- Joined
- Dec 24, 2014
No, Bob, I will NOT be your Giant Fish Friend. If I had my way, NONE of the giant fish would be your friend. But they probably don't like you anyway.
The difference between "Whedon/MCUesque" quip farming, and Big Trouble In Little China, is the writing in Big Trouble in Little China was VASTLY SUPERIOR. The problem isn't so much the witty repartee, it's how it is inserted and how a scene is overall written around it. Although it has become something of an overused trope, the problem actually is functionally illiterate (like Bob) hack writers more than it is overuse/abuse of snappy comebacks.
Bob, in the depths of his crayon-eating, blue curtain analyzing soul, is a hack. This of course is evident to all that read his nigh-incomprehensible ramblings, be it his tweets on a fucking bender, or his idiot fanfic like Care Bears in Paradise Lost. It is questionable whether he actually understands the words that he is writing, let alone reading. Only with this level of paste consumption would Bob see fit to argue that power scaling doesn't matter because HURR DURR GUUD GUYS MUST WIN. Well, they don't always win, or they often suffer setbacks (see the OG 1990s Beast Wars Cartoon, for instance, which the first couple of seasons was written by Bob Forward and Larry DiTillio of He-man/She-ra fame). Setbacks can be very useful, whether to maintain the status quo to allow the story to build up to something later, or to drive conflict to make a story more interesting.
A prime case (lol) of setback in a story for the good guys is S1 E11 of Beast Wars, The Probe. An unmanned temporal probe sent from Cybertron reaches the planet, but the energon interference is too great for a signal to be sent in the usual way, so the Maximals must construct a tower to send a signal to the probe before it gives up and moves on. Beast Wars Megatron finds out and destroys the tower, leaving the probe to move on without the Maximals on Cybertron finding them there.
I do not know if Bob watched that episode. I do know he's a bit of a Transformers sperg; I have not heard his take on "Geewun"/"TRUCKK VS MUNKY!" or at least not that I can recall. Most of the time power levels in that show ARE important. The fact that Bob thinks ass-pulling is a great idea, just shows that this guy doesn't know how to write, doesn't know how story ackshually works, and like the exceptional crayon-eater he is, he thinks the point of a story is GUUD GUYS WIN. Uh, NO, Bob, that's not the POINT of a story. The point of a story is usually to impart some sort of entertainment and also maybe wisdom or cause a person to, uh, you know, THINK. (this may explain Bob's approach to CONSOOMING media, as it's clear that the Dopamine Rush causes his brain to shut off completely). There's plenty of stories where the good guy does NOT win, or, the Bad Guy does NOT lose. See: various Horror Movies. Which, I'm told, Lesser Brother is WAY into. Also see many OG versions of Fairy Tales. You know how the OG Little Red Riding Hood ends, Bob? THE WOLF ATE HER. THE GOOD GUYS DID NOT WIN. Bob failed to comprehend what was being taught in his creative writing classes or what passed for such in his "Media Studies" courses. He, on a fundamental level, DOES NOT UNDERSTAND LITERATURE. AT ALL.
Bob's usage of the Ewok example was ridiculous. Those walkers being used in RoTJ had very obvious exploitable weaknesses, and the primitive technology of the Ewoks could very well exploit them. Like in The Empire Strikes Back, where Luke uses lines strung from fighters to tie up the 4-legged AT-ATs and disable them. Bob fundamentally misunderstands how defeating works. He's all hung up on "Ass pull BECAUSE GUUD GUYS!" sudden power level changes when what's really going on is the Ewoks, in conjunction with the Rebels, are using BRAINS and CUNNING to defeat the Empire. It's not about "Ewoks win because Plot Says So", it's done in a believable way, and hell, they even lose a few Ewoks over it, because even though GUUD GUYS WIN, of course some Ewoks are going to get killed doing what they're doing. Besides, the Ewoks live in a goddamn FOREST, not the best place for Imperial Walkers and such, it's their home turf/field advantage, and they know the area better than the Troopers do. ALSO, another thing Bob fundamentally either forgot, or didn't catch onto in the first place, is that the Ewoks status as "Good Guys" was in question early on, as they were going to EAT the rebels they captured until C-3PO talked to them and had them believing HE WAS THEIR GOD. It is by stroke of fortune that C-3PO was 1) there and 2) able to communicate with them, that the Ewoks even ended up being part of the Rebel Alliance AT ALL.
Rocky vs Ivan Drago is also a terrible example, because ROCKY TRAINS. He trains HARD to get himself to the level (training montage!) that he needs to be at to defeat Ivan. Bob also doesn't understand that power levels are NOT dependent on SIZE. Given the right circumstances, a smaller guy can beat a bigger guy. (Bob should take note, as he as a large hulk of a man believes himself invincible based on size alone, one day someone at discount Dave & Busters' is going to ring his bell and shatter his hopes and dreams when Bob finally throws shade about MAGAnaiseghoulen Wheelbarrow Wight Trash at the wrong guy.) Rocky vs ANYONE is NOT an un-earned, magical ass-pull of SUDDENLY POWER LEVELS INCREASE OVER 9000, even though Bob tries to give an out of "It's told through storytelling, not a DBZ Scouter" when in reality, what Bob is saying is that it's not told through a DBZ Scouter because Bob ignores what the Scouter says. Because Bob fundamentally doesn't understand how storytelling actually WORKS.
I'm sure there's denominations that believe that playing a video game where what you're doing (Grand theft auto for instance) would be a sin in real life is equivalent to doing the thing in real life. But not all denominations believe that. While the question is one for theologians and philosophers to wade through as to what exactly would constitute a sin in terms of using Steal command in Final Fantasy, or running over people in a stolen car in GTA, Bob is obviously under the impression that all Christian denominations believe that committing sinful acts in GTA is fully equivalent to sinning IRL. Thing is, though, people sin all the time IRL. So whatever they're doing, they should be feeding and clothing the poor anyway, but Bob calling them "sinner" is redundant. It is also 3 fingers pointing back at him because Bob's a sinner too, whether he likes it or not, regardless of the video games he plays or does not play.
If Bob does not think that what's happening to heX-BOXes won't eventually happen to MICROSOFT PCs, he's out of his mind.
I'm assuming the books are being taken out of the library so they can be gone through with a fine-toothed comb to search for pr0n-level inappropriate materials? Bob and his senpais are acting like the books would all be removed from the library FOREVER, and I'm pretty sure that's not the case.
It's too bad the tweet is unavailable, but it's also unfortunate that Bob has a bad habit of cut-off replies in an attempt to save space/look clever. So the context being gone (and bob should have screenshotted, tbh) but all I can say about this is, whatever it is Bob is commenting on, he's probably wrong, and he is the one that needs to touch ALL the grass.
Also, Bob's crowing about Republicans dying of coof, but the problem is, the death rates from covid, and the death rates WITH covid, are two different things. People could die in a car accident, test positive for covid, and they'll fudge it as a "covid-related death". Besides, how do they know each and every person's political affiliation at death? Does the person gasp out, "I'm A REpUbLiCAn and I'M GLad I DIDn't GET ThE JaB!" or "I'm A DEMOCRAT, I GOT VAXXED, BUT OH WELL AM DED ANYWAY!" prior to expiring?
But then again, this is Pol Potbelly, Lard of Lynn, Last of his Line, Kwisatz Tarderach, the crayon-eating, blue curtain analyzing exceptional individual.
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