Chris the "nice guy"

[Grant McClellan]

Ugh, the "nice guy" or as I like to think of the "the unluckiest men out there"

 

[Marvin]

Ugh, the "nice guy" or as I like to think of the "the unluckiest men out there"

Nah, the nice guys are guys who think they deserve sex if they put enough niceness quarters in. Has nothing to do with luck.

 

[Male]

At least now I have finally confirmed that you, a shorter-than-me woman, can crash on my couch, and I would take the bed, without having feet hit me. I mean, I am uncertain my bed is wide enough for two.

what kind of self-centered douche-nozzle insists on having his girlfriend go through the time and effort of visiting him, only to end the day by booting her to the couch?

Att least if chris has an accident he won't get it all over Jackie as well.

 

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

When Chris says he's a "nice guy" it reminds me of Ghost saying the same thing.

I'm not a racist! I'm a nicceee guyy! GODDAMNIT!

I don't care if you don't like it! Eat it, boy, EAT ITTTTT!!!!

*cans.wav*

 

[Globe]

To be fair, the couch he refers to is in his room, next to the bed.

couch < bed; that's pretty much the logic I'm operating on, so where the couch happens to be isn't really something I was considering. Like I said, it's all hypothetical anyway, but honestly...If I have a girlfriend visiting and the bed isn't big enough for both of us, she gets it, plain and simple.

Then the sweetheart will come home from work, exhausted, and find the sink full of dirty dishes and the house filthy. Baby Crystal will be wailing in her crib, hungry and wearing a full, soggy diaper.

Didn't he also make some remark about wanting to hit up strip clubs and shit after his wife got off work? Could've sworn I heard that from somewhere. Either way, I like that he plans on telling his "sweetheart-to-be" about losing his virginity to a hooker. Even if your autism totally prevents you from empathizing, what the fuck could you possibly hope to gain from doing that? Why do it for any reason other than to screw with the person that you're with?

 

[Duke Nukem]

Chris is definitely the epitome of the archetypal self proclaimed "nice guy" types that in fact, are creepy repulsive douchebags who are desperate for female attention, yet have no idea how to get it properly.

And that's without bringing in all the manchildish stuff.

 

[Furina]

To be fair, the couch he refers to is in his room, next to the bed.

couch < bed; that's pretty much the logic I'm operating on, so where the couch happens to be isn't really something I was considering. Like I said, it's all hypothetical anyway, but honestly...If I have a girlfriend visiting and the bed isn't big enough for both of us, she gets it, plain and simple.

Then the sweetheart will come home from work, exhausted, and find the sink full of dirty dishes and the house filthy. Baby Crystal will be wailing in her crib, hungry and wearing a full, soggy diaper.

Didn't he also make some remark about wanting to hit up strip clubs and shit after his wife got off work? Could've sworn I heard that from somewhere. Either way, I like that he plans on telling his "sweetheart-to-be" about losing his virginity to a hooker. Even if your autism totally prevents you from empathizing, what the fuck could you possibly hope to gain from doing that? Why do it for any reason other than to screw with the person that you're with?

Chris wanted to know if his sweetheart would be ok with him going to a strip-club after he finished work (at his make-believe office job). I think he mentioned it in a phone call to Jackie. He said it would be a good way for him to relieve stress. When she asked if she could do the same. he was confused and didn't understand what she meant.

Yeah, Chris is a typical "nice guy" in the sense that he would throw himself at the feet of the first girl who would give him the time of day but only wants her for selfish reasons. He wants a mother-figure he can twist his broken duck into a few times a week and bear him his vile offspring. He doesn't care for her feelings or opinions, she's just an organic lovedoll with a built-in baby factory.

 

[MysticMisty]

Then the sweetheart will come home from work, exhausted, and find the sink full of dirty dishes and the house filthy. Baby Crystal will be wailing in her crib, hungry and wearing a full, soggy diaper.

Didn't he also make some remark about wanting to hit up strip clubs and shit after his wife got off work? Could've sworn I heard that from somewhere. Either way, I like that he plans on telling his "sweetheart-to-be" about losing his virginity to a hooker. Even if your autism totally prevents you from empathizing, what the fuck could you possibly hope to gain from doing that? Why do it for any reason other than to screw with the person that you're with?

