Chris is going to Everfree Northwest - (Update July 31st: Chris is not going to Everfree Northwest)

[Autistsforuganda2]

What will happen if barb dies while he is away

He'll shit himself and do nothing

 

[AnOminous]

I'd be willing to look at trains but I've only been on a US train once in my life. If anyone is more experienced with navigating cross-country on rail give me your pitch.

It's pretty cool especially if you're autistic. There are also trains with private rooms in them where Chris could sperg out to his heart's delight without bugging anyone, called Amtrak Viewliners. They even give you three meals a day along with the package.

I have no idea if they're available for the route/time.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

I'd be willing to pitch in if we can get him a first class ticket. The thought of the rich fucks in first having to deal with Chris is hilarious to me. Even if he stays quiet and is an angel for the entire flight they'd still get pissy about having him around.

 

[AnOminous]

I mean.. This is pretty comfy sounding, saves $300+, but it's 3 days in a chair. Chris won't get a room either unless you pay the fucking ridiculous $1500.

Oh well that's kind of a deal-breaker, unless he can rustle it up from Twitter retards which would be funny.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

I'm not going to Seattle at all and I'm not into the Brony/Pegasister scene. Null, are you going to meticulously map out what drawings he will do or schedule them? Will you supply Crayola products or materials of higher quality?

 

[CatParty]

All kidding aside, he probably wouldn’t be able to do the trip without some sort of chaperone to both keep him in line and keep him on schedule

 

[Second-Hand Boat Supplies]

I'd be willing to pitch in if we can get him a first class ticket. The thought of the rich fucks in first having to deal with Chris is hilarious to me. Even if he stays quiet and is an angel for the entire flight they'd still get pissy about having him around.

Love the sentiment, but the whole point of first-class accommodations is having space separating you from even the other first class passengers

 

[Gone Ham]

Just put him in a shopping crate and mail him across the country

 

[Jack Awful]

It would probably be best if Chris could travel with a group of people to babysit him and make sure he doesn't do a Home Alone 2 and accidentally get on a plane to New York.

 

[Frozen Fishsticks]

Photoshop a moon laser pointed at his house and tell him it will be destroyed if he leaves Ruckersville for Seattle and isn't there to psychically project a force shield or something.

Problem solved.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

One word of caution that hasn't been brought up yet is that an incident on a plane has a slim but possible chance of getting a huge amount of attention. Remember that Korean guy who flipped out, squealing while he was dragged off a plane a couple years back and became major national news? If something like that were to happen, the fallout would be unpredictable. I could see national outlets spinning the story to "website owner puts severally disabled person on a flight alone as a prank."

Overall, I fully support the intention though. He's the primary reason the site exists, so I totally respect null's want to ensure Chris doesn't die after falling asleep behind the wheel after 24 straight hours of driving.

Originally, I had been on board with letting Chris drive out west, but I think Null is correct in that won't lead to potentially ground shaking comedic value as would Chris getting on a plane in 2021 would be.

Allow me lay it out:

Spoiler: Pure speculation

Chris gets his ticket, hotel, everything's laid out for him. He happily heads on down to the airport. Uh oh, Chris doesn't have a RealID license to fly, but that's okay, that doesn't come into effect until 2023. Whew, that was a close one, no problems there, but Chris, being Chris, needs to bring along 100lbs of garbage, art, hardcopy issues of Sonichu (Gotta make an impression!), stalking art for the VAs that hate him, not to mention a ton of shit he doesn't need. Now he has to check some of it, that's an extra cost. Good, Chris has a little more money to spend on this, now it's the fun part, TSA security.

How well does Chris deal with authority? Just going through the metal detector with 8lbs of jewelry on will need to be taken off. The large black man that is his TSA agent is having no nonsense today, and listening to Chris whine and moan about why HE has to take off very piece of metal, and how it will upset his internal CPU, etc... Chris juuuust squeaks by, but what's this in his carry on? A water bottle with wires and a rock inside. That... doesn't look like something that should go on the plane. The pear shaped black lady TSA Agent tells him this, but no, this is needed. Now out comes a bunch of rocks and homemade duct tape shit, or light up crap that's been "modified". Nope, not getting on the plane. Somehow, with all the help from Magichan and Sonichu he gets through this hate crime.

Knowing how mature and level headed Chris is, he will no doubt completely understand and in no way do anything to upset Federal aviation security.

