Brianna Wu / John Walker Flynt - "Biggest Victim of Gamergate," Failed Game Developer, Failed Congressional Candidate

[TheImportantFart]

The Farms have inspired me to get back into songwriting.

Spoiler

Brianna Wu arrived just the other day
She came to the world in an unusual way
She was a racist man that didn’t wanna be gay
So he lopped off his Johnson and he threw it away
He bought some thrift store biker boots and gut-belt too
Said “I’m a woman, honest and true, yeah,
I’m a woman, honest and true."

And Crash is in the graveyard thanks to snarling troon
Screaming Frank Wu in a dust-covered room
When he comes home we’ll have some Blue Apron
And the Powerade will sure keep us thin, yeah
The Powerade will sure keep us thin

Brianna Wu released a game just the other day
Full of quicktimes and cyborgs in lingerie
She wanted to port it so PC gamers could play
So she fired up Kickstarter so the betas could pay
And then she cried “muh harassment” and the dollars rolled in
She said “It’s so hard for us women, yeah,
It’s so hard for us women.”

And Crash is in the graveyard thanks to snarling troon
Screaming Frank Wu in a dust-covered room
When he comes home we’ll have some Blue Apron
And the Powerade will sure keep us thin, yeah
The Powerade will sure keep us thin

Brianna wu picked a fight just the other day
Posting ass-hattery on Twitter because that was her way
Said "One plus one is three, I just thought you should know."
And a math professor said "Sorry, that's not so."
And she blocked him quick as Flynt and cried "Can't deal with this hate!
But what you expect from GamerGate, yeah?
What you expect from GamerGate?"

And Crash is in the graveyard thanks to snarling troon
Screaming Frank Wu in a dust-covered room
When he comes home we’ll have some Blue Apron
And the Powerade will sure keep us thin, yeah
The Powerade will sure keep us thin

Brianna Wu set a deadline the other day
It came and went with another delay
‘Cause there was VR to try and Pokemon to slay
So Frank broke out his checkbook and said “That’s okay.”
And as the backers asked for answers
She said “Don’t you dare mansplain!
I’m an engineer installing BIOS on my mainframe.”

And Crash is in the graveyard thanks to snarling troon
Screaming Frank Wu in a dust-covered room
When he comes home we’ll have some Blue Apron
And the Powerade will sure keep us thin, yeah
The Powerade will sure keep us thin

I'm just sad the original isn't longer... so much material left out.

Forgive my ignorance, but what tune is this set to?

 

[Particle Bored]

A+ Chapin, you can always extend it of course.

Next up, do the pokemon song

I like to try to keep true to originals.

Not really familiar with the Pokémon song (just looked it up). We'll see. I've got a couple other ideas, but the "Crash is in the graveyard thanks to snarling troon" jumped in my head and spun out from there. I'll probably try one for a different cow before coming back to Wu, though.

Forgive my ignorance, but what tune is this set to?

Cat's in the Cradle

P.S. Original post was edited to be truer to original.

 

[Giddyup]

She's like the character that Kristen Wiig played on SNL who annoyed the fuck out of everyone by always trying to one-up everyone. If you talk about your skiing trip to Aspen, Wu would claim that she outraced an avalanche on the Himalayas using tree branches as skis. If you mention that you go biking on the weekends, Wu would brag about how she won the Tour De France while pedalling backward and blindfolded.

It's obvious that John grew up feeling inferior and is now trying extra hard to compensate for it. He's pretty much like Trump in that way, talking about how he knows more about ISIS than anyone else or how his steaks are the best steaks ever.

 

[Butta Face Lopez]

Maybe it's like The Picture of Dorian Gray and Wu hates it because it shows what s/he really is.

You ever read that Lovecraft story "The Outsider" where the narrator shows up to a gathering and everybody freaks out and runs away, and then the narrator sees a horrible grotesque zombie, and reaches out and realizes it's a mirror?

That narrator's name? Brianna Wu.

 

[Lunachu]

You ever read that Lovecraft story "The Outsider" where the narrator shows up to a gathering and everybody freaks out and runs away, and then the narrator sees a horrible grotesque zombie, and reaches out and realizes it's a mirror?

That narrator's name? Brianna Wu.

Except for the realization part.

 

[Luminous Being]

You ever read that Lovecraft story "The Outsider" where the narrator shows up to a gathering and everybody freaks out and runs away, and then the narrator sees a horrible grotesque zombie, and reaches out and realizes it's a mirror?

That narrator's name? Brianna Wu.

John Flynt waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were GamerGaters at the convention. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to The Public were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a game dev for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the industry and he said to dad “I want to be an engineer adoptive daddy.”
Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY GAMERGATERS”
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now at the convention booth for Rev60 he knew there were GamerGaters.
“This is Frank” the radio crackered. “You must fight the GamerGaters!”
So John gotted his Glock and blew up the wall.
“HE GOING TO KILL US” said the Gators
“I will shoot at him” said the leader and he fired the transphobic missiles. John shot at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
“No! I must kill the gators” he shouted
The radio said “No, John. You are the gators”
And then John was a harasser.

 

[AnimuGinger]

John Flynt waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were GamerGaters at the convention. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to The Public were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a game dev for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the industry and he said to dad “I want to be an engineer adoptive daddy.”
Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY GAMERGATERS”
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now at the convention booth for Rev60 he knew there were GamerGaters.
“This is Frank” the radio crackered. “You must fight the GamerGaters!”
So John gotted his Glock and blew up the wall.
“HE GOING TO KILL US” said the Gators
“I will shoot at him” said the leader and he fired the transphobic missiles. John shot at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
“No! I must kill the gators” he shouted
The radio said “No, John. You are the gators”
And then John was a harasser.

