Interests ChrisChan Interview Part 4+5(3/28/16)

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asperhes said:
There are many examples of more fruitful discussions with Chris, like the Alec Benson Leary calls and the Father Call. Chris has said many times that he's "slow-minded" and needs time to arrange his thoughts. Patience is rewarded. Cutting Chris off in mid-sentence when he's trying to explain himself is the same issue that made the Kacey calls suck.
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In all of those situations it was supposed to be a natural conversation, he may not be the most socially aware but even Chris knows that interviews are artificial setups where you're just supposed to answer questions. Cat Knight did a really good job coaxing Chris out of his shell given how readily he gave up information unprompted. Watch the Guru Larry interview as an example of how difficult it is to keep a conversation like that going with Chris let alone have him open up as much as he did.

 
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Granted, the interview was almost like Chris reading back the C.W.C.Ki, but the fact is I come here for the LULZ and Spatchcock was funny. Particularly in part 3. I've never made it though 5 minutes of a Kasey call because it's like overhearing a horrible couple argue at an Applebee's.
 
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I wish the aspect of doing the cyber-nasty with a (male) minor was touched on the Bluespike bit (Nobody wants to do bussiness with a pedofork, so I think it would be a legitimate concern), but I understand that it may have been pushing it too far.

I like when he says that he would take "into great consideration" doing the voiceover video...whenever he says that means that his lazy ass has no fucking intention of doing it :lol:

(Despite having done pretty much that on the past on several ocassions just for the hell of it)

Nice job!
 
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John Furrman said:
I feel kiwi pride whenever @MasterDisaster refers to "his associates".

Also: unwarranted advice, but from 22:10-22:22, you let the accent drop. You started speaking quicker while you were hyping up your ideas for chris, which increasingly sounded out of character as you stopped articulating every word in the accent for that short period.
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I was hoping he'd notice at least once. I guess the same thing goes for voices as it does faces.
 
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A: What-- what kind of things do you get? I mean, exactly, I mean, I hope you're not getting like, shoeboxes full of cat poop, or, you know...

C: Uhh... no, no. Umm, no, that does not happen very often. Uhh... only one time, only one time though, somebody had sent me a Tupperware full of horse manure. And we put that-- and we put that--

A: I'm sorry, no, no -- you gotta be kidding? That-- no. That's just wrong.

C: Yeah. But anyway, I put that-- we, we put that in the trash immediately after we figured it out-- after we figured it out.
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So this is new, I didn't know about the horseshit.
But this further cements my theory that Chris has completely turned his life into that of Baps from Pink Flamingos:
 
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I want to thank everyone involved with this, especially the interviewer and the transcriber. It's not easy having to listen to Chris for extended periods of time, and even more irritating to have to go back and listen to every little stop and stutter to type out whatever comes out of his flabby wordhole to accurately convey what he's saying. You've all done your duty. Now you can go home and schleep well.
 
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JULAY said:
HOLY SHIT! He finally mentioned the blank gift cards that I sent him two years ago! I thought that maybe he didn't open the package at all and just threw it away or something.
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People claim to have sent Chris various gag gifts, but these often don't get an immediate reaction, so it's hard to know if Chris actually got it.

But here we do have some confirmation that Chris did open the packages and look at the stuff before throwing it in the trash.
 
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Silver Octopus said:
So this is new, I didn't know about the horseshit.
But this further cements my theory that Chris has completely turned his life into that of Baps from Pink Flamingos:
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Chris does not have enough spine, charisma, or oratory fluidity to even compare to one of Water's classic characters. Barb would be great as Bab's mother though...the over exagerration about jealousy sounds like Chris though...they're all jealous
 
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Whiskey Foxtrot said:
Is it all right for Chris to be posting the interviews on his Facebook and Twitter and whatever? Are any of his followers going to listen to them, work out it's a dang dirty troll, and try to deter him from doing the next interview or anything?



This confused me, too, unless there's something I'm also missing. I got the impression that because he'd been being quizzed on "controversial" stuff from the Cwcki, he assumed that the Impulse line of questioning was going to go in the same direction, and that Cat Knight would ask him to explain some stupid thing he did there; so he pre-emptively tried to answer a question that wasn't even going to be asked in the first place. I don't know, though, I could be wrong.
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I did not understand it either, Chris could be making that part up thinking he was ostracized by the bar because he was flat chested and they were jealous of the womanhood he was exuding, but in all likeliness they may have blatantly tried to rid themselves of him on several attempts, and he finally got the picture after they laughed at and possibly ignored him. I hope they have an email address, so that someone can possibly email them and encourage them to join the forums.
 
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kobebyarlant said:
I'm so glad you asked about Wendy's. It's one of the few times in his life he had to engage with the real world (plus his only actual job) and the real world actually punished him for his nonsense. Sadly, trying to find solid information about it is damn hard.
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The problem is that Chris never fully comprehends his surroundings. With an event in his past, he has either incorrectly determined what happened (shifting any possible blame off of himself) or has been told by his parents that he was the victim. Chris gets a dialogue box in his head, and this becomes the facts. There is no deviation from the script. There is no depth to his understanding. His brain retrieves the file WendysExcuse.txt, and he repeats the words. "Yeah. Da child was tired. Hmm. Donald Duck. Yeah." Ask him about it in ten years and you'll get the same explanation, verbatim. No analysis, nothing. "Yeah. Da child was tired. Hmm. Donald Duck. Yeah." If you're very lucky, he might randomly recall what cartoon he'd seen that morning and tell you about it.
 
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Tubular Monkey said:
The problem is that Chris never fully comprehends his surroundings. With an event in his past, he has either incorrectly determined what happened (shifting any possible blame off of himself) or has been told by his parents that he was the victim. Chris gets a dialogue box in his head, and this becomes the facts. There is no deviation from the script. There is no depth to his understanding. His brain retrieves the file WendysExcuse.txt, and he repeats the words. "Yeah. Da child was tired. Hmm. Donald Duck. Yeah." Ask him about it in ten years and you'll get the same explanation, verbatim. No analysis, nothing. "Yeah. Da child was tired. Hmm. Donald Duck. Yeah." If you're very lucky, he might randomly recall what cartoon he'd seen that morning and tell you about it.
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Pity really.
 
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Tubular Monkey said:
The problem is that Chris never fully comprehends his surroundings. With an event in his past, he has either incorrectly determined what happened (shifting any possible blame off of himself) or has been told by his parents that he was the victim. Chris gets a dialogue box in his head, and this becomes the facts. There is no deviation from the script. There is no depth to his understanding. His brain retrieves the file WendysExcuse.txt, and he repeats the words. "Yeah. Da child was tired. Hmm. Donald Duck. Yeah." Ask him about it in ten years and you'll get the same explanation, verbatim. No analysis, nothing. "Yeah. Da child was tired. Hmm. Donald Duck. Yeah." If you're very lucky, he might randomly recall what cartoon he'd seen that morning and tell you about it.
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Yeah. Which is why it's so hard to find out information about his time at Wendy's or any incident he doesn't like to talk about really. Like a patient with Alzheimer's having brief moments of clarity, Chris will sometimes lapse on his ingrained scripts and reveal nuggets of the truth. But trying to prod deeper will just have him go right back to spitting out WendysExcuse.txt though.

"Yeah. Da child was tired. Hmm. Donald duck. Yeah. Drew da lady as a Pok'emon."
"You drew what Chris?"
"I told ya, da child was tired. Hmm."
 
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