By some miracle, he manages to get through security. Great! Onto the gate! Two hours and he'll be on his way to the little horse convention. While malls are closing across the country, stores in airports aren't, and Chris has never seen these types of stores. Plopping down all his shit, he wanders off. There goes half his spending money on expensive airport shit. Meanwhile, the TSA just took all his stuff because he didn't want carry it around. Okay, he explains thing in a calm, reasonable way and gets his stuff back. Whew, close one.

Boarding. Obviously waiting until his row is called is something non magical deities do, so Chris just barges to the front, he's told to wait, but okay, he waits. Now it's his turn, a sweaty, greasy, balding middle aged man now has to carry all his hobo bags down the aisle of an airplane. Other passengers look on in horror as he waddles down the aisle, trying to find his seat. Luck's on Chris's side today, he's right next a sexy female woman!

The actual flight leaves on time. Now it's a roller coaster! Chris just has to make "loud shouts" and fart noises because this is so fun! Uh oh, his head starts hurting especially his ears, more loud shouting until he gets told to yawn. Now is the time to impress his seatmate, out comes the Sonichu shit, now it's about the trolls, now Chris is hungry and starts to shove expensive airport snacks into his mouth.

Time for a changeover in Chicago! Chris gets off, just manages to find his next gate and sits. Four hour layover. Chris isn't trapped at the airport with all those other people, all those other people are trapped at the airport with Chris.

Many hours later, Chris eventually makes it to Seattle, on the way to Bellevue. That wasn't so bad.

Now comes the return flights, after a weekend that makes Chris exhausted. He's depressed because it's the end of the convention, and he hasn't had much sleep. Now it's back to do the whole thing again, this time, Chris is cranky.

You are one master troll @Null, I have to hand it to you.

 

[Ball Breaker]

What will happen if barb dies while he is away

That would be pretty funny honestly.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I just wanna see Chris join Antifa and be promptly kicked out after saying, "Gross, I don't wanna touch weiners with a bunch of dudes".

 

[TaterBot]

I'm sure that by August, the record-breaking heat in Seattle will be gone and Chris won't sweat to death.

 

[Miss Misery]

Someone suggested a flight from D.C. which was a great suggestion. Saves a lot of money and there's a cheap nonstop in my air alliance. I think that's the winner.

Thanks, I used to be a ersatz travel agent in a past life.

 

[(not) y2k compliant]

All kidding aside, he probably wouldn’t be able to do the trip without some sort of chaperone to both keep him in line and keep him on schedule

Eh, I think he can do it. There is so much assistance available at airports you'd have to go out of your way to get lost, and Chris is not shy about going up to strangers, so I think he can wing it. I really hope I'm not over optimistic though, since that could be a shit show in the making otherwise...

 

[Synthwave Obsessed]

I think a lot of people who have been watching Chris-chan for years just don't want him to kill himself by horrible accident. It is safe to say that Chris has the most documented life on the internet and people might care for him at a distance. He's kinda the autistic kid that is always an asshole and smells awful, but you feel bad for him because that kid ain't right. Given his history, I'm very skeptical that he will take this as an opportunity to learn responsibility, but maybe Null is right. It could be likely Null is very optimistic and nothing would change. It seems like there is no good end for people who make it on this website. Very few people get better. Thus, it is hard to stay optimistic.

FWIW, I definitely won't care to crowdfund Chris to draw scribbles. I just agree that I think it is dangerous for Chris to try and make a 3 day trip in 2. With how bad Seattle traffic can be, I don't think he will do well driving around there, either. He will definitely fit in at a brony con, though. They're all equally on the 'tism spectrum. Myself and other family members have done the long trip on a rickety car, but we also followed important maintenance schedules. I don't trust Chris has followed his. He could get 1,000 miles into this trip or 5 and his engine could decide to seize from a lack of oil. Friends of mine have died on the side of the road, trying to change a tire. As in multiple. I want to laugh at Chris' antics, not watch him die.

ETA: words to fix broken English

 

[Black Yoshi]

So I know for a fact that Sockness lurks on KF, how do we stop him from going to Seattle? Are we going to have the same bodyguard situation that Chris was given after his TooManyGames incident?

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

So I know for a fact that Sockness lurks on KF, how do we stop him from going to Seattle? Are we going to have the same bodyguard situation that Chris was given after his TooManyGames incident?

It wasn't a real situation. Some people hung out with him the first day and shared a ride. People don't fuck with Chris at Bronycons.

 

[Puck]

If chris finishes Berserk for Miura I'd donate 1k