Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[KweenKarlotta]

Is this his only backup? I'm surprised the comments aren't limited on his official instagram. Lots of snark and calling Dannii a man.

 

[just lurking]

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Is this his only backup? I'm surprised the comments aren't limited on his official instagram. Lots of snark and calling Dannii a man.

That's not his spam account, that's his backup to his backup account lol. He switched accounts cuz he was hacked (i think). The account he posts on is @captiancremebrulee

 

[Mysterious Figure]

stolen from reddit, but wanted to post here because it made me lol
bam was walking around the hardware store without shoes, instead has his sweatpants tied around his feet
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Why did he do this?

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Why did he do this?

My guess: He showed up barefoot to the store and was told he couldn’t be in there without shoes. He didn’t want to miss the selfie/content opportunity about his rad ramp building project so tucked his nasty sweat pants around his feet to be cheeky and meet the technical “shoe” requirements of Home Depo. The lumber aisle employees would have been in the shit if photos of the drunk hobo sauntering around their store barefoot circulated online.

Shorter answer: He’s fucking nasty and walks around in public barefoot. He also rarely bathes and is very stanky.

 

[AngryTreeRat]

My guess: He showed up barefoot to the store and was told he couldn’t be in there without shoes. He didn’t want to miss the selfie/content opportunity about his rad ramp building project so tucked his nasty sweat pants around his feet to be cheeky and meet the technical “shoe” requirements of Home Depo. The lumber aisle employees would have been in the shit if photos of the drunk hobo sauntering around their store barefoot circulated online.

Shorter answer: He’s fucking nasty and walks around in public barefoot. He also rarely bathes and is very stanky.

Reading this made me realize, if no one has made this joke yet in this thread I need to do so just so the low hanging wordplay fruit is plucked:

We went from Viva La Bam to Viva La Bum.

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

My guess: He showed up barefoot to the store and was told he couldn’t be in there without shoes. He didn’t want to miss the selfie/content opportunity about his rad ramp building project so tucked his nasty sweat pants around his feet to be cheeky and meet the technical “shoe” requirements of Home Depo. The lumber aisle employees would have been in the shit if photos of the drunk hobo sauntering around their store barefoot circulated online.

Shorter answer: He’s fucking nasty and walks around in public barefoot. He also rarely bathes and is very stanky.

I know from watching someone descend into alcoholism… being out in public without shoes is some end stage shit. Especially at a place like a hardware store where there’s splinters on the floor.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I know from watching someone descend into alcoholism… being out in public without shoes is some end stage shit. Especially at a place like a hardware store where there’s splinters on the floor.

Yeah, edema, poor coordination and fat gut make putting on shoes such a hassle. For the last year he’s worn what amounts to house slippers so I’m assuming he’s having trouble getting swollen feet into the 10000 pairs of vans and other skate shoes he must own.

 

[Niall Meanwhile]

Then Bam must have a really bad oedema, or the feet of a leper, if going barefoot is the more bearable alternative. Skate shoes of the chunky persuasion have wide and well cushioned insides and are basically slippers you can leave the house with. I still keep a pair of well-worn, 10+ year old chunky Fallens somewhere in there essentially because of that.

 

[Shiba Inu Strike Force]

I'd be surprised if he doesn't have diabetic foot decay.

 

[Rogowski]

Funny you say diabetes, I've always viewed modern day Bam as a mix between Ricky from TPB with a little bit of Lucas Werner thrown in for good measure.

 

[No Batty Boys in Jamaica]

I'd be surprised if he doesn't have diabetic foot decay.

Trench foot like Daniel Larson.

 

[Racist Parrot]

Trench foot like Daniel Larson.

Imagine being so gross your body just says fuck it lol.

 

[The Hardest R]

This kid's life is going to fucking suck and I hate both of these shitheads for it.

His life was always going to suck because Nasty Nikki couldn’t put down the bottle during the pregnancy as their kid clearly has the classic FAS face. Thats why I always push back when people want to feel sorry for this skank. Nope, with very few exceptions, water finds its level. Same applies to Bam’s new blushing bride.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

Ricky from TPB

you take that back Corey he's way more like Randy with that fat guts

 

[Carlos Thin]

I know from watching someone descend into alcoholism… being out in public without shoes is some end stage shit. Especially at a place like a hardware store where there’s splinters on the floor.

The only alcoholics I’ve known who act like Bam are the mental case homeless guys from my town who’d not wear shoes in a store to start a fight with the owner

 

[The Cringe Connoisseur]

The only alcoholics I’ve known who act like Bam are the mental case homeless guys from my town who’d not wear shoes in a store to start a fight with the owner

He has always had BDP but he's just been using Dunn's death as an excuse to be a worthless piece of shit for over a decade now. I say he's not a lolcow he's just a spineless piece of shit who blames everyone but himself for his clearly self inflicted problems like most other worthless drunks on the planet.

 

[Attractive Sexhaver]

He has always had BDP but he's just been using Dunn's death as an excuse to be a worthless piece of shit for over a decade now. I say he's not a lolcow he's just a spineless piece of shit who blames everyone but himself for his clearly self inflicted problems like most other worthless drunks on the planet.

Bam is in his mid 40's. It's almost impossible to make it to that age without dealing with the death of someone very close to you. Yes, it sucks, and yes it can really impact the way you look at the world and send you into a bit of a spiral. But it's something most people find a way to carry on with. It's certainly not normal behaviour to torch every other friendship in your life and more or less abandon your kids.

If Ryan Dunn were alive today it's almost certain Bam wouldn't be on speaking terms with him, the same way every other real friend he's ever had has turned their back on him. Bam is a drug addict and mentally a child, and he will latch onto any excuse to justify his self destructive behaviour.

 

[Racist Parrot]

I guarantee he could have gotten close to Tony Hawk level of fame and legend but he completely pissed it away. Oh well lol.

 

[The Hardest R]

Ryan Dunn’s car crash has never been anything more than Bam giving himself permission to act like a raging jackass. That’s all it ever is. The biggest problem is that everyone indulged him in doing that for far too long. They should’ve told him to stop acting like a retard right off the bat. Instead everyone still pretends it was a profound loss for Bam well over a decade after it happened.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

His life was always going to suck because Nasty Nikki couldn’t put down the bottle during the pregnancy as their kid clearly has the classic FAS face. Thats why I always push back when people want to feel sorry for this skank. Nope, with very few exceptions, water finds its level. Same applies to Bam’s new blushing bride.

I always wondered if she kept drinking or just didn’t realize she was knocked up for the first 12 weeks. Could be both but the worst effects of FAS are due to heavy drinking in the first trimester. She was partying extra hard with Bam during that era. I could def see her not realizing her period was late or maybe it was irregular anyway so wasn’t even aware she was pregnant until she was nearing 12 weeks or more. (Before the days of cheap pregnancy tests it was very common for women not to realize they were pregnant till week 12. Pre-1980 Doctors wouldn’t even do the old rabbit killing test until it was that far along because why bother? )

Ryan Dunn’s car crash has never been anything more than Bam giving himself permission to act like a raging jackass. That’s all it ever is. The biggest problem is that everyone indulged him in doing that for far too long. They should’ve told him to stop acting like a retard right off the bat. Instead everyone still pretends it was a profound loss for Bam well over a decade after it happened.

Ryan is only Bam’s “best friend” because he’s dead, all the living friends are long gone with good reason. Ryan is a convenient avatar because he’s dead and therefore can be the symbol of the “true and perfect” friend without reality and Bam’s behavior mucking it all up.