Prison Letters Chris writes letter answering fan's questions (dated Oct 25 2021)

Status
Not open for further replies.
Aegeus said:
I prefer the "Barblax" appellation
Click to expand...
Barblax: the bar skank Pokémon.

In its larval state the Barblax can be found at any low-end local bar. There, she will bide her time refreshing herself with readily available alcohol and scanning nearby patrons for potential hosts. The ideal host is one wealthy enough to sustain her corpulent future of excess but also one desperate enough to look past all her red flags. Once a suitable host is found, the Barblax will begin by lulling its host into blissful safety punctuated with bouts of intense anger. This confuses and terrifies the host and educes an emotional paralysis, allowing the Barblax full control over her host.

After the host is paralyzed the absorption process begins and the Barblax utilizes resources pilfered from the host to feed its massive appetite and various other whims. It's during this time that she inflates to her infamous size. While the host organism is drained until little more than a corpse is left; she may spawn 1-3 offspring during this time. A Barblax may undergo this process multiple times over the course of her life cycle, returning to the larval state after her host is consumed.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: Guardsman42, JULAY, lurking for the deets and 7 others
Cuntflaps said:
So Barb has written Chris while he has been in jail, and there's at least a chance she's the one putting money in the commissary for him. I honestly don't know which possibility is more horrifying at this point: Chris raping his increasingly senile mother or Barb and Chris having consensual sex. Either way, this is the absolute worst timeline.
Click to expand...

That is a good question in which I don't want to know the answer to.
 
  • Like
Reactions: fuhrer down the spiral
Moppo. said:
Has Chris ever addressed the fact that Jesus was a man and this contradicts his claim of having a female soul?
Click to expand...

Why would Chris ever address this? It probably makes perfect sense in his mind, but wouldn't make any sense to the rest of us (much like the majority of things Chris believes). We all know he only branded himself a tranny so he could creep on lesbians - he'd probably explain it away as being a new coming of Christ, and this one is a tranny.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: Mary the Goldsmith, RurkerHivemind, pouque and 3 others
Yksi_Toveri said:
I think in his warped mindset, and the ramblings that he is many deities, Jesus was just another female soul trapped with a duck.
Click to expand...
Either that or the Jesus Godbody doesn't mean he is Jesus Christ, but just has his body and his memories. Sort of like Chris Chan's soul has the Godbody, and Jesus Christs memories are like stored data on the hard drive or something like that. I mean he came up with Random Access Memory or some other autistic bullshit to explain why he forgot things as he tried to type/speak so how he's made sense of it all is anyone's guess.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Infomation Highwayman, Male Idiot, Rapechu and 1 other person
Interchanger said:
Either that or the Jesus Godbody doesn't mean he is Jesus Christ, but just has his body and his memories. Sort of like Chris Chan's soul has the Godbody, and Jesus Christs memories are like stored data on the hard drive or something like that. I mean he came up with Random Access Memory or some other autistic bullshit to explain why he forgot things as he tried to type/speak so how he's made sense of it all is anyone's guess.
Click to expand...
Chris has the least godly body on the planet. It's the single best argument for atheism I've ever encountered.
 
  • Like
  • Feels
Reactions: Nobue, Maggots on a Train v2, thegooddoctor and 6 others
Rapechu said:
Chris has the least godly body on the planet. It's the single best argument for atheism I've ever encountered.
Click to expand...
Got to be honest I was stunned that he claimed he had Jesus body. I know he constantly things at some point he was skinny, but Jesus wasn't just skinny he was alpha levels ripped. With a great head of hair not some balding greasy mess.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Like
Reactions: Mary the Goldsmith, WoggleBugHimself and Infomation Highwayman
I'm surprised no one has realised what Barb has written to him yet. The most obvious ploy to try and make the relationship seem consensual so he gets off lighter is to write the most scorching erotic literature featuring her and Chris that will ever be seen. The guard who has to read it will vomit.
 
Interchanger said:
Got to be honest I was stunned that he claimed he had Jesus body. I know he constantly things at some point he was skinny, but Jesus wasn't just skinny he was alpha levels ripped. With a great head of hair not some balding greasy mess.
Click to expand...
Obviously he gets his body type from also representing Buddha.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Interchanger
Interchanger said:
Got to be honest I was stunned that he claimed he had Jesus body. I know he constantly things at some point he was skinny, but Jesus wasn't just skinny he was alpha levels ripped. With a great head of hair not some balding greasy mess.
Click to expand...
Well considering the diet back then and also the fact that carpentry work with hand tools of that. Would require a lot of strength Jesus was ripped.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
Reactions: Mary the Goldsmith
Interchanger said:
Got to be honest I was stunned that he claimed he had Jesus body. I know he constantly things at some point he was skinny, but Jesus wasn't just skinny he was alpha levels ripped. With a great head of hair not some balding greasy mess.
Click to expand...
Ripped Jesus is a later thing. The oldest depictions of him don't show a ripped physique. They also show him with short hair and no beard, the canonical dirty hippie desert wizard image we know today didn't come until the fourth century, and the muscles came way later.
 
  • Agree
  • Informative
Reactions: lurking for the deets, invictus, Mary the Goldsmith and 1 other person
He's now a generic I-Am-Jesus tard and this is the most boring shit ever. What a waste. I was hoping for the incest saga to be the great one, the pivotal moment where reality would finally collapse on this pear shaped head of his. Yet here we are, with a tasteless milkless insane hobo, rambling about random bible shit.

He's incredible, in a way. He really does absorb whatever media available to him then proceed to wrap his entire reality around it. Cartoons, movies, fan fics, artworks, the fucking holy bible, anything. No matter the circunstances. A blank sheet of paper constantly rewriting itself. At this point, when he'll finally be homeless, I fully expect him to just fucking craft an entire pantheon around road signs and/or street ads.
 
  • Agree
  • Feels
Reactions: Norman B. Normal, BigTubboWithLittleChina, thegooddoctor and 6 others
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back