Chris' funniest one-liner

[Saney]

the #1 no doubt about it:

Spoiler

Jack: Yeah, that's why they shelter you like you're a baby. You know what? My parents threw me out when I turned eighteen. You know why they threw me out?
Chris: Hmm... probably because they couldn't stand you?

Ah yes, that was actually an impressive moment for Chris. The one time he actually managed successfully insult a troll.

 

[JULAY]

"...sometimes we have our accidents, we poop ourselves! Yeah, and den we end up with dirty pants."

The combination of his enthusiastic delivery and matter-of-fact tone give the unmistakable impression that the subtext is, "Yep, sometimes we shit ourselves, no use fightin' it, it's gonna happen!"

 

[Saney]

"I was blindfolded during the whole thing, feeling an 8-year old's dick up my ass."
Chris, somehow thinking that what he said was normal and that people would believe that.

 

[CatParty]

"A thousand pounds of sausages on my 180 pound body was seriously a cut-off for my Breathing Flow."

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

I have numbers of pairs of DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS

 

[Zap Rowsdower]

"My mommy and I--my, my family and I..."

 

[spaps]

"Fuck off, fuck-face."
I take back the other one I said.

 

[CatParty]

"Fuck off, fuck-face."
I take back the other one I said.

exactly. this is now probably the quote that best describes him now

 

[Organic Fapcup]

"Fuck off, fuck-face."
I take back the other one I said.

exactly. this is now probably the quote that best describes him now

Gonna go ahead and agree with that. It's so sad.

 

[EzioCanLeapofFaith]

I like:
"Is this Walter Gritzby? Who threw a frisbee? Well you know what? RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!!!!!"

 

[InaudibleSlink]

"Mr Sindenaro because you have no money"

For some reason the way he delivers the line is truly amazing.

 

[KatsuKitty]

I have NUMBERS of PAIRS of DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS

 

[BigAltheGreat921]

Oh god, there are so many.

--I HAVE NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS!
--I'm not a pedofork, you dorks!
--I recycle my own semen...
--Goes down salty...
--My name is not IAN BRANDON SOMETHING!
--I'LL BREAK YOU DEAD!
--I'm gonna do a Parkay from this point, all the way down to the parking garage.

 

[OR 345]

"I'll send in detectives! I'll send in police! I'll send in EVERYTHING IN MY POWER!"

 

[DevilDog]

^ xD I forgot about that one, so hilarious

 

[cypocryphy]

"I pray to god and jesus to kill Jason Kendrick Howell!"

The big man upstairs is his own personal hitman.

 

[random_pickle]

"Uhcrepsa etah... uhcrepsa etah...Y uhcinos evol... uhcinos evol... "

And Chris thought that would actually work?

 

[ChrisIsGay]

"I'M RETARDED. But am I perfect? No"

 

[Judge Holden]

EEEEEEEEEEENNNNGGGG ILLL STRANGLE THAT CLYDE CASH!!! ILL PAUNCH HIS LIGHTS OUT

Or maybe

Trollin stupid, pickle suited, Nigger!

Or for a more nightmarish one

Ill be in your dreams

 

[DevilDog]

Oh man, these are awesome