Chris and Suicide

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Successful suicide takes a lot of thought and planning to carry out. How should I aim the firearm so I die rather than become a vegetable? How should I take these pills so I don't just vomit them up? What is the the proper way to tie and hang a noose? Chris is probably too shortsighted and stupid to plan something like suicide out. As others have mentioned, he'll just kill himself slowly by eating fast food and wallowing in his own misery.
 
If Chris did decide to do it via hanging, I can't see it being successful.

"Mm yeah, the, uh, the noose dere wouldn', uh, hold me. Mm."
 
Like OPL said to his dad in the infamous "Bob walks in" audio:

I'm not going to kill myself!

This was true back then, it's true now.

Although if Chris had the means and guts to attempt suicide, he'd screw it up so badly it wouldn't be funny. He fails at life, he'd fail at death.
 
Mourning Dove said:
Successful suicide takes a lot of thought and planning to carry out. How should I aim the firearm so I die rather than become a vegetable? How should I take these pills so I don't just vomit them up? What is the the proper way to tie and hang a noose? Chris is probably too shortsighted and stupid to plan something like suicide out. As others have mentioned, he'll just kill himself slowly by eating fast food and wallowing in his own misery.
Click to expand...

I was going to say that he is already committing suicide with fast food.
 
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