Boomer Segments, Impromptu & Scheduled - Increasingly common Post-Stream Q&As to shamelessly scrounge for extra tips.

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Synth said:
Exactly what I said he did, towards the end of Wednesday night's impromptu boomer stream.

Right hand ring finger in the ear, scratching around and clearly scraping off dried ear wax. Takes the finger out, about 10 seconds later it's in his mouth and he's chewing on it.

Clear as fucking day.
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I think the best part is after he’s done digging around in there he lowers his hand out of view of the camera but looks down at his hand, it’s like he looked to visually confirm something was on his finger before shoving it in his mouth
 
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Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink said:
I think the best part is after he’s done digging around in there he lowers his hand out of view of the camera but looks down at his hand, it’s like he looked to visually confirm something was on his finger before shoving it in his mouth
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Yeah, in all honesty, I think he was digging some of it out from under the nail with his thumb, but who the fuck knows. He still ate earwax off his finger either way, no matter how much.
 
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Synth said:
Yeah, in all honesty, I think he was digging some of it out from under the nail with his thumb, but who the fuck knows. He still ate earwax off his finger either way, no matter how much.
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Not just earwax, dude. With how often he runs his Peter-beaters through that disgusting oil-trap of a scalp rug, his hands have to be absolutely coated in just layers of pig grease. That makes any of his finger chewing expeditions that much more disgusting.
 
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Why does Phil hate Polar Express so much? I've never seen it so I have no opinion one way or the other. From the way Phil describes it, it is way too unbelievable and unrealistic. The plot is nonsensical. Therefore it is not a holiday classic and is bad. "Kids ride a train to the North Pole to meet Santa! It makes no logical sense!"

Okay, boomer, tell me if the plot of one of your most beloved holiday classics sounds like it makes sense.

There are these deer that have a baby. The baby deer has a light bulb for a nose. The father dear hides the fact his son is a freak by rubbing dirt on his nose. Now the other deer think he is normal and can't tell his nose is a dirty lightbulb. Oh, the deer also fly. None of the deer wear clothes except for one who is dresses up as a gym teacher.

Santa is there but he is anorexic.

There are elves that work for Santa. There is one gay elf who doesn't want to make toys, he wants to be a dentist.

Some stuff happens and the elf and deer end up on an island with shitty toys. I don't know if the elves were drunk or just incompetent, but they made a lot of shitty toys. The toys are also alive by the way.

Then they all fight the abominable snowman and rip his teeth out. This renders him powerless even though he is still ten feet tall and could rip a deer in half with his hands.

Santa gains 300lbs in one day.

The story is narrated by "Big Daddy" from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" because I'm sure a lot of kids were fans of that movie. Kids love films about alcoholism, families falling apart, cancer, and infertility.

Does this film sound completely stupid and nonsensical? Yes. Is it a classic? Yes. If you don't like Polar Express, just say you didn't like it and move on. Don't give some bullshit excuse that it was too strange. Rudolph is one of the strangest Christmas stories out there.
 
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Sparkletor said:
Why does Phil hate Polar Express so much? I've never seen it so I have no opinion one way or the other. From the way Phil describes it, it is way too unbelievable and unrealistic. The plot is nonsensical. Therefore it is not a holiday classic and is bad. "Kids ride a train to the North Pole to meet Santa! It makes no logical sense!"

Okay, boomer, tell me if the plot of one of your most beloved holiday classics sounds like it makes sense.

There are these deer that have a baby. The baby deer has a light bulb for a nose. The father dear hides the fact his son is a freak by rubbing dirt on his nose. Now the other deer think he is normal and can't tell his nose is a dirty lightbulb. Oh, the deer also fly. None of the deer wear clothes except for one who is dresses up as a gym teacher.

Santa is there but he is anorexic.

There are elves that work for Santa. There is one gay elf who doesn't want to make toys, he wants to be a dentist.

Some stuff happens and the elf and deer end up on an island with shitty toys. I don't know if the elves were drunk or just incompetent, but they made a lot of shitty toys. The toys are also alive by the way.

Then they all fight the abominable snowman and rip his teeth out. This renders him powerless even though he is still ten feet tall and could rip a deer in half with his hands.

Santa gains 300lbs in one day.

The story is narrated by "Big Daddy" from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" because I'm sure a lot of kids were fans of that movie. Kids love films about alcoholism, families falling apart, cancer, and infertility.

Does this film sound completely stupid and nonsensical? Yes. Is it a classic? Yes. If you don't like Polar Express, just say you didn't like it and move on. Don't give some bullshit excuse that it was too strange. Rudolph is one of the strangest Christmas stories out there.
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I remember going to see it for a school trip at the IMAX in like elementary school and thinking it was a pretty boring movie, and I’ve legit never heard of it since. I’m more confused on where he heard of this movie and why he thinks so many people consider it a Christmas classic. And no, I’m not saying those people don’t possibly exist, I’m wondering where the fuck he’s seeing people with this opinion....

