Chris-chan the movie

[Uzumaki]

Act One: Introduce the characters and the status quo

Act Two: Shake up the status quo, end with the characters in the worst possible situation with all hope seemingly lost.

Act Three: The characters start to succeed in achieving their goals, ending with a final triumph and then epilogue.

Rules: You can't invent characters or scenes, although you can combine them. No sequels. You can choose what period of Chris's life to cover in your movie (so it could focus on classic Chris, or it could start with the house fire, whatever). Your maximum running time is 2 and a half hours, and the producers start to get antsy at the 2 hour mark. You must follow the three act structure because innovation would cause the entire film industry to explode.

Go.

 

[exball]

Molly Ringwald as Barb.

 

[Roger Rabbit]

Patton Oswalt as Chris.

 

[Dr. Meme]

Steve Buschemi as Everyone

 

[cypocryphy]

Fatman as Chris

 

[BT 075]

Daniel Day-Lewis as Clyde Cash. And he has to live like Clyde Cash for a full year to get into character.

 

[The Joker]

Bruce Vilance as Chris.

 

[Zorceror44]

I imagine the writers for this would probably take some creative liberties when writing the script, so there willbe some Christorical inaccuracies. I imagine the first act to take up around 45 minutes.

ACT ONE:

We start out with a short montage of Chris's life prior to 2007 (His birth, the Greene County Incident, etc). After the montage, it shows Chris on his computer. He sighs because no cute girls are messaging him online. He then has a talk with Bob and Barb about his struggle. Bob suggests maybe he should go out and get some girls at the mall. So Chris goes upstairs to make an attraction sign. He then goes out into the mall holding his sign. Then Mary Lee Walsh comes along, breaks the sign, and scolds him. Chris gets mad and throws a tantrum in the story before being tackled by security.He then goes home to cry. Then he gets the idea to draw the first Sonichu to vent out his anger. Then he starts to draw more and more comics and uploads them onto the internet. The perspective then shifts to a 4channer who finds the Sonichu website and shows it to all of his friends.

Well, that's all I have for Act One. Hopefully I find the time to write Acts 2 and 3. Although I will allow posters after me to contribute.

 

[KingofManga420]

Jeffrey Tambor as Bob Chandler.

 

[Ravenor]

Rosie O'donnell as tomgirl era Chris.

 

[Queen of Tarts]

Ethan Suplee, mainly as Chris when he had the facial hair.

Act One - Da sweetheart search begins!

Act Two - Da dang dirty trolls done fooled me!

Act Three - A new sweetheart appears, is she real or is she a troll? Do we really have to ask?

 

[Dr. Mario]

[GALLERY=media, 25][/GALLERY]

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Christopher Lee has to be Bob.

 

[wristwatchswisswatch]

Steve Buschemi as Everyone

Seconded, I need work.

 

[SocknessHunter829]

(I created a thread for this myself, but it was locked. Imma post it here)

I’d actually make it a miniseries, as there’s too much shit to fit into one movie. This miniseries would be a part black comedy, part drama, part cautionary tale. What I’m thinking is that the series can have someone as the real Chris (Robin Williams, Chris Farley and Phillip Seymour Hoffman are dead, so I honestly think that Jonah Hill is our best bet) and someone else as how Chris sees himself (I think Michael Cera would work). The series would switch between Chris’s perspective on his life and Chris’s reality. We can have all the “sweethearts” be played by super hot girls, sometimes change reality to make it go the way Chris wanted, etc. Let’s also try to come up with a director that has a unique, no limits style of comedy. Let’s also try to make Chris a sympathetic figure (as a joke) while still making him an insufferable autistic cunt.

Cast (tell me any suggestions to change):
Jonah Hill as real Chris
Michael Cera as CWCville Chris
Kathy Bates as Barb
Dustin Hoffman as Bob
Edward Norton as Cole
Meryl Streep as Mary Lee Walsh (reality)
Cate Blanchett as Mary Lee Walsh (CWCville)
Betty White as Rocky Shoemaker
Chris Pratt as Sonichu
Tara Strong (unlikely) as Rosechu
Craig Robinson as Black Sonichu
Adam Sandler as Wild
Kristen Wiig as Bubbles
Bill Hader as Magi-Chan
Amy Poehler as Angelica
Jackie Chan as Punchy
Jennifer Lawrence as Megan
Gal Gadot as Blanca
Ariana Grande as Julie
Some kid as BlueSpike
Emma Stone as Ivy
Vanessa Hudgens as Vanessa Hudgens
Kristen Stewart as Kacey
Paul Rudd as Kacey’s father
Megan Fox as Jackie
Seth Rogen as Adam Stackhouse
Danny McBride as Jason Kendrick Howell
James Franco as Clyde Cash
Jeff Goldblum as Michael Snyder
Idris Elba as The Pickle Man
Oscar Issac as Joshua Martinez
Jon Stewart as Liquid
Seth McFarlane as Alec Benson Leary
Sacha Baron Cohen as Surfshack Tito
Eminem as Lars
Heather Materazzo as The Wallflower

 

[Jason Wynn]

Frank Silva would be a perfect Bob.