Lovequest Chris and the Hooker

[Gensdupays]

"that my mother enjoyed in the past"

 

[Randall Fragg]

What?

Wait, what if this means...
Chris has a child?

 

[Gazelle_Bro]

Chris only knew about weed from South Park and Family Guy. Why am I not surprised?

 

[Cuck Norris]

The fact that he contacted her again a few hours later says so much about him. And that he believed what a hooker had to say about his bent duck.

 

[liquidchris4lyfe]

I gave her a sample of my strong-handed massage that my mother enjoyed in the past.

You know when you laugh only because it's terrible. Yeah...

Also, I'm a little disturbed by the semen getting out of the condom.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Also, I'm a little disturbed by the semen getting out of the condom.

Again, I really don't want to think about this too hard, but it was probably just lube. What I'm getting from this whole thing is that, even having had sex, Chris knows nothing about sex.

 

[asperhes]

He told her about the trolls.

 

[The Doctor]

Then we conversed for the rest of the $150 hour; it was very pleasant.

I'm sure Mia was very honoured to sit there and listen about how Chris is the creator of Sonichu and Rosechu and how much the trolls have made his life a misery

 

[Male Idiot]

Then we conversed for the rest of the $150 hour; it was very pleasant.

I'm sure Mia was very honoured to sit there and listen about how Chris is the creator of Sonichu and Rosechu and how much the trolls have made his life a misery

I don't think that was the hardest thing she had to do that day.

 

[Nikolai Drozdov]

Oh man, this month is a gold mine.
Stripping casually, giving a prostitute a massage that your mom also really enjoys and approximately 3 minutes of you lying on your back while she mentally went to her happy place. And for desert you tell her your favorite jokes from cartoons. And all that for 150 dollars. Congratulations Chris, you're a man now!

On the plus side: I won't cringe that hard anymore from now on when I remember my first time.

 

[CatParty]

Your US tax dollars at work

 

[blackie toy]

Plus, I may well likely see her again another month, when she's in town, and if I'm not in jail.

What a worry-wart.

 

[Marvin]

Aha, we get to leak the hooker story!

In an effort to momentarily ignore some of the more horrifying and facepalm-inducing parts of this story, it strikes me that he appears to have spent a significant portion of his time just talking with the escort instead of spending the entire time having sex. I'm sure some degree of that could be a result of his surprisingly low sex drive (or so many have suggested), and now that he had his trophy, there was no need to go again -- but I also wonder if he just really is so desperate for people to talk to beyond Barb that he'd happily pay $150 for a conversation with a pretty girl.

Y'know, I think virgins like Chris are probably preferable to ordinary customers for hookers. She can make him jizz himself quick and get paid $150 to listen to him babble at her for an hour. There are worse ways to make $150.

 

[Haesindang Park]

I personally feel sorry for the children whose mother has to commit prostitution to live. Even worse is that their mother has to do OPL.

 

[The Doctor]

Congratulations Chris, you're a man now!

Complete with his own theme tune

The fact that he contacted her again a few hours later says so much about him. And that he believed what a hooker had to say about his bent duck.

Well Chris has stated that his duck is no longer bent and is totally longer then it use to be. Despite the tomgirl pics proving otherwise.

 

[Shadow]

You'd have to be high to be in that business with customers like Chris.

I wonder what she thought the moment she noticed Chris was slow in da mind, I know that business tries its best not to discriminate but I'd think even escort services like that have their limits.

 

[Hyperion]

How erotically autistic.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

And now you all know how Chris lost his non-cultural virginity.

 

[drmccoy]

I am reading this on my iPad while watching tv and cringed in s very visible way when I read the "mother/massage" part.

For thousands of men every year this is just a way to get sex. For Chris it was a life changing event to blab about to people he's just barely met. And, of course, he had to drone about the fucking conspirisy/trolls. I would think that $150 was too little to endure the droning boredom of Chris talking about his shitty, boring life and mental illness.

Oh, and yes, of course your duck was big. After all, your dumbass has a garunteed$150 next month.

 

[XH 502]

"I found her clit, yet she was very clear about me keeping my fingers Outside"

This, personally, is the highlight of the whole scene for me. Poor Mia is willing to mount Chris, but his dirty fingers are where she draws the line. It really puts in perspective how adverse the non-existent lesbian sweetheart would be towards being fingered by OPL.