I'd just like to point out for the record, in Bob's clunky-ass, barely works "parody" of Billy Joel above, "dril won't pay" is referring to Twitter user dril (Wint) refusing to fork over 8 bucks for a blue check. This is the same jackass that Bob keeps retweeting this insane bullshit of:
which makes absolutely NO fucking sense, but fits in with Bob's sensibilities of tactics/targets, so Bob the crayon-eating blue curtain analyst thinks its some fucking profound wisdom, from a guy once doxxed that was discovered to be even younger than Bob.
Aaaaand of course dril is ("Slave to") woke. Of FUCKING COURSE he is.
TL;DW: After a long self-imposed Mario sabbath, Bob has finally come full mask-off to make a 18 minute video shit talking all of the click-baity bitches that dared to use his precious 9/10 Mario Movie as ammo for the culture war. And then for some reason 7 minutes of Bob trying to argue that the Cocaine Bear movie is a "WOKE-aine Bear" movie. I'd definitely recommend watching the video just for that alone.
Warning: This Video (@12:17) Contains a clip from Paul Joseph Watson. View at your own risk.
Second Warning: In this video Moviebob wears an incredibly gaudy Spider-Man polo shirt. View at your own risk.
Why are Bob's eyes all over the place during the parts where you can see his face? Like HOLY SHIT it's like watching tennis, except the ball is Bob's eyes darting back and forth like a fucking ADHD sped. Also he does way too much gesturing and I'm suspicious of people who do that. Probably because a lot of corrupt, lying politicians do it. But I digress.
And of course, Bob misspelled "Alloy" - it's ackshually "Aloy". (Damn You Autocorrect?)
"I'm not an elitist! I don't have enough MONEY!"
BULLSHIT. Bob, being an elitist has nothing to do with how much is in your bank account. Sure, rich people are elitists, but elitism is a state of mind, and does not solely nor even necessarily mean or include a balance sheet blacker than Yaphet Kotto.
And also, to be fair to the "Youtube Grifters", precedent had them thinking that the new Mario movie (sight unseen) would be garbage pandering trash written by people who don't know how to write. So then of course then they were pleasantly surprised that it wasn't what they thought it was going to be. I mean, ask ANY of them - Ryan Kinel, DDayCobra, Nerdrotic, etc - and they'd doubtless tell you that they'd be HAPPY to be wrong about Mario being woke in advance, because this means someone is actually doing their job and they didn't get disappointed as they assumed they would be, after all the other times they were disappointed. Bob does not understand this at all. He's gloating over them being "wrong" as if that's some kind of gotcha.
This bullshit Bob spews about "reactionary" and how "
anti woke youtube grifters can't analyze movies properly" is hypocrisy at its finest. Leftists react to shit all the time. Hell, they react to "traditional values", which were already there, meaning they're reactionary by Bob's crayon-eating definition. The reason the "anti-woke youtube grifters" didn't go after "Cocaine Bear" is very simple: excessive political preaching just wasn't there, apparently. It doesn't matter WHO made the movie. If the movie's not a preachy
in your face poorly-written sermon about Political Topic du Jour/Current Year, it's probably not going to get a lot of flak. But also probably nobody cares, as they're accustomed since at least the mid 80s to movies and TV portraying men as buffoons and women as the only competent gender, why complain about it now? People have been complaining about that for DECADES, it's been done to death, and that's something Bob probably doesn't get, as there's more important things to sperg about, that "Toxic masculinity vs mama bear theme" is so far down on the importance totem pole that it doesn't even register. Bob meanwhile is such a blue curtain analyst that he sees analysis that isn't there, just like the fabled blue curtains which supposedly indicated the author was sad, when in reality, the author just likes blue curtains, and is not sad at all, thank you very much. (Also damn you Bob, I'm starting to channel you and your horrific run-on sentence word salads)
Also, can we take some time to point out to Bob, that while Mario is for kids,
COCAINE BEAR is most certainly
NOT? That's why they don't care about Cocaine Bear in the same sense that they care about Mario. Leaving aside some very negligent parenting, no kid is going to see Cocaine Bear in the theater.
Grown-ass adults who've already mostly formed their political opinions are going to see Cocaine Bear. Nobody cares half as much about movies that are incredibly NOT family-friendly as they do about movies that ARE. For all his 'Big Picture' puffery, this analysis was completely fucking missed by Bob. "
WHY DON'T THEY CARE ABOUT A WOKE MOVIE THAT'S NOT FOR KIDS? HYPOCRITES, FRIENDO!" OF COURSE the "youtube grifters" are going to care about kids' stuff. The stuff that oh I don't know, INFLUENCES KIDS? Yeah, Bob, mr. Expert Blue Curtain Analyst,
way to miss the entire fucking point.
Hell, maybe Critical Drinker will see Bob's video and do an in-depth analysis of Cocaine Bear just for spite.
"
All they do, is wait for someone they hate, to say they like something, in order to hate it" - Bob, projecting harder than an IMAX theater and also who does the reverse, waiting for someone he likes to say they like something, in order for him to like it.
I think in addition to "Moviebob Bingo" we need to start a "Blue Curtain Points" system where we rank Bob's analysis of anything as 1-5 out of 5 Blue Curtains. 1 being least retarded possible take, and 5 being
holy shit the author was sad and a trans lesbian and also doing COCAINE; that's why the curtains were Blue.
GOD HELP ME. BOB, you made me write a fucking ESSAY on your stupid takes on internet stupidity over fucking Mario vs Cocaine Bear and "grifting". "Big Picture"
MY ASS. Hell, maybe i should start a youtube movie critic channel...
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