F--king Tasty Foods Holiday. I'm sure the family will throw some bones down the basement to quell the creepy grunting down there.
TBH I don't think that house even has a basement. However, at least Chris or Sarah did a better job of lacing the turkey this time.
So Bobby is a "fan". Recall how he demands capeshit film-makers not to cater to the audiences, not to "fans"? "
The Gorgeous Mrs. Gigan" is a grossly obese, capeshit obsessed troon which we've met before.
OK, so, if Bob's claims having to have read this shit is true, that's
EVEN WORSE. It means his potato galaxy smoothbrain couldn't properly comprehend that which he consoomed. No wonder the other guy wondered whether Bob actually read that stuff, because it's obvious he either didn't actually read it, or didn't understand it when he did. Comparing Vision to Spock is shallow at best; Spock actually had Human emotions (being half human himself but suppressing them as is the Vulcan way), so the actual closest comparison would be Lt. Commander Data. Silver Surfer is an entirely different ball game because although the original form of the character was Humanoid, they were altered by Galactus. I suppose the closest analogue would be a Herald of Unicron, such as Cyclonus. (Lookit me, outsperging Bob lol)
In the second sentence, if I'm parsing my Bobese correctly, he's basically stating that most people who know one of the Avengers and have heard of Silver Surfer cannot in fact tell the difference between Vision and Silver Surfer, which is supremely retarded because they look nothing alike (and on top of that Vision is a ROBOT, why would you call him 'bald'?!), and yes, that comment is just as retarded as it sounds even without translation from Bobese.
The "So that happened" dialogue reportedly also plagued The Rat's Wish, which we now turn to.
way for bob to miss the fucking point. When the movies of the 80s and 90s did it, they were clearly billed as at least partially COMEDY movies and the audience KNEW it. Bob wants us to take Marvel Movies seriously, or at least seriously enough more than
Big Trouble In Little China or
Lethal Weapon. Capeshit is not generally billed as "comedy". The stakes are supposed to be a bit higher. If they're going to do "buddy cop"/"marvel" dialogue, they should at least run it in trailers to identify it as at least partially comedic (Comedy-Drama) in nature, or the audience gets mood whiplash.
2. He actually thinks comic book movies are stupid, and is happy when characters get radically changed to own the CHUDs. Box office matters to him as a measure of power and influence, but if he could have us all taxed at gunpoint to support Disney he'd actually prefer that. He certainly doesn't want people to enjoy Disney movies.
This shows how much of a hypocrite Bob is, because he'll make predictions for Capeshit movies based on what happened in the comics 20-30 years ago. Soooo, he "knows" what they're going to do, but he DOESN'T want them to do it? Just makes the predictions that a monkey could make just so people can acclaim him for being right, when it's the easiest thing in the world to go back to the well of old print comics for story ideas? Or does he actually want them to do it, but put a girl in it make her gay and make it lame? Bob's cognitive dissonance can be so perplexing!
3. You can tell this, especially from the way he describes characters, "Vision and Silver Surfer are basically the same guy," etc. I can't think of a single Marvel character that I actually believe he actually likes. (I won't pretend I've ever been a true fan of Marvel, but I think I like the (good) characters more than he does.)
Well to be fair, Bob
claimed he
can tell the difference between Silver Surfer and Vision (all while claiming they're both like Spock) because he read all the comics, and he insinuated that people unfamiliar with the comics couldn't tell the difference between Silver Surfer and Vision, which is a
way more retarded statement to make. (Spoiler alert: I read hardly any comics back in the day and you better believe I can tell Vision apart from Silver Surfer. Fortunately I saw Silver Surfer cartoon and Avengers cartoons, especially United They Stand which had a lot of Vision in it).
Bob, it is in fact very easy to make a worse Tomb Raider movie. Hiring a feminist who uses her screenwriting gigs as her own personal therapy sessions that she then subjects the audience to is a great first step towards that end.
doing that shit privately for a diary to cope with one's mental issues is one thing. Doing that shit for a major motion picture for the world to see, is narcissism writ large.
Sure, you can always just turn your brain off and enjoy the flashing colors, but I think even the laziest consoomer would still end up wondering what was going on if they were dropped into The Marvels with zero prior knowledge
I'm beginning to think this is what Bob does when movies are all Michael Bay'ed up (Explosions, seizure-inducing lights flashing, bunch of action). He turns off his brain (granted, there isn't much to turn off) and mostly disregards the story because dopamine hits. Double dopamine hits if there's a woman in it and they made her gay along with another one and they lezz out.
I'm glad Bob was too sick to enjoy Thanksgiving yesterday. Sometimes, bad things really do happen to bad people.
Maybe Lesser Bro sent a care package over via Mama Chipman so that Bob wouldn't miss out on Tasty Foods
Holiday completely.
Double irony if the reason he got strep is from Lesser Bro's kids.
So therefore unless Mama Chipman got sick too, Bob got what he deserved this Thanksgiving - to be miserable and alone in his existence and punishment as Bob Chipman. For he is
The Kwisatz Tarderach, Lard of Lynn, Last of his Line, Masshole Mussolini, Pol Potbelly, Bobby The Smoothbrain
Heenan Chipman, Ba'ab Al-Movie AKA
Sheikh Diabeeto,
Bob the Blue Curtain Builder, the crayon-eating, paste-consooming
Official Blue Curtain Analyst.
