Chris as a parent/partner

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Lefty's Revenge said:
He'd make a facebook post reminding us to put all gifts inside of his mailbox and not on his lawn or doorstep.
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"Anyway; Babies Are Weird!"
 
His wife would mostly take care of the baby since that's women's work. He'd just be the house husband.
 
Descent said:
His wife would mostly take care of the baby since that's women's work. He'd just be the house husbandchild.
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Chris would completely fail as a parent or partner. He would want to do nothing but sit at home and play with his kid's toys while his wife (or husband) made all the dough. Then, when they came home, he'd wait for the to cook the meal, he'd eat it, and then go into the bedroom where he'd expect them to do all the work while he just lay there and think of the better high-school days.

As a parent, he'd take his kid's toys for himself, the whole time complaining about how his money is paying for someone else. He's already shown that he can't control himself around children; for example, the gameplace has given us insight about how Chris will yell at kids if they start getting too noisy... and by "yell" I mean he shouts so that he's louder than them to get their attention. Can you image? The neighbors would call social services within DAYS of that kid coming home from the hospital.
 
Fatboy is sterile and repugnant. This is proof of a loving God.
 
Chris would be lazy and neglectful. He would pass the baby off onto the mother or Barb so he can play vidya. He wouldn't know the first thing about being a parent, or being a boyfriend/husband/partner/whatever for that matter. Being a parent means putting your kids before your wants and needs and Chris is completely incapable of that.

But seeing as how the only way Chris can get China is to pay for it, we've got nothing to worry about.
 
The Dude said:
Chris would be lazy and neglectful. He would pass the baby off onto the mother or Barb so he can play vidya. He wouldn't know the first thing about being a parent, or being a boyfriend/husband/partner/whatever for that matter. Being a parent means putting your kids before your wants and needs and Chris is completely incapable of that.

But seeing as how the only way Chris can get China is to pay for it, we've got nothing to worry about.
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Say, what do you think would happen if Chris was placed in a hypothetical scenario where he was forced - absolutely forced - to be a productive parent?

Like, if people held weapons to his head and monitored him 24/7. Do you think he would change?
 
Dreamatorium said:
The Dude said:
Chris would be lazy and neglectful. He would pass the baby off onto the mother or Barb so he can play vidya. He wouldn't know the first thing about being a parent, or being a boyfriend/husband/partner/whatever for that matter. Being a parent means putting your kids before your wants and needs and Chris is completely incapable of that.

But seeing as how the only way Chris can get China is to pay for it, we've got nothing to worry about.
Click to expand...

Say, what do you think would happen if Chris was placed in a hypothetical scenario where he was forced - absolutely forced - to be a productive parent?

Like, if people held weapons to his head and monitored him 24/7. Do you think he would change?
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Pfft, no, he'd try bargaining with his captors as soon as he would have to do anything.

I'm surprised this hasn't been said yet, BABIES ARE EXPENSIVE!
 
Dreamatorium said:
Say, what do you think would happen if Chris was placed in a hypothetical scenario where he was forced - absolutely forced - to be a productive parent?

Like, if people held weapons to his head and monitored him 24/7. Do you think he would change?
Click to expand...

What if his arms were made of red licorice?
 
Tubular Monkey said:
Dreamatorium said:
Say, what do you think would happen if Chris was placed in a hypothetical scenario where he was forced - absolutely forced - to be a productive parent?

Like, if people held weapons to his head and monitored him 24/7. Do you think he would change?
Click to expand...

What if his arms were made of red licorice?
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What if his dick was bigger than previously photographed and no longer bent?
 
Spend his tugboat on someone other than himself? Let's just say that the bitching would be heard from space.
 
