Bob runs damage control for Hbomberguy.
You may notice that the argument Bob puts forth is not mentioned once by the other guy. Weird. It's like Bob is dumb or something.
Also I lied. Bob isn't defending Hbomb. He's attacking a guy who's pro-Coffin.
Reminder that the other guys don't need to be smart and right (they're not) for Bob to be dumb and wrong (he is)
I saw Bob commented on the Sweet Baby stuff, albeit in a limited way. Has he made any mention of the Nintendo emulators Yuzu and Critra being pulled from the internet due to Nintendo? It seems like something he'd have a strong opinion on (especially since it makes Nintendo look bad) but search turns up nothing.
The most I've seen him talk about it was to post someone's tweet making fun of Sweet Baby and called it *drum roll* targeted harassment. He is such a silly cuck.
06Mar#15
Bobby explains the "Underpants Gnome" reference himself. His followers are unconvinced: Underpant Gnomes (like Bobby) have no logic; Trian Partners diagnose the problem, present their evidence, and propose solutions.
No. No it fucking isn't, you mong. It is not a fucking pop-culture short hand reference that means "trust me bro". You know what it's making fun of? It's making fun of people who do something pointless and stupid and somehow believe they will get paid for it with no thought or understanding of how to get that money. It's like if some halfwit writer put his own masturbation fantasies of a freshly pubescent girl fingering herself to lesbian porn into a show and then doesn't understand why he has to steal kombucha from fucking Netflix because he's not making money from his masturbation fantasies. In fact it's not like that hyper specific example. It is that hyper specific example. He is so bad at everything.
06Mar#14
I have this thing downloaded but it is very long (28 minutes). Tor is the only reliable way to upload videos on KF but Tor is s-l-o-w. I've got to be away now so no, I cannot upload it now.
tl;dr
Bob cries about nobody watching and/or supporting him while blaming everyone else.
The first thing you are greeted with.
followed by
all while a somber version of his Big Picture jazz trumpet plays.
If you watch the first thing you'll notice is that his mic sucks ass. It can be inferred that that's because his PC died on him but that makes no sense because he's put out other
original videos between when his PC died and this allegedly filmed. This means he filmed all of this before he got his audio situation fixed or he decided to just release this shit because he needs new content and has ran out of old content to microwave. You can also see the artifacting from his poor green screen set up.
That's not shading on the buildings.
I tried to verify if this was taken at the same time as the I Love MatPat video but it's not. For one, his hair is actually combed in this, he doesn't have those Wolverine stick ups on the side of his head like in the MatPat vid, and two the audio is soooooooooo bad it's like I'm listening Bob from a decade and a half ago mock Obama for going against Hilary.
The video starts off with him explaining why there were only 3 Schloctober episodes and that's because his PC died, as stated above. He doesn't explain what happened, only that it broke, it "needed to get completely repaired", he needed to replace the hard drive, and there was some data migration that needed to take place. "Really sucked...bit of debt accrued for that...not great." Fade to black and in fades this title card.
He refuses to elaborate further but does come back to say
"At at this point I am *very pregnant pause* you're tired of hearing me talk about...not having uh the the means to...put the shows back together and get plans back together the way that I want to because I've been talking about it since...the middle of the pandemic and coming back from...if you're a follower if you're a patron you know the situation. Things are not going great...getting better, not fast enough, not happy about it...I don't like talking about it you don't like hearing about it. It is what it is when I have more concrete things to say about it I will but I don't like to be a downer about it because...things are worse for more people and that is what it is."
It's all very stream of consciousness and woe is me. Bob has no idea how parasocial relationships works probably because he has more hate watchers than fans. For all the stupid stuff he spouts he does have fans and fans like to know what's going on with the person or thing they're a fan of. Saying that he knows that people are tired of hearing about something or things he has not really addressed, and we should know, is dumb. We have documented people in his comments complaining about the deluge of reheated bullshit. If he were to talk about his own problems to his fans I imagine the actual fans would be very receptive which leads me to a few conclusions:
- He doesn't like what he's doing anymore but cannot do anything else so he has to come up with this weak story for a pitty party.
