Cats Dogs

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Theres only one way to eat a hot dog

...Actually they're literally the worst chips i've ever had. Nobody buys them to the point that when stores had them on here for 25 cents a bag in the bargain bin nobody bought them
 
DankSmoker said:
If you guys need that much surface area seared just throw the fuckin thing in a blender before hand and suck it out of the skillet like a baby bird.
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If you cut it into a hotdog octopus and pan fry it, it will be like a crunchy claw to hold melted cheese and caramelized onions while the handle is uncooked.
 
why you suckin on m'peepee then huh whatre you fuckin GAY?
 
I tried this method out with Hebrew National dogs (oy vey!) and I didn’t notice a major change between cooking ‘em normally, it probably does a better job on dogs with natural casings over dogs in collagen casings and/or skinless dogs.
 
Archeops said:
I tried this method out with Hebrew National dogs (oy vey!) and I didn’t notice a major change between cooking ‘em normally, it probably does a better job on dogs with natural casings over dogs in collagen casings and/or skinless dogs.
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Yes this is specifically for standard American supermarket hotdogs that, when cooked normally in a pot of water can turn out rather mushy and boring (but still decent), microwaved can explode and get way too hot and break down, and if you pan fry them without the scores they do crisp up just a little but you don't get those really crispy peaks and you lose butter absorbtion into the exposed center. It's not so much a recipe but just a Dog Enhancement Technique (D.E.T.)

I really just made this thread so I would have an excuse to call them Dogs and be able to say "Roast the Dogs" and other funny hotdog related things. Most of my threads are usually inspired by some sort of silly word I want to say. But this really is a great cheap and fast way of very closely approximating a good grilled Dog in 5 minutes, something that normally requires a bunch of prep and reason to fire up your outdoor grill. It will still taste like a hotdog, though.
 
Cats said:
aproximating a good grilled Dog in 5 minutes, something that normally requires a bunch of prep and reason to fire up your outdoor grill.
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I can just use my cast iron grill pan so I dont feel like a mohel.
 
still gonna lose dem crustynubs and Style Points
 
That looks artery-clogging delicious. Thanks for the recipe cats, might fry some up as a New Years snack.
 
DankSmoker said:
You are mutilating weiners for the end goal of putting them in your mouth and sucking the ketchup off. I just eat hotdogs without consideration.
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Maybe I just subconsciously need them to look a little less like penises.

Maybe you just subconsciously don't.

swaller 'em whole and plain, don't ye Juicy Fruit?
 
its true

at least they make them look like cocks instead.
 
Step 7: MICROWAVE THE WHOLE DOGS FOR 15 SECONDS TO BRING THE BUN/CONDOMENT HEAT UP TO ACCEPTABLE LEVELS. IF YOU EAT COLD CONDIMENTS ON A BURGER OR HOTDOG WITH A ROOM TEMPERATURE BUN I DO NOT WANT TO ASSOCIATE WITH YOU AND PLEASE LEAVE.
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Well fuck you @Cats Don't make me give you the eye.

I like my coffee room temperature, unmelted cheese on my burgs and my condiments on dogs cold like Martin Luther intended. If it weren't for your innovative research on teen ninja turts and your traumatic experience with Beak Things I'd have some stronger words for you.

Also why is "unmelted" identified as incorrect in Brave with the nonsensical and nonexistent word "unmeted" suggested as a replacement?

EDIT: I will admit your scoring technique is effective and necessary for good dogs cooked using multiple platforms. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day I suppose. Interesting you understand the principles of DET, despite your primitive rig,...we should compare notes sometime.
 
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Anyhow tonight was the big "Eat Off" where we all crowded around a big table and checked to see who could eat 40 Bigfoot Dogs first. it was me and about 20 other men and women and it was a tense time until they brought out the plates of dogs and we started chowing down. What they didn't say was that Bigfoot Dogs are not normal hot dogs they are the biggest ones they make so it took a really long time to eat more than 2 or 3.

I had a very good strategy of screaming after each dog to keep count and to shatter the concentration of my opponents but it became clear that the simple screams weren't doing anything so i also shouted some things like "I'm Gonna Lose It... I'm Gonna Lose My Dogs!!" to try and make people run off during the show but that just made them get closer and check me out. By the 9th huge hotdog i was still standing but laying my torso on the table in front of me exhausted from the eating pains and breathing really heavy with meat bits falling out of my mouth.
 
Cats said:
Anyhow tonight was the big "Eat Off" where we all crowded around a big table and checked to see who could eat 40 Bigfoot Dogs first. it was me and about 20 other men and women and it was a tense time until they brought out the plates of dogs and we started chowing down. What they didn't say was that Bigfoot Dogs are not normal hot dogs they are the biggest ones they make so it took a really long time to eat more than 2 or 3.

I had a very good strategy of screaming after each dog to keep count and to shatter the concentration of my opponents but it became clear that the simple screams weren't doing anything so i also shouted some things like "I'm Gonna Lose It... I'm Gonna Lose My Dogs!!" to try and make people run off during the show but that just made them get closer and check me out. By the 9th huge hotdog i was still standing but laying my torso on the table in front of me exhausted from the eating pains and breathing really heavy with meat bits falling out of my mouth.
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What of the bun situation? Were you allowed condiments?
 
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