Prison Letters Chris writes me from Prison (dated September 19th, 2021)

[SaintChristopher69]

His mental health evaluation is going to give him a stark look into the reality of how seriously fucked a situation Chris is in. Whatever's going on in his head, I don't want to know. He went from believing in the dimensional merge to being convinced that he is Jesus Chris.

 

[Drama Fan]

1 Early in the morning, all the jerkops and the janekops of the people made their plans how to have Christine executed. 2 So they bound her, led her away and handed her over to the governor.

3 When NULL, who had betrayed him, saw that Christine was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the kiwis. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.”

“What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.”

5 So NULL threw the money into the commie bloc and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.

6 The kiwis picked up the coins and said, “It is against the law to put this into the treasury, since it is blood money.” 7 So they decided to use the money to buy 14 Branchland Court as a burial place for raped mothers. 8 That is why it has been called the Field of Blood to this day. 9 Then what was spoken by Cash the prophet was fulfilled: “They took the thirty pieces of silver, the price set on him by the people of Farms, 10 and they used them to buy the home and Temple, as the Lord commanded me.

 

[Evil Enchilada]

So which phase is Chris in? before the trial or before the sentencing?

 

[RodgerDodger]

Ah! THIS is the version of Yahweh that Melinda worships. Good to know

He still makes more theological sense than Melinda. And he's a Crazy Retarded Mother Fucker

 

[Rei is shit]

LOL @ all those first few replies saying "he is comparing himself to Jesus"

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

So...who's Emanuel then?

Chris has been on record talking about his "guiding deities" before and that's a clear indicator of one of the faggots "roleplaying" with (manipulating) him for clout (Sean, Bella, etc) as Chris can't help but mention the people he talks to so that kinda sticks out to me.

Since it seems like you got no answer: Emanuelle is some weird concept Chris came up in 2014 (if not even earlier, I thought I'd seen references to Chris thinking God's name was Emanuelle way before 2014).

 

[Dom Cruise]

I want to say so much and I simply can't. Chris is just gone and this was uncomfortable to read.

Life's been hard for everyone since 2007.

 

[Tranimal Farm]

"We Gods had eased up on the views of "Adultry"; WHY Else do you all have Pro-Gay, Pro-Lesbian, Pro-Trans, and all Today and the past Decades?"

I'm willing to accept this as an admission on behalf of all trans people that it is, in fact, a fetish.

Good job Chris

 

[Evil Enchilada]

LOL @ all those first few replies saying "he is comparing himself to Jesus"

It's a step down from his Sonichu days where he was God.

 

[thismanlies]

Does anyone know if Chris's jail has a church? If so, I'd send an inmate a carton of smokes and a rectal-sized camera just to get video of him preaching.

 

[Annaoop]

So which phase is Chris in? before the trial or before the sentencing?

Purgatory. Here's hoping for another continuance so we can see how fucking gone he gets.

I was disappointed with the first continuance since it was my bday and I was hoping for some content, but the wait was so fucking worth it. Here's hoping for another delay and even juicier content.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Since Chris is Jesus and thus his mother is a pure virgin, it is impossible for Chris to have had sex with Barbie Chan. You must acquit.

 

[Spiteful Crow]

The letter sounds much better when narrated by Cortana.

 

[RodgerDodger]

I wonder if David Heliberg realizes that he has become essentially a part of a emerging world religion.

In a "Jew's for Jesus" sort of way?

 

[Bubble Ba'ath]

I wonder how many people in prison claim to be Jesus? I would bet it's well over half of them. That isn't going to clinch an insanity plea. Not even close. He clearly knows exactly what he did and he's making excuses for it saying "Barb liked it. It was for her own good." He is going to be convicted and get prison time. No question about it any more. He'll be wearing that striped suit for quite a while.

His past statements on social media talking about how he understands concepts such as consent and incest being wrong make this a poor strategy if indeed thats what hes doing. I bet there is a part of him that is subconsciously thinking about insanity defense, but at this point most of this probably is just genuine insanity. After all, being a totally crazy neckbeard manchild has helped him get out of....pickles....before so why not keep on doing it?

 

[Kier Starmer]

Plot twist - what if Chris' lawyer told him to write this in an act to look insane so it can maybe be brought to evidence for an insanity plea.

either well rest in piss Chris you raped your Mom multiple times.

 

[Some Badger]

Holy shit dude, a month and a half of jail broke him.

how has Chris lived his life so fundamentally broken, and then break further?

 

[Liber Pater]

Isn't it supposed to be your right hand over the heart to signify that youre being truthful?

No, you see Chris has mastered the left-hand path in order to bring about the merge. God-bear hath foresaken us all. Hail Lucifer-chu.

 

[Near]

Ralph won! He got the dirt on Joshua Judas Moon he wanted!

 

[Rikka Takarada 2]

the other cameras, infinite, from the First Person Perspective of all others. AND this goes even deeper, and I encourage YOU to meditate deeply and see for yourself this and all of the Truths. AND the reason and Truth behind my unique perception is direct and mind-blowingly simple: I am Literally the Real Player One; the One Avatar; and this Body, Eyes, Mind and all is the One God Body, and I am Literally also Jesus Christ, Himself, fully reincarnated and fully reawakened.

When teaching English, I sometimes had to tell my students that just because you string words in front of each other doesn't mean you've made a sentence. Somehow, the best example of this has now come from a >35 year old, native English speaker...