- He actually is having problems in his life but they are either self inflicted or so asinine that he knows he'd be made fun of if he voiced him.
- He is actually having problems in his life but he is terrified of making himself vulnerable
- He's mad that he's not getting the support he once did and he's trying to guilt people back into his patreon.
Whatever the reason is, it all comes off as Bob being the most manipulative bitch he possibly can. He even invoked "family matters" in the midst of all the things going wrong. Someone feel free to correct me but the only update that we have from his family is that Lesser Brother pumped another son into Sara, correct? Thankfully he's Bob which means he can't do manipulation right. The other reason this rings so incredibly hollow is that we have his twitter where he's on it day after day being an Internet tough guy. The Bob in this video is not the same that we see every single day.
Moving away from that, he claims that there has been some project that he's been working on for over a year that's still not ready. Correction, they've been working on whoever the hell the other people are. One day this project will be ready for crowdfunding but Bob is too old school to be comfortable with asking people for money. That is not a joke. That's his cope. As he continues on I genuinely have no idea what he's talking about. He intermixes this alleged future project with what he's doing now so I no longer know if he's talking about crowdfunding for a project that's not done, you know THE WHOLE REASON CROWDFUNDING WAS MADE IN THE FIRST PLACE, or his patreon in general. I really hope the unknown project is that tranny slasher flick that Lesser Brother's faggot, polycule friend stole the money from.
Bob makes things better and himself look like a hero by stating
"But the fact is, just simply asking people for money...when I don't have anything concrete to sell back for it rather...other than keep doing this show...is just something that's never sat comfortably for me. It feels like begging. It makes me uncomfortable...when I know that there are so many more worthwhile things, smaller creators people, just starting out who need it more, who deserve it more *jump cut* but story for another time."
How absolutely magnanimous the Lord of Lynn is to harm himself for the betterment of others worse off than him. Who are these others? Fuck you.
4 minutes in and we jump to another segment
and his backdrop is now on fire.
They should teach this scene in film school
Possibly new information is that his computers was only down for maybe a month, maybe just over. Bob is so tech inept that he didn't think that it was possible that hard drives could fail so bad that data would be corrupted anymore, meaning with current day tech, which amazes me seeing how he's been doing this since 2010. His demeanor has completely changed. He's no longer sad boi. He looks and sounds like he's having fun talking about a complete hard drive failure that set him back months and put him debt. He calls his mom's sewing room "the editing suite". You didn't read that right nor fully comprehend what I said. I know because I had to back and listen to it 3 times. I will say it again. He calls his mom's sewing room "the editing suite". He explains how the last Schloctober episode was supposed to have a pitch for a new...video format/series I guess? He promises us that he's going somewhere with all of this and immediately puts this on the screen
Reminder that this is a serious video about serious things like when the broken thing is you. The fire has now been put out and we're left with the smoldering remains of Bob's backdrop.
Serious video btw
He tries to explain why there have been so few Big Pictures the past few months while ignoring the entirety of last year. His reasons, in part, are:
- The ones that came out are longer.
- Feeling down/self care (his words)
- Lack of money
- Working on more regular stuff/gigs "stuff that's gonna pay immediately rather than accruing money on youtube or patreon"
However, the biggest reason why he doesn't do his own job is *the drummiest roll that ever did drum*
"to put bluntly the economics of youtube and online video period which basically means youtube but not entirely yes you can apply to maybe join nebula with the cool kids maybe you can uh put stuff up on vimeo uh patreon wants to be its own video platform, for some reason,
the some reason part is directed at the patreon bit and the next part I have to assume is so a different thought *jump cut* the economics are different"
If you can figure out what any of that means then I will award you 3 Internet points
Through out this next segment the smoke effect has cleared up and you can see the outline of his green screen in the top right corner.
