Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
Yeah, more or less. I’ve been a cat owner for over 15 years and never had that happen where I allowed a small kitten to get trapped in a room all day. Yeah, I get that shit happens but Sorbet should’ve been kept more or less in an enclosed area. Pollo is a different case since they actually liked Chris and was affectionate to him
If you google "cat locked in room by accident" there are stories about that kind of thing happening.

Why should Sorbet have been kept in an enclosed area at the time?

but remember that letting Sorbet roam freely is what led him to basically dying.

I’m not saying Chris wasn’t upset, but common sense, dude.
The room incident happened before that.

Chris did ultimately make a bad decision by letting Sorbet roam outdoors after the car accident, But the room incident was an accident, not even by him, but by Barb.
 
Why should Sorbet have been kept in an enclosed area at the time?
I used the term "small kitten" for a reason. When you're bringing a new cat into a home you need to basically make sure they're in an area where they can't get into fights with other pets and also so they can be socialized properly. Sorbet literally went from being part of a litter to getting scooped up by Chris and there needs to be an adjustment period. If 14BC wasn't one gigantic dumpster then there'd be plenty of places Sorbet could freely roam around without worrying about his safety.

If you google "cat locked in room by accident" there are stories about that kind of thing happening.
>Google says those things happen
>Somehow justifies the action.

There are many stories about many terrible things happening to cats and that doesn't make the occurence any less at the fault of the owner.
The room incident happened before that.

Chris did ultimately make a bad decision by letting Sorbet roam outdoors after the car accident, But the room incident was an accident, not even by him, but by Barb.
What about the other Chandler cats that slowly disappeared over the years from neglect?
 
I used the term "small kitten" for a reason. When you're bringing a new cat into a home you need to basically make sure they're in an area where they can't get into fights with other pets and also so they can be socialized properly. Sorbet literally went from being part of a litter to getting scooped up by Chris and there needs to be an adjustment period. If 14BC wasn't one gigantic dumpster then there'd be plenty of places Sorbet could freely roam around without worrying about his safety.
Chris mentioned that he had been keeping Sorbet in his current bedroom in the beginning. The room incident was three months after that.
>Google says those things happen
>Somehow justifies the action.

There are many stories about many terrible things happening to cats and that doesn't make the occurence any less at the fault of the owner.

What about the other Chandler cats that slowly disappeared over the years from neglect?
I just think Chris isn't to blame for that specific situation, it was an accident that stemmed from Sorbet exploring a new space while Barb didn't double check if any pets had slipped in before closing the door.
 
I believe it was purely a generational thing with Bob. Barb was older when she had Chris, but she certainly wasn't senior citizen discount at Golden Corral elderly like Bob was. I think deep down she always secretly desired the current dynamic between herself and Chris. All the coddling and shitty parenting on her part was either deliberate or subconsciously motivated by a desire to have a dysfunctional adult child who could not abandon her like the rest of her family, regardless of how awful she is to them or how badly the child (Chris in this case) may have desired some independence during his youth. Bob just went along with it because, as you said, he genuinely had antiquated ideas about what it means to get someone "the help they need" when it comes to something like autism and didn't really think there were good alternatives. Plus the guy was ancient, had already lived enough of life for two people at least, and was just too fucking tired and worn out to really put up any resistance.
I'll never get why some people paint Barb as some sort of mastermind that subconsciously engineered Chris to be the person he is now out of a desire to have someone to control and depend on. Let's call a spade a spade, Barb was a shit mom and that's all there's to it.
Granted, she had a child at an older age when she was just trying to live her elder years and have fun, but she did look like she tried to love and raise Chris proper. Problem is Chris came out different. And I agree with you, Bob and her didn't know how to handle a child with autism and by the time Chris got old they realized it was too late to fix it so they sort of let him exist. Chris is the man he is because his parents didn't know how to raise him and he was raised by both TV and the Internet. But I can't agree with the theory that Barb raised Chris wrong out of a subconcsious desire to have him with her all her life. I just think Barb was a bad parent.
 
tried to love and raise Chris proper.
I don't know if emotional manipulation counts as love. Plus Barb hardly raised him; it was Bob. He was already retired and after the Greene County elementary shitshow, Bob and Chris moved to another county, while Barb stayed and still worked at Virginia Power. Her contribution to Chris' upbringing is bribing him with toys to get him to talk.

Now that I think about this, this scenario could have been the starting point as to why Chris envisioned himself as a stay at home dad.

Barb made sure that Chris had to stay with her. She threatened Chris by changing the locks on the door after his Ohio trip (Chris was 26 and was free to do anything he wanted to). She threatened to kill herself to keep Chris from going to a convention. If Cole was the same as Chris, she'd have two autistic sons catering to her every whim. She knew what she did to Cole and Cole was smart enough to leave. Chris didn't have that and he's pretty much suffering for it now.
 
