well. Turns out people like having physical media. Especially with Sony's decision to sunset the legacy PlayStation Store.