Cultcow Brad Watson / Richard Bradshaw Watson / Brad Watson_Miami - Jesus & Albert Einstein reincarnated, discoverer of GOD=7_4 Theory

[GV 998]

I'm trying to decide which is crazier. Brad's belief that God is a big 'ol math equation living in space, and instead of commanding the universe, he likes to spend his very important time giving Brad subtle clues that let him determine which team is going to win the next Basketball game

Or

People who still believe the world is flat.

So many questions that come with Brad's religion too.
Can I be reincarnated as a Transformer?
Can I be reincarnated as a Sonichu (and if so, is that basically Hell?)
And what do I do while waiting to be reincarnated?
Do I sit in an ethereal waiting room until my turn comes up?
What music is playing in the waiting room?
Is there any variety, or is it basically the Greatest Hits of Cat Stevens on a loop?
And what magazines are there to read while I wait?

 

[LordCustos3]

I'm trying to decide which is crazier. Brad's belief that God is a big 'ol math equation living in space, and instead of commanding the universe, he likes to spend his very important time giving Brad subtle clues that let him determine which team is going to win the next Basketball game

Or

People who still believe the world is flat.

So many questions that come with Brad's religion too.
Can I be reincarnated as a Transformer?
Can I be reincarnated as a Sonichu (and if so, is that basically Hell?)
And what do I do while waiting to be reincarnated?
Do I sit in an ethereal waiting room until my turn comes up?
What music is playing in the waiting room?
Is there any variety, or is it basically the Greatest Hits of Cat Stevens on a loop?
And what magazines are there to read while I wait?

I still can't get over the silly idea that

• God pretends he's The Riddler from Batman rather than speaking plainly....
  
• God's vocabulary is limited to "Four" and "Seven"...
• God speaks to a random nobody in Miami rather than hijacking the newsfeeds of Fox/MSNBC/CNN....

But since -- by Brad's own overly lax standard -- even I qualify as a Prophet, I, The Lord of Custos, will answer your worthy questions.

Yes, You MUST be reincarnated as a Transformer. But if you have lived a life of sin, you will come back as a Decepticon.
No, you cannot come back as a Electric Hedgehog Pokeymans.
While waiting your turn to be reincarnated, a chatroom will be provided, but it will be the Call of Duty: Ghosts chatroom....so, yeah. Basically, Hell.
Yes, you sit in an ethereal waiting room until your turn comes up; all the while being "attended" by 72 sex nymphs....so you'll spend a thousand years getting sexed up....while the COD:G Chatroom scrolls by in the background. What this will do to your sexuality and temperment in the Next Life is a mystery.
The musical accompaniment of the Pre-Life depends on how decent a person you were in life. If you were nice, it'll be Cocteau Twins and Enya and other similarly relaxing background music. If you were bad, it'll be "Achy Breaky Heart (Extended Extra-Breaky Mix)" by Billy Ray Cyrus on repeat.
The magazines provided also depend on your behaviour in this life. If you were a decent person, you have an access card to the Akashic Library; if not, you all have to share a copy of Highlights for Fishermen. The Polish Language edition. And the crossword has already been filled out.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

I'm trying to decide which is crazier. Brad's belief that God is a big 'ol math equation living in space, and instead of commanding the universe, he likes to spend his very important time giving Brad subtle clues that let him determine which team is going to win the next Basketball game

LOL, that's a good point. If Brad's numerology game was actually as predictive as he thinks it is, he'd make a killing gambling on sporting events.

 

[Keerakh]

I'm trying to decide which is crazier. Brad's belief that God is a big 'ol math equation living in space, and instead of commanding the universe, he likes to spend his very important time giving Brad subtle clues that let him determine which team is going to win the next Basketball game

Or

People who still believe the world is flat.

So many questions that come with Brad's religion too.
Can I be reincarnated as a Transformer?
Can I be reincarnated as a Sonichu (and if so, is that basically Hell?)
And what do I do while waiting to be reincarnated?
Do I sit in an ethereal waiting room until my turn comes up?
What music is playing in the waiting room?
Is there any variety, or is it basically the Greatest Hits of Cat Stevens on a loop?
And what magazines are there to read while I wait?

I've been taught that in the Abrahamic religions, the original intent and thought of the afterlife was a state of sleep before the Final Judgement.
For the religions that teach that reincarnation happens, it's more or less instant, with the exception of the schools of thought that attempt to lay down pre-reincarnation punishment.
The realm of Naraka comes to mind. The timelines of punishments even remind me of Brad's nutty sentences.

I still can't get over the silly idea that

• If you were a decent person, you have an access card to the Akashic Library; if not, you all have to share a copy of Highlights for Fishermen. The Polish Language edition. And the crossword has already been filled out.

lol

 

[The Great Chandler]

Brad is a strange guy. Other than that, I might end up friends with him.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Isn't God going to church a kind of theological masturbation?

 

[facepalm]

Isn't God going to church a kind of theological masturbation?

Does that make Brad the DarkSydePhil of Jesus claimants?

 

[Brad Watson_Miami]

@Galvatron / anonymous cow ard,

GOD: the 'system as a whole', the 'Universe as quantum computer'.