I'll never get why some people paint Barb as some sort of mastermind that subconsciously engineered Chris to be the person he is now out of a desire to have someone to control and depend on. Let's call a spade a spade, Barb was a shit mom and that's all there's to it.
Granted, she had a child at an older age when she was just trying to live her elder years and have fun, but she did look like she tried to love and raise Chris proper. Problem is Chris came out different. And I agree with you, Bob and her didn't know how to handle a child with autism and by the time Chris got old they realized it was too late to fix it so they sort of let him exist. Chris is the man he is because his parents didn't know how to raise him and he was raised by both TV and the Internet. But I can't agree with the theory that Barb raised Chris wrong out of a subconcsious desire to have him with her all her life. I just think Barb was a bad parent.
She threatened to kill herself over Chris going to gay bars and conventions in an effort to control him. She contributed to the main hoarding dillema, essentially forcing them all to live in filth because Bob was to old to care at that point in his life, it contributed to a wide array of health problems, and prevented them form accessing certain parts of the house when necessary (they couldn't even cook meals in the kitchen, so they always bought junk food, appliances weren't in their proper place, which indirectly lead to the house fire as well).

She has never tried or attempted to (at least as far as we are aware) prevent Chris from getting into any further debt trouble, or at minimum provide him with a somewhat comfortable future, by helping him apply for section 8 housing or some sort of group home (I'm sure that old rag has plenty of time on her hands to at least initiate some of these matters). You can also find numerous examples of her being incredibly manipulative and an enabler for this child
coddling like behaviour that surrounds Chris completely as some sort deranged autistic man child monstrosity, for the internet to only mock and laugh at.

It's not my hill to die on, but I'm only scraping the bottom of the barrel with this woman, I can bring up more examples if you want.

Chris himself is the main reason for a lot of his problems without a doubt that's for sure, and having shitty parents doesn't help, but Barb is no innocent women, she's a main culprit in forming the man that he ended up becoming. She birthed him, raised him, and has lived under her roof his entire life.
 
Last edited:
I don't know if emotional manipulation counts as love. Plus Barb hardly raised him; it was Bob. He was already retired and after the Greene County elementary shitshow, Bob and Chris moved to another county, while Barb stayed and still worked at Virginia Power. Her contribution to Chris' upbringing is bribing him with toys to get him to talk.
She threatened to kill herself over Chris going to gay bars and conventions in an effort to control him. She contributed to the main hoarding dillema, essentially forcing them all to live in filth because Bob was to old to care at that point in his life, it contributed to a wide array of health problems, and prevented them form accessing certain parts of the house when necessary (they couldn't even cook meals in the kitchen, so they always bought junk food, appliances weren't in their proper place, which indirectly lead to the house fire as well).

She has never tried or attempted to (at least as far as we are aware) prevent Chris from getting into any further debt trouble, or at minimum provide him with a somewhat comfortable future, by helping him apply for section 8 housing or some sort of group home (I'm sure that old rag has plenty of time on her hands to at least initiate some of these matters). You can also find numerous examples of her being incredibly manipulative and an enabler for this child
coddling like behaviour that surrounds Chris completely as some sort deranged autistic man child monstrosity, for the internet to only mock and laugh at.

It's not my hill to die on, but I'm only scraping the bottom of the barrel with this woman, I can bring up more examples if you want.

Chris himself is the main reason for a lot of his problems without a doubt that's for sure, and having shitty parents doesn't help, but Barb is no innocent women, she's a main culprit in forming the man that he ended up becoming. She birthed him, raised him, and has lived under her roof his entire life.
When I said "She tried to raise him" I meant when he was a kid. Again, I'm not defending her. I just said he IS a shit parent. But all of these examples come from when Chris was already an adult. And as I said, I feel like when Chris grew up and she noticed her son was 20 shades of special she just cut that "Mother-son" relationship with him and started treating him like an asset.

My point was: Barb didn't orchestrate Chris to be the way he is out of a subconscious desire to keep him around. She just was a horrible parent when he was a kid, and a horrible woman when he was an adult. The fact that Chris decided to stay with her all of her life it's just a side-effect of all of her mistakes, not a big plan like many people try to theorize about her.
 
When I said "She tried to raise him" I meant when he was a kid. Again, I'm not defending her. I just said he IS a shit parent. But all of these examples come from when Chris was already an adult. And as I said, I feel like when Chris grew up and she noticed her son was 20 shades of special she just cut that "Mother-son" relationship with him and started treating him like an asset.

My point was: Barb didn't orchestrate Chris to be the way he is out of a subconscious desire to keep him around. She just was a horrible parent when he was a kid, and a horrible woman when he was an adult. The fact that Chris decided to stay with her all of her life it's just a side-effect of all of her mistakes, not a big plan like many people try to theorize about her.
But we know from Cole that Barb was like that even before Chris was born. We also know that her abuse/manipulation extended to and resulted in the alienation of other relatives, like when she tried to steal her sister's (?) husband. What you're saying isn't unreasonable, though. If it wasn't for Barb's extensive history and experience, I would agree with you on the basis that it's the simplest explanation. However, Barb definitely already had a good idea of how the people around her viewed her abusive tendencies and what the consequences of them were when she had Chris. Moreover, certain types of coddling and weirdness seem to be exclusive to Chris. For example, the spooning and weird pet names. Maybe fostering that sort of unhealthy attachment was a deliberate attempt to prevent Chris from ultimately abandoning/despising her.
 