Yeah he told Ivy something along the lines of "well you'll be busy cooking and cleaning so I'll unwind at the strip club without bothering you". Ivy hit him back with the same logic but naturally he didn't get it. Empathy my ass.

 

[The Dude]

both chris and crystal with giant mcdonald's sodas next to them

And both of them attracting flies because of the massive loads in their pants.

 

[Duke Nukem]

To be fair, the couch he refers to is in his room, next to the bed.

couch < bed; that's pretty much the logic I'm operating on, so where the couch happens to be isn't really something I was considering. Like I said, it's all hypothetical anyway, but honestly...If I have a girlfriend visiting and the bed isn't big enough for both of us, she gets it, plain and simple.

Then the sweetheart will come home from work, exhausted, and find the sink full of dirty dishes and the house filthy. Baby Crystal will be wailing in her crib, hungry and wearing a full, soggy diaper.

Didn't he also make some remark about wanting to hit up strip clubs and shit after his wife got off work? Could've sworn I heard that from somewhere. Either way, I like that he plans on telling his "sweetheart-to-be" about losing his virginity to a hooker. Even if your autism totally prevents you from empathizing, what the fuck could you possibly hope to gain from doing that? Why do it for any reason other than to screw with the person that you're with?

Chris wanted to know if his sweetheart would be ok with him going to a strip-club after he finished work (at his make-believe office job). I think he mentioned it in a phone call to Jackie. He said it would be a good way for him to relieve stress. When she asked if she could do the same. he was confused and didn't understand what she meant.

Yeah, Chris is a typical "nice guy" in the sense that he would throw himself at the feet of the first girl who would give him the time of day but only wants her for selfish reasons. He wants a mother-figure he can twist his broken duck into a few times a week and bear him his vile offspring. He doesn't care for her feelings or opinions, she's just an organic lovedoll with a built-in baby factory.

Just thinking about that made me and

I mean, I can't get a girl myself, even though I'm completely awesome in every way, but LOOK AT THIS GUY GOD DAMN

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

Then the sweetheart will come home from work, exhausted, and find the sink full of dirty dishes and the house filthy. Baby Crystal will be wailing in her crib, hungry and wearing a full, soggy diaper.

Didn't he also make some remark about wanting to hit up strip clubs and shit after his wife got off work? Could've sworn I heard that from somewhere. Either way, I like that he plans on telling his "sweetheart-to-be" about losing his virginity to a hooker. Even if your autism totally prevents you from empathizing, what the fuck could you possibly hope to gain from doing that? Why do it for any reason other than to screw with the person that you're with?

Yeah he told Ivy something along the lines of "well you'll be busy cooking and cleaning so I'll unwind at the strip club without bothering you". Ivy hit him back with the same logic but naturally he didn't get it. Empathy my ass.

Yeah, blatantly telling her about wanting to go to strip clubs was already douchey enough, but the fucker couldnt even wrap his mind about Ivy wanting to do the same...according to her, his response was "...What?"

He also couldnt understand Ivy having anything to say about naming their daughter...apparently, the concept of naming a son being a thing of two didnt ever cross his mind.

Let's not forget his recent "Kill Mimm's girlfriend" shit, as well as refering to her as a "possesion".

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Yeah he told Ivy something along the lines of "well you'll be busy cooking and cleaning so I'll unwind at the strip club without bothering you". Ivy hit him back with the same logic but naturally he didn't get it.

"Wait... what? Why would you need to unwind? I'm the only one who suffers from the hard work and toil."

He also couldnt understand Ivy having anything to say about naming their daughter...apparently, the concept of naming a son being a thing of two didnt ever cross his mind.

The idea that anyone else gets to vote on things that affect them never enters his mind. He assumes he has a right to tell others their business in all situations.

 

[Amsterdam]

lol imagine Chris at a strip club, "Hm yeah sh- shake that ass for me, What? wha-whu-what do you mean I cant touch you! I thou- I thought you liked me! You must be a got dang a-sessual!

 

[Globe]

He also couldnt understand Ivy having anything to say about naming their daughter...apparently, the concept of naming a son being a thing of two didnt ever cross his mind.

You mean he thinks the person he has a child with shouldn't have any say in it at all? Jesus, I've actually never heard of that before, that's exactly the kinda crap I'm talking about.

