Science Budweiser to Provide Water to Mars

Budweiser begins space experiments aimed at brewing beer on Mars

When Budweiser maker Anheuser-Busch announced earlier this year that it wanted to be the first company to brew beer on Mars, most commentators thought that it had its tongue lodged so firmly in its cheek that delicate surgery would be required to remove it.

All jokes aside, God Bless Capitalism.

 

[RP 520]

Budweiser begins space experiments aimed at brewing beer on Mars





All jokes aside, God Bless Capitalism.

Then the astronaut that hates Budweiser starts his own brewing company on Mars and ruins their plans for a Martian monopoly.

 

[CIA Nigger]

So do they want to get all the space aliens and astronauts wasted too?

 

[The_Truth]

It's not really a surprise, Budweiser routinely converts their production line to bottle water during natural disasters.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Can't wait for space beer to go on sale.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Can't wait for space beer to go on sale.

"Ground Control" from the Ninkasi Brewing Company uses yeast that was sent to space. It's not yet brewed in microgravity, but it's the next best thing.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Then the astronaut that hates Budweiser starts his own brewing company on Mars [...]

What would that company be called?

>inb4 something boring like mars beer

 

[Without A Gout]

Their shitty brew tastes like water, anyway. Just rebrand Bud Light as Bud Lightyear and you're good to go.

 

[KimCoppolaAficionado]

What would that company be called?

>inb4 something boring like mars beer

Budzer: Martian for Beer.

 

[frozenrunner]

What would that company be called?

>inb4 something boring like mars beer

Ares Ale.

 

[DeadwastePrime]

Budweiser tastes like dog piss. therefore, their water will be even worse

 

[Mayker]

Hold my beer, I gotta take a piss.

 

[AnOminous]

Budweiser tastes like dog piss. therefore, their water will be even worse

All beer is future piss.

 

[Shokew]

This won't stop their beer from tasting like fucking crap, unfortunately. Plus the fact that we're wasting money on them going into space when it could be something more productive is rather embarrassing, IMHO.

First Order smashes our planet for no good reason, when???

 

[More Spicey Than Coolwhip]

So do they want to get all the space aliens and astronauts wasted too?

Well of course we want to get the aliens wasted. Think of how much easier it will be to take over the planet when all the Martians suffer from crippling alcoholism.

 

[SwanDive]

Is this a sponsorship of that new Surviving Mars game from Paradox?

 

[CWCchange]

Then the astronaut that hates Budweiser starts his own brewing company on Mars and ruins their plans for a Martian monopoly.

Until AB InBev buys it and hipsters chimp out over the astronaut selling out.

 

[Fleshy Sanik]

Well of course we want to get the aliens wasted. Think of how much easier it will be to take over the planet when all the Martians suffer from crippling alcoholism.

Standard procedure, bring the smallpox blankets.
Lets get those space niggos.

 

[Arkangel]

I only drink craft beers brewed on the far side of Jupiter's moon Europa.

 

[Randy Lahey]

Budweiser tastes like dog piss. therefore, their water will be even worse

How do you know what dog piss tastes like