But yes, it’s just dave being a massive faggot at the end of the day, he’s nitpicking a children’s fantasy movie because hot chocolate gets shot like a fountain in a scene and that’s super unrealistic, it’s such an eye rolling thing to whine about, it’s a grown fucking man acting like he can’t comprehend something unrealistic in a kids movie.

He’s been doing this a lot recently though, a lot of his recent complaining in call of duty has ended with him saying something like “that’s realistic alright” like call of duty has every expertly replicated real life gunfights...

It’s so fucking weird and just gay, it’s like he hit a point this year where the last remnants of his imagination finally dried up and has to complain about realism in everything
 
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Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink said:
I’m more confused on where he heard of this movie and why he thinks so many people consider it a Christmas classic. And no, I’m not saying those people don’t possibly exist, I’m wondering where the fuck he’s seeing people with this opinion....
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He didn't see anything anywhere.

He's a televangelist & a compulsive liar. He invents every story he tells that involves people. Himself included. Nothing he says that canvasses a public opinion actually exists, not even in his own head. The lies just depend on whatever he's in the mood to spew his word filler noise about in any given moment. It's also Cult Leader Behavior 101.
 
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Immediately talks about how this money will get him "ahead" and how he's been working his ass off.
 
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He really is acting like this $2000 is the magic cure. And boomer segment is done in less than 10 minutes because he wasn't getting any money with the questions.
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I know the speculation is wild right now, & I am thoroughly enjoying the colorful range of different hypotheses flying around, but I think his laissez faire behavior is lining up with where I landed on this when it broke. Which is pretty boring, but boring also lines up with him, as a whole:

I think this quarterassed $2k drive is to cover whatever he already spent/intends to spend [on dining out, no doubt], on his dopey wife for Xmas.

That's it.

As with everything else, he is just too under-evolved to ascertain the concepts of fault or cause//effect as . And honestly, I don't see why he would. He's like god damn 40 years old & never once not had a human meatshield against suffering a single tangible consequence. Absent that, he has always worn down whatever stands in his way with his ability to launch indefatigable temper tantrums. He's also an unapologetic, compulsive liar & revisionist historian with complete social/intellectual atrophy.

So I don't think he understands how fucked he is. It's too god damn big. He has an idea, but he's clearly not shitting himself. At all. If he were, we'd see it.

But this guy doesn't live on a planet where (again) someone doesn't bail him out &/or he can't just be a shrieking pisscunt until a problem goes away. He thinks he's a juggernaut & a survivor. This will be fine too, because in his own words, he's "uncancellable".

All he cares about right now is getting to swang his cashdick around next week so she'll hang around a little longer.

Thus, $2k Burnell Xmas goal.
 
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Nurse Ratchet said:
He didn't see anything anywhere.

He's a televangelist & a compulsive liar. He invents every story he tells that involves people. Himself included. Nothing he says that canvasses a public opinion actually exists, not even in his own head. The lies just depend on whatever he's in the mood to spew his word filler noise about in any given moment. It's also Cult Leader Behavior 101.
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That’s what I mean though, I’ve never seen this movie mentioned anywhere relevant online ever, and yet he just randomly Starts chimping out about it....how did this movie ever even come into his crosshairs...

Genie The Hedgehog said:
The only explanation I have for that is ABC Family or whatever the fuck shows it every year because they do some two weeks of Christmas shit.
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He claims to not have basic TV channels, so that can’t be it. My only logical guess is kat likes the movie for some reason....
 
Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink said:
That’s what I mean though, I’ve never seen this movie mentioned anywhere relevant online ever, and yet he just randomly Starts chimping out about it....how did this movie ever even come into his crosshairs...


He claims to not have basic TV channels, so that can’t be it. My only logical guess is kat likes the movie for some reason....
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I might be mistaken, but I seem to recall him complaining about it last year too around Christmas time. I think it's just one of those weird Phil things where he holds a grudge over something incredibly small and refuses to let go. Why he hates some random Christmas movie so much in the first place is anyone's guess. I don't think it is because Kat likes it though, he tends to parrot her views.
 
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Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOink said:
That’s what I mean though, I’ve never seen this movie mentioned anywhere relevant online ever, and yet he just randomly Starts chimping out about it....how did this movie ever even come into his crosshairs...
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I know you were already saying that, my oinkbro, sorries. That was the one part of my thunks that I forgot to type. My complete disgust with that pile of shit kinda takes the wheel sometimes.
 
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Tom Hanks plays too many different roles in Polar Express! That's just stupid! Reeeeeee!

I wonder how he feels about 8 Crazy Nights since he is a huge Adam Sandler fan and Sandler plays like 4 characters in that movie.
 
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