This got mentioned in another thread, but I think it's appropriate here as well; during the father call when Chris is trying to compliment Kacey, he acknowledges that she "might be smarter" than him on "some things", but he literally scoffs while saying it and you can tell from the tone of his voice and the specific wording that it's just to appease Matthew. Of course, his rampant ego is probably the main factor in this, but it seems like Chris automatically places himself intellectually above anybody that he has a romantic interest in. I mean, he thought Megan was upset by ShecameforCWC just because she didn't understand what was being depicted. It's weird, because he's dumber than horse-shit and yet I can still only imagine how obnoxiously patronizing he'd be to a girlfriend if he were ever able to actually get one.

 

[Christ-Chan]

"Wait... what? Why would you need to unwind? I'm the only one who suffers from the hard work and toil."

I think it's more along the lines of Chris having convinced himself the male body is disgusting and so he can't understand why Ivy would want to watch naked men dance.In his mind he has separated himself so far from the male gender that he doesn't see that if someone found him attractive it would implicate that the persons finds men in general to be attractive; he's like a different species.

Or maybe I'm talking out of my ass.

 

[Chinamon]

Chris being Chris, being as developmentally challenged as he is, probably doesn't even get the concept of 'nice guys'.

It's really just his ego thinking he's being fair to women because he presents his 'quality' traits to them and thinks that's what they look for in a man. And knowing Chris, he believes that the way men are depicted in late eighties cartoons are the shining epitome of manhood.

 

[BurtyDrappedCreifs]

Throughout the course of his love-quest, Chris has been (bluntly) confronted with the reality that he has no job, no money, no aspirations and (sic) absolutely no prospects, ergo he has nothing to offer a potential mate.

So naturally, Chris blames it all on Megan, Michael Snyder, and every living male on Earth.

lol imagine Chris at a strip club, "Hm yeah sh- shake that ass for me, What? wha-whu-what do you mean I cant touch you! I thou- I thought you liked me! You must be a got dang a-sessual!

Chris would be the type that stands at the edge of the stage with his lips puckered, and as the stripper leans over and kisses him (expecting her "tip"), Chris reaches over and tries to grab the dollars in her garterbelt, thinking it's free money. Then Chris gets hauled out by the bouncers and beaten to a pulp before being tossed into the dumpster.


Then Clyde Cash orders a round for everyone and we all laugh.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

It's really just his ego thinking he's being fair to women because he presents his 'quality' traits to them and thinks that's what they look for in a man.

And he's so resistant to change - since he's already told himself he's right, his knee-jerk reaction when a woman tells him "no, I'm not into that" is to take offense and try to tell her "yes you are".

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

He also couldnt understand Ivy having anything to say about naming their daughter...apparently, the concept of naming a son being a thing of two didnt ever cross his mind.

You mean he thinks the person he has a child with shouldn't have any say in it at all? Jesus, I've actually never heard of that before, that's exactly the kinda crap I'm talking about.

Its on the Ivy Q&A (in the "Love and marriage" part)

This got mentioned in another thread, but I think it's appropriate here as well; during the father call when Chris is trying to compliment Kacey, he acknowledges that she "might be smarter" than him on "some things", but he literally scoffs while saying it and you can tell from the tone of his voice and the specific wording that it's just to appease Matthew. Of course, his rampant ego is probably the main factor in this, but it seems like Chris automatically places himself intellectually above anybody that he has a romantic interest in. I mean, he thought Megan was upset by ShecameforCWC just because she didn't understand what was being depicted. It's weird, because he's dumber than horse-shit and yet I can still only imagine how obnoxiously patronizing he'd be to a girlfriend if he were ever able to actually get one.

Yeah, its amazing...more if you think of the Kacey calls, where she is constantly tutoring him on all kind of stuff in pretty much all of them and is painfully (even more) obvious how much of an ignorant he is compared to a normal person.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

Chris just thinks he's a nice guy because that's his default setting; he hasn't gone into his options menu and unchecked the "nice guy" option, so therefor all of his actions are nice and it's impossible for them to be anything else.

Take the shecameforcwc thing, he must have been thinking, "It can't possibly be anything I've done, so it must be a problem on her end"