Lefty's Revenge said:
I can't wrap my head around anyone who would want to take Chris on as a partner right now though. No :alog: . Chris probably isn't capable of any sort of real relationship. He brings virtually nothing to the table except for his tugboat and probably doesn't see a problem with that. His other problems aside, thats enough to disqualify him right there. No one wants that. No one. No matter how mentally disturbed or disfigured they'd be. I can't imagine anyone getting to know Chris and thinking "This is probably the best I can do. Better tie him down before someone comes along."
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I don't know much about America's immigration policy, and I'm not sure how attractive a destination America has been since the economic downturn, but would a green-card marriage maybe be within the realm of possibility?
 
Dynastia said:
I don't know much about America's immigration policy, and I'm not sure how attractive a destination America has been since the economic downturn, but would a green-card marriage maybe be within the realm of possibility?
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There are many MANY paces around the world, where the status quo is much worse than living in a hoard with Christian Weston Chandler. You don't even need to leave the US. I know women who would would probably consider living with a mentally challenged repugnant worm like Chris, just for a roof over their head, a mattress to sleep on, and a blanket to crawl under as welcome respite from an abusive family member or partner. I'm not embellishing in the slightest. When you're hungry, tired, physically beaten, or emotionally broken enough, 14BC can seem like paradise - especially if Barb were no longer in the picture. Chris would be an easy mark to manipulate, and you could rule the roost. I just hope Chris really is as sterile, as Cole is probably impotent, ending that branch of the Chandler curse. No child could survive his negligence and clumsiness for very long.
 
Dreamatorium said:
The Dude said:
Chris would be lazy and neglectful. He would pass the baby off onto the mother or Barb so he can play vidya. He wouldn't know the first thing about being a parent, or being a boyfriend/husband/partner/whatever for that matter. Being a parent means putting your kids before your wants and needs and Chris is completely incapable of that.

But seeing as how the only way Chris can get China is to pay for it, we've got nothing to worry about.
Click to expand...

Say, what do you think would happen if Chris was placed in a hypothetical scenario where he was forced - absolutely forced - to be a productive parent?

Like, if people held weapons to his head and monitored him 24/7. Do you think he would change?
Click to expand...

Were that the case, I suspect Coleslaw would quickly receive this on his Twitter account:

"You Ought to be Here, diapering my baby, so I can have my freedom to find MY Sweetheart."

Tubular Monkey said:
Dreamatorium said:
Say, what do you think would happen if Chris was placed in a hypothetical scenario where he was forced - absolutely forced - to be a productive parent?

Like, if people held weapons to his head and monitored him 24/7. Do you think he would change?
Click to expand...

What if his arms were made of red licorice?
Click to expand...

Do you mean to imply they're not?
 
GFYS said:
Dynastia said:
I don't know much about America's immigration policy, and I'm not sure how attractive a destination America has been since the economic downturn, but would a green-card marriage maybe be within the realm of possibility?
Click to expand...
There are many MANY paces around the world, where the status quo is much worse than living in a hoard with Christian Weston Chandler. You don't even need to leave the US. I know women who would would probably consider living with a mentally challenged repugnant worm like Chris, just for a roof over their head, a mattress to sleep on, and a blanket to crawl under as welcome respite from an abusive family member or partner. I'm not embellishing in the slightest. When you're hungry, tired, physically beaten, or emotionally broken enough, 14BC can seem like paradise - especially if Barb were no longer in the picture. Chris would be an easy mark to manipulate, and you could rule the roost. I just hope Chris really is as sterile, as Coleslaw is probably impotent, ending that branch of the Chandler curse. No child could survive his negligence and clumsiness for very long.
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Move in, clean out the hoard, and resign yourself that the price of your new-found freedom is to be nanny to a perpetual manchild? I could actually see some desperate woman picking up that option.
 
I agree that he would take a half-assed approach that would border on severe neglect. I think it would be interspersed with periods of intense smothering, and forcing age inappropriate activities on the child. He would be playing with legos and childish vidya with him/her long before and long after the child had any interest. There might be a period between the ages of 6 and 10 where they had common tastes, and if there was an attentive mother/nanny, the child might have a positive relationship with him.
 
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