When I said "She tried to raise him" I meant when he was a kid. Again, I'm not defending her. I just said he IS a shit parent. But all of these examples come from when Chris was already an adult. And as I said, I feel like when Chris grew up and she noticed her son was 20 shades of special she just cut that "Mother-son" relationship with him and started treating him like an asset.

My point was: Barb didn't orchestrate Chris to be the way he is out of a subconscious desire to keep him around. She just was a horrible parent when he was a kid, and a horrible woman when he was an adult. The fact that Chris decided to stay with her all of her life it's just a side-effect of all of her mistakes, not a big plan like many people try to theorize about her.
I mean if Barb didn't have a history of being a shitty person that burned any bridge she came across then I'd agree with you, but Barb has a long history of abuse and frequently being a manipulative cunt to both Chris and Bob. She enabled all of Chris' shitty tendencies and used him as her personal slave to make sure to be on top of Bob. Bob is not any better but he at least tried to make something out of Chris unlike Barb who wanted him to never leave her and took advantage his mental instability.

If this was anyone else then yeah she'd be a shitty mom, but given how excessive Barb was in her actions even the shit she did when Chris was an adult is a horrible way and only made him a stay at home manchild for her even back in the Classic Days
 
You know, if I was a Sorbet, I would try to stay away from Baker's Chandler's house as often as possible too, but still there is the video where Chris drags his wheezing cat who's clearly in pain to get the pity donations and it makes me wish that Chris would finally zap his balls with a taser to the extreme.
 
You know, if I was a Sorbet, I would try to stay away from Baker's Chandler's house as often as possible too, but still there is the video where Chris drags his wheezing cat who's clearly in pain to get the pity donations and it makes me wish that Chris would finally zap his balls with a taser to the extreme.
Welcome to the family boy.
 

Attachments

  • 5ak3j7.jpg
    5ak3j7.jpg
    110.9 KB · Views: 99
Oh what did I take it from this?

1) There's an interesting dichotomy between Doopie and the Convention. One is a girl protected by a pseudonym, the boundary of the internet, and a geographical distant of X amount of miles from Christine. X I presume is anything from 50 to 2000 miles. The second is the convention attendees, where they have Chris in front of them, no viable escape as they're usually behind booths, convention panels, or in queues. One is absolutely annoyed by Chris and just wants them to fuck off, money and all and the other is polite and courteous, perhaps only by the laws of showbiz perceptions and fan expectations. Chris has no idea to differentiate the two, and genuinely believed the convention appreciated him. The dancing alone says otherwise...

2) But then when I heard Chris say this was the happiest he's ever been, it made me wonder. Was this some hyperbole, or was it because with a tiny bit of imagination he could pretend it was his merge? Okay this was pre-merge dogma, but he still liked to imagine other dimensions, and like some rift or tear between here and Hell, the fabric of reality thinned in those halls laden with bronies and body odour. Was his childhood so depressing? Or was he just quick to forget as usual all the things he had: toys and pets and little of substance. Then, has Chris ever cared for substance?

3) His annoyance at the dogs barking and his own mother during a live stream was fascinating. He had lost all train of thought, and was making raspberry noises for a good 2-3 minutes prior to this, but when his mother appeared it was an affront to his genius, as he laid out his magnum opus explanation of issue 12.9

4) THIS is what pissed me off the most. I've bitched about it a few times (my own cat Tiger dying, and me naively giving money to Sorbet's vet bills) when I learned he was pissing it on Rule 34 commissions for a Patreon. Bigger the idiot me, but this is roughly the point when I truly knew of Chris and got involved. Prior to that, the pepper spray and sonichu comic were just vague whispers. Wow, it's amazing to think this was after Trump's election.

5) Chris thinking he'd fooled anybody with his own white knight doppelganger account was laughable. It went to show he has no knowledge of strategy and deceit beyond the childish cunning of pouting to get what you want. Notice how someone with a degree was only working at a few McDonalds in the area... probably like Nurse Jenny, you walk into any Virginia McDonalds and the same copy paste tranny is there serving you. It goes to show that Chris doesn't know what you're supposed to use a university education for, and that the McDonalds stuff is meant to be pre-graduation pocket change.

6) The wrong pronoun and poker story got me thinking. Chris had some wins.... and lost it chasing. This is Chris all over; any gain is destroyed by his pursuit in all things Chris. Then because of one misgendering he gives the evil eye like he's Stalin and has the power to gulag you. Then again, in Cwcville he does (Free the Alec-Four!). Remember, if you fuck with Chris, he can destroy you, provided you agree to fight him within the boundaries of his own mind.

In a nutshell, this whole episode was: Reality tries to tell Chris-Chan he's unlikeable, and he asks for a second opinion.
 
Back