"Brianna, I had a bad dream."
You blink your eyes and pull up on your elbows. Your iPhone glows brightly in the darkness — it is 3:32 AM.
"Do you want to climb into bed and tell me about it?
"No, Brianna."
The oddness of the situation wakes you up more fully. You can barely make out Frank's pale form in the darkness of your room.
"Why not, loser?"
"Because in my dream, when I told you about the dream, you had to delay your game by another 2 years."
For a moment, you feel paralyzed; you cannot take your eyes off of Frank. Revolution 60 was delayed another 2 years due to very serious death threats.

 

[Elbe]

 

[H3LLH4MM3R666]

The funniest part of Wu is that in a normal society, he'd be locked up in a mental institution. He's really mentally ill but has a ton of people enabling his insanity.

Nah, people only get locked up when they're a clear threat to themselves or others. Other than that, Wu is 10 kids of crazy. Narcissism is her most obvious trait, but that's usually just an adaptive coping mechanism. For what? Issues with self-esteem regulation, narcissists see most people as subhuman, and so they can't stand the thought of being "common". Probably because Wu's rich parents raised him to believe that he was a prodigy. That and he's aspie as hell and lived most of his life in a glass box.

It's assumed that narcissists are too infatuated with themselves to come to respect the people around them- which is backwards. Narcissists can't love anyone else, and so they have to fall in love with themselves.

 

[Arcanine]

https://twitter.com/SuperNerdCate/status/771709576387395584

 

[FatNero]

The great thing about the Wu thread is when I get to the bottom I can just hit refresh and there's six more posts.

 

[SteelPlatedHeart]

Wu is saying words again.

 

[AnOminous]

Wu is saying words again.

View attachment 131015 View attachment 131016

It must be fun trying to tap dance along in a "conversation" with John, knowing that if you tell him anything he doesn't already know, he'll immediately start shrieking MANSPLAINING MANSPLAINING. God forbid you tell him he's wrong about anything.

 

[Quasar]

It must be fun trying to tap dance along in a "conversation" with John, knowing that if you tell him anything he doesn't already know, he'll immediately start shrieking MANSPLAINING MANSPLAINING. God forbid you tell him he's wrong about anything.

Lol, the whole time I was reading that exchange, I was thinking about how that guy must have been terrified that the whole conversation could go south at the drop of a hat

 

[Kiras left nipple]

phone charges in 10 seconds, flat after 10 mins....but it doesnt matter


engineer sneer...

 

[Jaimas]

Wu is saying words again.

View attachment 131015 View attachment 131016

There is nothing being discussed in this conversation.

It's meaningless technobabble being hurled at one another as part of a mutual attempt to seem intelligent.

John Flynt waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were GamerGaters at the convention. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to The Public were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a game dev for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the industry and he said to dad “I want to be an engineer adoptive daddy.”
Dad said “No! You will BE KILL BY GAMERGATERS”
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now at the convention booth for Rev60 he knew there were GamerGaters.
“This is Frank” the radio crackered. “You must fight the GamerGaters!”
So John gotted his Glock and blew up the wall.
“HE GOING TO KILL US” said the Gators
“I will shoot at him” said the leader and he fired the transphobic missiles. John shot at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
“No! I must kill the gators” he shouted
The radio said “No, John. You are the gators”
And then John was a harasser.

 

[captn_kettle]

It must be fun trying to tap dance along in a "conversation" with John, knowing that if you tell him anything he doesn't already know, he'll immediately start shrieking MANSPLAINING MANSPLAINING. God forbid you tell him he's wrong about anything.

I like to imagine that everytime someone "mansplains" or proves Wu wrong, his face fills up with red in a cartoon style and smoke blows out of his ears.

Then John frantically punches the keyboard in oppression, blood spilling from his knuckles and veins popping out his head like he is about to have an aneurysm.

Then as he looks up covered in sweat, wipes away the blood from his monitor, he sees his response..........

"Thats where your wrong. I think I should know, i'm a professional".

Meanwhile Frank is in the corner, cowering, shaking and his mouth ajar. All because he has developed PTSD for telling Wu not to add that extra ingredient in the blue apron recipe.

 

[Patrick Buttman]

Lol, the whole time I was reading that exchange, I was thinking about how that guy must have been terrified that the whole conversation could go south at the drop of a hat

It must be fun trying to tap dance along in a "conversation" with John, knowing that if you tell him anything he doesn't already know, he'll immediately start shrieking MANSPLAINING MANSPLAINING. God forbid you tell him he's wrong about anything.

Ditto. As I was going down the chain, I held my breath in anticipation for him to say the "wrong" thing, causing Wu to unleash his tranny rage and scream "DON'T YOU DARE MANSPLAIN TO ME, SHITLORD!"

 

[AnOminous]

I like to imagine that everytime someone "mansplains" or proves Wu wrong, his face fills up with red in a cartoon style and smoke blows out of his ears.

Then John frantically punches the keyboard in oppression, blood spilling from his knuckles and veins popping out his head like he is about to have an aneurysm.

Then as he looks up covered in sweat, wipes away the blood from his monitor, he sees his response..........

"Thats where your wrong. I think I should know, i'm a professional".

Meanwhile Frank is in the corner, cowering, shaking and his mouth ajar. All because he has developed PTSD for telling Wu not to add that extra ingredient in the blue apron recipe.

I don't think you are imagining anything. I think of your description as a sort of documentary. That is actually what happens. Every time.

It's meaningless technobabble being hurled at one another as part of a mutual attempt to seem intelligent.

It reminds me of when they have 10 seconds to fill in a Star Trek or Doctor Who episode and they just shove in some sciencebabble.

 

[Kiras left nipple]

reverse the polarity wu...