Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[Stabmaster Arson]

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"we're told he met up with some folks at a sports bar Saturday in Pompano Beach and had a couple alcoholic drinks"

Poor Bam, he is really trying so hard for his wife and kid

Wonder what he was snorting.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

What a mess. Genuinely speaking it’s hard to feel any sympathy for him because at this point, it just seems he doesn’t care anymore.

Yeah, at some point, you can't use addiction or past trauma as an excuse for your actions. He's lost his job, friends, wife, and kid, but still looks for any and every opportunity to get loaded.

Probably the only thing that might work is a real rehab where you're locked in, don't have (or very limited access) to phones/internet, get piss tested daily, have to do therapy, etc. If he fucks up once, he gets sent to jail. And then when he completes treatment, he goes to a sober/halfway house.

But like I said before, as long as he has money, there'll be a shitty rehab that will take him in.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Footage of Bam getting wasted 2 weeks ago was just posted by TMZ.

https://www.tmz.com/2022/07/06/bam-margera-party-video-missing-rehab/

Unfortunately can't figure out how to download video from TMZ but generally Harvey Levin's gossip rag keeps their content up. Bam is partying with true Florida Men degenerates and at the end is passed out on a bed.

Hopefully another year in rehab will get Bam's on the straight and narrow... "good luck with that one."

Bonus: Thanks /tv/ Anon I never saw this Bam doodle till now so I don't think it was posted in this thread.

Spoiler: poorly drawn, but still NSFW

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image description: bam margera's natural reaction to vaginas

 

[Rogowski]

We're told Bam later left the hospital and went to a strip club in Pompano Beach ... though Bam told people around him to keep the dancers away from him because he loves his wife and kid.

LMAO he thinks he still has a chance at saving his marriage.
Also, hey Bam tell us you’re gay without actually telling us you’re gay.

 

[Dr. Butt]

LMAO he thinks he still has a chance at saving his marriage.
Also, hey Bam tell us you’re gay without actually telling us you’re gay.
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How does he manage to look worse than what is clearly a man who sucks dicks for single hits off of a meth pipe?

 

[TrippinKahlua]

These guys are exploiting Bam. You can hear them on video conspiring to send the footage to TMZ to make money.

Bam doesn’t care though, as long as there’s Yes Men to give him Booze and Blow.

 

[break these cuffs]

These guys are exploiting Bam. You can hear them on video conspiring to send the footage to TMZ to make money.

Bam doesn’t care though, as long as there’s Yes Men to give him Booze and Blow.

I don't believe it. The thought of poor drug addicts exploiting a rich drug addict for drugs and clout doesn't even make sense. How about you quit being a hater?

 

[Kulee Baba]

These guys are exploiting Bam. You can hear them on video conspiring to send the footage to TMZ to make money.

Bam doesn’t care though, as long as there’s Yes Men to give him Booze and Blow.

I don't believe it. The thought of poor drug addicts exploiting a rich drug addict for drugs and clout doesn't even make sense. How about you quit being a hater?

For real TMZ is a fascinating entity, everything Kiwifarms is wildly hyped to be by its biggest detractors is reality when it comes to TMZ and then some. They get away with what they do because their lolcows are considered celebrities and thus are free game.

Not to powerlevel too hard but years ago I did a short stint for a famous luxury hotel brand, I won't reveal who it is but think of the name of a popular American Cracker Brand and the last name of a popular news talk show host. Anyway it was game for employees to be the ones who could get the valuable celeb info and notify paparazzi. The dream is to get TMZ to pay you big money for dropping a valuable "scandal" worthy story.

The Florida men definitely knew what they were doing. I wouldn't be surprised whatsoever if they got the inside drop on Bam by being friendly associates of a rehab employee who found out in advance that Bam was going to ditch rehab again.

It's sad parasitic relationship, but Bam knew what he was doing and counted on it.

 

[break these cuffs]

For real TMZ is a fascinating entity, everything Kiwifarms is wildly hyped to be by its biggest detractors is reality when it comes to TMZ and then some. They get away with what they do because their lolcows are considered celebrities and thus are free game.

Not to powerlevel too hard but years ago I did a short stint for a famous luxury hotel brand, I won't reveal who it is but think of the name of a popular American Cracker Brand and the last name of a popular news talk show host. Anyway it was game for employees to be the ones who could get the valuable celeb info and notify paparazzi. The dream is to get TMZ to pay you big money for dropping a valuable "scandal" worthy story.

The Florida men definitely knew what they were doing. I wouldn't be surprised whatsoever if they got the inside drop on Bam by being friendly associates of a rehab employee who found out in advance that Bam was going to ditch rehab again.