Six and a half minutes in and we're given the backstory to The Big Picture which is weird because he already gave us the backstory in one of his Marthabox monstrosities. The only new thing to add is a slight dig at the The Escapist saying
"I'm not even sure if the Escapist proper still exists at this point because anyone who was still...doing meaningful stuff there has left and started Second Wind *jump cut* good on them good to see that...wish him the best of luck"
After a brief explanation of what The Big Picture was supposed to be which boiled down to popular guy talks about things he finds interesting and informs people about it, Bob starts ANOTHER segment
Is he talking about The Big Picture or youtube? Fuck you.
Bob spends the next minute saying that he too likes watching people he likes talk about weird stuff but then drops a bombshell exposing why The Big Picture doesn't work anymore.
"What YouTube is now *looks down at his desk to collect his thoughts for 2 seconds* not just for my show but for everything else that's out there is now very much antithetical to that and it wasn't always"
I would love for him to explain away people like penguinz0, Justin Whang, Oneyplays, or autistic vtubers who talk about the different types of Build-a-Bears. Youtube isn't antithetical to them. Hell in a handbasket, explain why Hbomberguy's video on plagerism did absolute gangbusters if the algorithm punishes people for talking about weird things?
You heard it straight from the horse's mouth ladies, gentlemen, and Bobologists of all ages. It isn't that people are tired of Bob's dipshit rhetoric. It isn't that he's pushed away actual fans by dumping his old shit on them and expecting them to gobble it up like fresh ice cream. It isn't that he has out right refused to talk about hot topics like the Mario movie because of muh mentals. It wasn't even Wokaine Bear. It's the algorithm's fault. The background now has geometric shapes showing that Bob is puzzling this out and is very smart
Bob starts off not by talking about how the algorithm works but by, I shit you not, waxing nostalgic for fucking 2010 youtube. Things were more pure before money got involved and that's not even exaggerating what Bob's saying.
"The original version of YouTube was literally just here are channels, here are people putting stuff up, it's just a wild west, this might be a person's video of walking their dog, this might be a pirated movie, this might be someone going to the zoo, this might be Mentos in Diet Coke, this might be outright pornography, you don't know. But the, what I would consider the YouTube at it's ideal state... uh you know before I was fully part of the platform around when I joined up and then right to when the the full version of YouTube showed up the the you know the bad old days, the All or Nothing, days uh when uh the AVGN jumped off uh jumped off in terms of really blew up as a popular creator when a lot of what people would consider the the OG YouTubers really kicked off, people generally had a theme going for their work but really you could also expect them to do anything else there was experimentation. Oh here's this person. I like their style. I like their attitude whatever they put out...I'm probably going to watch because it's turning up in my feed and aren't they interesting. And there was a sense that people could try anything and that you could experience anything and now, for very obvious reasons, YouTube, because now there's money in it, because they have ads, because this is a profitable business or they want it to be a profitable business or a more profitable business, YouTube wants to be...television YouTube wants to replace television, replace cable relation like every other you know tech company they they think they want to be Hollywood...which is a mistake, try to be your own thing but that's shouting into the void at this point"
YOU HEAR THAT NEAL?!? BOB CHIPMAN'S GOT YOUR NUMBER YOU DOT HEADED STREET SHITTER! Just stop trying to be like Hollywood, bro!
I too miss the wild west days of the Internet but I wasn't like Bob and cheered for it's destruction because it made people I disagreed with politically mad. This is your sanitized internet at work, Mr Chipman. I'd say enjoy getting bit in the ass but that's not what's biting Bob in the ass. He mentions AVGN and how the nerd blew up but not why. There were other people who were doing what James did but they didn't get nearly as much success, like the Irate Gamer. Why? Part of it was because they were somewhat derivative and the other was that James was funny and likable. Bob is neither funny, at least not intentionally, nor likable.
We have now entered knock off Matrix and I don't know why.
He makes a very pained example as to why youtube doesn't work anymore.