The gf & I went to Coral Gables today for lunch, a coffee, and a little clothes shopping at Sears. She then wanted to go to a Goodwill Store on SW 8th St in Little Havana. I got three books there: 'Principles of Biochemistry' (college textbook), 'Jesus the One and Only', and the 'New Catholic Children's Bible' for $7.99. As she was trying on some clothes, I went two stores down to have a good cup of Cuban coffee. While I was there at 6 pm, the Spanish TV news channel reported... the first cruise ship full of Americans arriving in Havana in 50 years! I was born in Miami on the Cuban 'Day of the Revolution' almost 57 years ago - "For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction." (“Whenever one body exerts a force on a second body, the second body exerts an oppositely directed force of equal magnitude on the first body.”)

'There Are No Coincidences' - there's synchronism, nonlocality, retrocausality, subconscious telepathy, and design-and-alignment.

 

[Cthulu]

Isn't God going to church a kind of theological masturbation?

You know it kinda is isn't it.

 

[millais]

The gf & I went to Coral Gables today for lunch, a coffee, and a little clothes shopping at Sears. She then wanted to go to a Goodwill Store on SW 8th St in Little Havana. I got three books there: 'Principles of Biochemistry' (college textbook), 'Jesus the One and Only', and the 'New Catholic Children's Bible' for $7.99. As she was trying on some clothes, I went two stores down to have a good cup of Cuban coffee. While I was there at 6 pm, the Spanish TV news channel reported... the first cruise ship full of Americans arriving in Havana in 50 years! I was born in Miami on the Cuban 'Day of the Revolution' almost 57 years ago - "For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction." (“Whenever one body exerts a force on a second body, the second body exerts an oppositely directed force of equal magnitude on the first body.”)

'There Are No Coincidences' - there's synchronism, nonlocality, retrocausality, subconscious telepathy, and design-and-alignment.

Brad, did you get Lehninger's Principles? I think it's the one all the kids these days are studying.

edit: oops, forgot i'm on Space Jesus's ignore list

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

So I have been working on the B Watson(79) = virgin(79) asshole(79) theory. I now have a working hypothesis.

B Watson(79) is a virgin(79) asshole(79). His immediate(79) criminal(79) sinner(79) desires(79) include getting a blowjob(79) from his mommy(79).


What do you guys think?

All I know is, I wouldn't want to B A Watson!

Hahahahh

 

[LordCustos3]

So I have been working on the B Watson(79) = virgin(79) asshole(79) theory. I now have a working hypothesis.

B Watson(92) is a virgin(79) asshole(79). His immediate(79) criminal(79) sinner(79) desires(79) include giving a blowjob(69) to his daddy(3, who he thinks is God(26) but is actually just a hobo(40) living under a bridge(45).

What do you guys think?

Fixed.

 

[Brad Watson_Miami]

I just added a chapter in my (almost finished74) book, Plan-it Theory of GOD=7_4...

A/Thee goddess7 (god3+dess4)

Note how the word goddess is spelled. It's the feminine version of god, yet there isn't a capitalized version of goddess unless it's the first word of a sentence, found in a title, or as applied to a particular goddess, i.e. Goddess Isis. When God is used, it's definition is the one deity as opposed to god referring to one of a possible group of gods. GOD and God-incarnate are very closely connected, yet very different. Also, -dess(4 letters) is added to god(3), thus producing goddess(7).

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Fixed.

It's so much fun when you can make the numbers and letters mean anything you want.

Rahnald Ray Gunn (7,3+4=7). Wow, two different sevens AND a four! Thanks to these alternate spellings, I know Ronald Reagan (excuse me, President Ray Gunn) was a Prophet of God, if not Jesus himself.

 

[Keerakh]

Last I checked Brad couldn't be Jesus, because he doesn't have his superior Atomic Theory whereby God is a microbeing and atoms are spaceships.
Because Harrie Weggelaar is the new Jesus, with his Atoomtheorie.
That must mean Brad is Satan, for trying to sway us away from the righteousness of Harrie Christus' Atoomtheorie.

But wait! Brad is an asshole virgin! Satan loves it up the ass. Thus he can't be both.

So which is it? Is Brad an asshole virgin or is he Satan?
Such conundrums!

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Just realized... Leonard7 F. Shaner(6+1=7)... Do you realize this means that another of our beloved lolcows is a heavenly prophet?

 

[facepalm]

If Shaner and Brad are prophets, who is the 3rd?

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

If Shaner and Brad are prophets, who is the 3rd?

I Don't Know.

 

[Adamska]

I Don't Know.

I'm just asking what's the first real prophet.

Because Brad sure ain't that guy.

 

[Brad Watson_Miami]

Nancy Reagan was the "Whore of Babylon". She was married to Ronald(6 letters) Wilson(6) Reagan(6)* and ran the White House especially during the final years of his 2nd term (1987-89). Besides often wearing scarlet (red), she infamously practiced astrology - the only remnant of ancient Babylon. But most importantly, her and Ronnie's actions were the opposite of the Christ!

Nancy Reagan & George Walker Bush (Jr.) - the "2nd Beast" - were both born on 7/6: they're Cancers. Matthew 7:6, "Don't give what's holy to dogs, don't throw your pearls to pigs. They'll trample them and then turn on you."


*Synchronism: 5/3/16 18:23 "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall." - Reagan with image on ad for The 80s on CNN