It's sad parasitic relationship, but Bam knew what he was doing and counted on it.

It's incestuous faggotry all the way down. There are always parasites around people like Bam. They don't have his best interest at heart or some noble cause. They just don't want him to get shivved in a homeless encampment because their payday will end. People like Bam, trash with money, will quickly attract the absolute dregs of society who will be the death of them when left to their own devices. There are other dregs of society who leech off of people like Bam and keep them from taking that fatal hit of fent while they party with other addicts in some shitty tenement.

I don't know or care how such arrangements are made or carried out. It would take a lot of convincing for me to believe they don't exist or are even formalized contractually.

 

[Rogowski]

Remember that old episode of Viva La Bam when Bam rented out a fucking billboard to make fun of his dads weight?

Wouldn’t it be fucking hilarious if someone pooled money together to rent a billboard in whatever Florida shithole he’s in? Something maybe like this:

 

[Dr. Butt]

Remember that old episode of Viva La Bam when Bam rented out a fucking billboard to make fun of his dads weight?
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Wouldn’t it be fucking hilarious if someone pooled money together to rent a billboard in whatever Florida shithole he’s in? Something maybe like this:
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Is this cow-tipping or pozloading my neghole? I just want to know before I decide whether or not to do it because a billboard in florida apparently costs $2.700 per month, which is less than what most people in this thread used to spend on cocaine per month.

 

[Bango Bongo in the Congo]

Is this cow-tipping or pozloading my neghole? I just want to know before I decide whether or not to do it because a billboard in florida apparently costs $2.700 per month, which is less than what most people in this thread used to spend on cocaine per month.

It’s a civil service.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

I live in Central Florida and I’d endorse seeing such a Billboard on I-4.

 

[Rogowski]

In other news, the Margeras are getting sick of #FREEBAM’s shit:

Spoiler

As usual, the window licking retards went completely apeshit because Senpai’s family finally noticed them:

Spoiler: INTERNET FAGGOTRY

We’ll start with our favorite genderfluid rapper, Lapi:

He claims he wrote a book, but in reality it’s not to be found on his Wordpress blog. Interestingly, all Bam content has been removed from his online diary.

Now let’s do the other crazy bitch, thesurprisewitness:


She can hardly hide the fact that she hates that the Margeras won’t go on her retarded livestreams. I really want to see what happens if they find this thread.

Also found a pothead who is apparently making money using Bam’s ORIGINAL CONTENT DONUT STEEL:

There seems to be a #freebam discord server and while I don’t use discord I’m tempted to make a throwaway account to drop a link here and then log out forever

 

[mr.moon1488]

I don't blame him for nailing 2006 Jessica Simpson

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Imagine the absolute uber cow that would have been formed if he'd knocked her up though.

 

[0 0]

Results of the thread's poll before its closing.

 

[KweenKarlotta]

Hey now, you’d drink like a fish too if you got raped and golden showered by a movie producer don’t be too hard on him.

I know I’m hard on the guy in this thread, but this particular scene makes me feel dirty just watching it.
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Gummo meets Deliverance

Are you referring to the Jackass director or the Jackass crew?
"What's the matter, boy? I bet you can squeal. I bet you can squeal like a pig. Let's squeal. Squeal now. Squeal!"

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

Remember that old episode of Viva La Bam when Bam rented out a fucking billboard to make fun of his dads weight?
View attachment 3469694
Wouldn’t it be fucking hilarious if someone pooled money together to rent a billboard in whatever Florida shithole he’s in? Something maybe like this:
View attachment 3469771

That's actually not a bad idea. Jess should put up billboards like that all over Florida (using Bam's money, of course).

 

[Rogowski]

That's actually not a bad idea. Jess should put up billboards like that all over Florida (using Bam's money, of course).

Bonus: It will also be proof positive that JESS IS ON TEAM CON AND THEYRE HUMAN TRAFFICKING HIM SO THEY CAN STEAL HIS ORIGINAL PISS PRANKS AND RAPE HIS BUTT TILL THE ROOM STINKS #reeebam

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Those three guys hovering over an unconscious Bam, posing with their fists, smirking, thinking “haha, we made Bam doped up” is just the saddest thing I’ve seen, and I’ve been watching Bam since before VLB began.

One of the guys says on camera “Yeah send it to me” while Bam snorts a line. Plotting to send the video to TMZ.

He’s posing holding this toolbox his Yes Man said to hold. Thinking he is all badass.

All he cares about is finding associates willing to host a free night of Viva La Bam for him. Booze and drugs included.