"The story of every Media company now in my opinion is uh it's it's like the anchor store on a mall that also has uh a reasonably good coffee shop inside the the Target or the Best Buy or whatever and then they decide you know people seem to like this so what we should do is we should put in 12 more of these and try to be our own food court no no you're Your Best Buy be good at being Best Buy don't also try to be McDonald's Burger King and and Taco Bell just be what you are and also sell some some gum by the register but no one ever listens"
I've been in many a Best Buy and I have never, not once, seen one with a coffee shop in it, Starbucks or otherwise. So perplexed by this was I that I went to google maps and checked out every Best Buy in the Boston area and not one has coffee or food bar. Bob doesn't even know the very stores he shops in.
Bob implies that the algorithm is being used directly by youtube to make bad money decisions and hurt him.
"(the algorithm) basically pushed itself into a scenario where if you are not as a creator making only one kind of video for your channel all of the time...you're going to lose money, lose subscribers, people get mad, you stop getting recommended, and your dollars go down and that is true whether you are liberal conservative whether you are doing movies doing video games if you're trying to do interesting creative person saying whatever they want to say putting up whatever kind of video that you want to put up expose your perspective audience to as many different ideas and Concepts and see what works you know throw things against the wall in the spirit of the original organic growth version of the internet you are going to lose in the long run it's just how it works maybe that's inevitable maybe that's the only way for YouTube to make money and for creators to make money through the monetizing of ads I'd like to think there's another way I don't see one and I'm not a 'well if we just overthrow capitalism' sort of guy because, well yes, of course, but you know I'm 42 I don't have time to wait around for the revolution. I'm hungry now and thanks to a little thing called experience I have good reason not to trust the revolutionaries"
All of this is retarded and demonstrably false. Just look at everyone's favorite hack frauds.
By Bob's logic everthing that isn't Half in the Bag should be in the tens of thousands and not hundreds of thousands. Their two least viewed videos are a re:View for an unknown movie and a 30 minute shitpost. The algorithm isn't hurting them. You know, Bob could help himself by showing where he did something different and it made his view count to go down and subscribers to leave. Spoilers! He does not once show that. He only tells you that it's the algorithm's fault he's floundering. I'm not even gonna touch the revolution retardation other than to say when he gets to that point hundred dollar bills begin flying across the screen.
A serious creator who thinks he's making a bold statement and is "hungry now".
LMFAO
We, for some reason, are now in the stars.
Half way through a 27 minute video and Bob admits that everything before this point was bullshit nonsense, though he calls them tangents. He once again states that youtube does not want his kind of videos.
"You see I've already gone off on seven or eight different tangents here this was supposed to be about what was up with The Big Picture and what is coming next and what am I teasing. To me that's the most interesting sort of guy talking to the camera YouTube video but it's not what YouTube wants videos to be and it's also clearly not a lot of people's taste. They want a direct answer. They want thing. They want 'I clicked on on the Moviebob Channel I want whatever I've decided Moviebob content is defined as and only that and if not I'm going to click away right away' and the algorithm is going to say no and it's not going to jump into everyone else's feed and it's no use complaining about that whether it's right or wrong to complain about that it's the way it is."
This is just over the half way mark and I'm tapping out. He has done nothing but ramble on about how algorithm is denying him success and provides not even a hint of evidence for his claims. He just states it. In reality, Bob is old and yet still a child. He's throwing his best passive aggressive, adult tantrum that he can because people do not watch him anymore and it's not his fault. All of this pissing and moaning and failed attempts at guilt tripping are the real reason for this video, not the supposed ad, or I guess he calls it a "pitch", for his new show
what it is I don't care because I don't believe for a second it's ever gonna get done, just like Lesser Brother's tranny movie. Bob cannot even make new episodes of already existing shows and he expects us to believe that he can make an entire new show after it's been in limbo for over a year? I bet it's somehow the algorithm's fault too.
EDIT:
After spending way too long on that write up I checked Bob's twitter and...
Holy shit. We were ran out of multiple hosting companies and had an actual child predator threatening to track us down and ruin all of us because we laughed at his fake farts. One breadtuber bullies a faggot to death? Fucking pussy.
Let's keep in fucking mind that James Somerton possibly killing himself because of Hbomberguy's take down happened the day before Bob published his "I'm sad. Pay me!" video. At any point in between he simply could not have. This faux concern/lampshading is just gross.
