UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679 (https://archive.ph/5Ba6o)

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

View image on Twitter


spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary

42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019
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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Bussy Catalog]

This is why the UK’s defense policy is literally just “hold the line and wait for the yanks.”

 

[CrunkLord420]

how is this real

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

Do those assholes that takes pictures of their food fit into the "selfie addict" category? I'd love for their population to decline.

Also a little disappointed that "selfie" was recognized as an actual word by my browser...

 

[The Fool]

how is this real

I still don't believe the UK is real. You can't convince me.

 

[BigMoney]

imagine getting shot by a british teenager in no mans land and he default dances over your dying body.

 

[OctopodaEnjoyer]

Can you imagine if the millions of men who died for Europe could see it now? Jesus Christ. They'd take one look at *name a big city*, put down the guns, and gone to drink schnapps with Jerry.

 

[CharlesBarkley]

UK army full of faggots? Shocked.

 

[Duck Hwan]

The millenial generation began in 1981, and ended around 1996. At most, you can be 32 years of age to join the UK Army, but good luck with that. Many millenials are already unfit for service, and many more will be in the coming years.

 

[uncleShitHeel]

As someone who descended from the British, can someone explain why they went mad.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

As someone who descended from the British, can someone explain why they went mad.

My personal pet theory is that NATO is the reason why. The United States is willing to pick up most of the tab and provide most of the bodies. So Europeans diverted money and attention away from defense and towards social programs. The Americans helped to encourage this in order to keep World War III from breaking out. The US wanted Europeans to be docile and succeeded.

 

[Tranhuviya]

The Army needs your...compassion. Uh-huh. Never mind that we train people to overcome their natural desire to not kill another human being, we need your compassion!

 

[uncleShitHeel]

My personal pet theory is that NATO is the reason why. The United States is willing to pick up most of the tab and provide most of the bodies. So Europeans diverted money and attention away from defense and towards social programs. The Americans helped to encourage this in order to keep World War III from breaking out. The US wanted Europeans to be docile and succeeded.

That's a strategy. It's not a good strategy, but a strategy none the less.

 

[J A N D E K]

The pitch...

vs

Spoiler: REALITY

 

[RP 520]

That's a strategy. It's not a good strategy, but a strategy none the less.

Well back in the early 1950's I don't think anyone would have foreseen the British Army putting out recruitment ads that basically say "Hey, lazy narcissist that LARPS as a communist revolutionary at their local college, you interested?"

 

[neverendingmidi]

As someone who descended from the British, can someone explain why they went mad.

Inbreeding+2 major wars right after one another+US taking over Europe’s defense= useless buggers from the top of society down to the dregs.

 

[Tookie]

They'll make good cannon fodder for Putin.

 

[Billy_Sama]

I would pay money to watch a R.Lee Ermey verbal beatdown on doughy Millennial.

 

[Safir]

Meanwhile the german army wants to recruit non-germans. I guess I just start learning russian now.

Yeah right.

How to fight Russians: a guide for British millennials

1. Draftees are the underclass who didn't have $1000 to bribe the draft officer. They don't want to be here and don't want to die. You tell them to surrender, they surrender, just learn how to say it in Russian ("zda-vay-tess") because poor Russians can't English.

2. Mercenaries are insane fuckers who are promised $40'000 per year () and last about 2 months on average. You promise them janitorial work for half that and they kill each other for the chance to accept.

3. Hereditary career officers. Spoiler: if they'd fought, they wouldn't have lived to breed. Threaten to annul their British citizenships and confiscate their London apartments.

Bonus level: Chechen terrorists. Same as mercenaries but they're paid in coke and virgins and accept no substitutes. You don't need the army for that, you need uncucked intelligence and special forces. Close your gaping asshole of a border (you're on a goddamn island!) and do exercises with Mossad or something.

 

[Y2K Baby]

Binge gamers are the only ones who actually make sense. Compared to Sephiroth, child soldiers are nothing.

 

[The Fool]

My personal pet theory is that NATO is the reason why. The United States is willing to pick up most of the tab and provide most of the bodies. So Europeans diverted money and attention away from defense and towards social programs. The Americans helped to encourage this in order to keep World War III from breaking out. The US wanted Europeans to be docile and succeeded.

I don't even care if this is completely factual or not, because as an American, this thought makes my nipples hard.