Chris' thought process

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An Ounce of Vagina

An Ounce of Vagina

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 3, 2013
What has always interested me about Chris is his illogical thought process. My favorite: Trolls are making fun of me. I will tell them I shit my pants and that will make them stop. It just makes him seem so out of touch with the rest of humanity, almost like he's an alien crash-landed on Earth.

Anyone else have a favorite example of Chris' bizzare mind?
 
"If I charge $20 for an autographed photo or commission, all my money problems will be solved and I can buy as much Lego as I want"
 
Easily his belief that his crude marker drawings will prove his heterosexuality. Honorable mention goes to his 9/11 apology video.
 
461px-Issuezero.jpg
 
Can't get a sweetheart from the ground-up, so I'm going to become the sweetheart that I always desired.
 
RandyCox said:
Easily his belief that his crude marker drawings will prove his heterosexuality. Honorable mention goes to his 9/11 apology video.
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Which still managed to be fucked up and continued to show how much of an out-of-touch ass that he is.:alog: Though how much of his behavior is based on his mental state or the environment he grew up in?
 
After reading the Lulzy Chandler pics thread and seeing Chris's frightening new OKCupid selfies, I've changed my kind. How can a make take a picture of themselves in a bathroom, wearing a sports bra, post it on a dating site, and expect choice pussy to roll its way to the rental house. If I knew the answer, I probably wouldn't be here.
 
"If I draw crude pornography of my best friend, I will lose desire to rape her"
 
STATEMENT A:
"Straight men are bad because they take all the girls away."

NORMAL ASSUMPTION BASED ON STATEMENT A
"I like gay men because they don't take all the girls away, however I don't like lesbians because they do.

CHRIS LOGIC
"I like lesbians but hate gay men."
 
For me, Chris's vast ignorance of biology eclipses even his fabled inability to anticipate the thought processes of others. Per example, talking about his recent road trip to Ohio:

Chris the Autistic Wonder Boy said:
Bob: [inaudible] Fort [???] [inaudible] and I'd gone up to New York City every weekend. But, for about nine months, well I knew the place like the back of my hand.
Emily: Mm-hmm.
Chris: No wonder I was risky enough to take a- I was adventurous enough to take such a trip.
Bob: Uh-
Chris: I'd been hanging around in hi- inside him while he was taking that trip!
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Hanging around in his what, Chris? Where exactly did little zygote Chris'tard "hang out" while war-hero / plastic-inventor Daddy-Bob was picking up cheap hookers on 48th street?
 
:twisted: "Stomping on my dildo with signs taped to my shoes declaring my straightness will undeniably prove that I am straight."

:left: "Sitting with a sign to attract boyfriend-free girls to make into a sweetheart from the ground-up will probably not work. However, there's an infinitesimally small chance that it will work. Therefore, I should sit here with a sign to attract boyfriend-free girls."
 
"If I give long, drawn out speeches and make a scene in front of a crowd of people, I will earn their favor and prove that I'm in the right and the jerkops are in the wrong!"
 
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