Chris's Current Match.com Profile

[Zim]

...I think he should try out Christian Mingle if Match doesn't produce a sweetheart.

Christian Mingle.... hehe. I see what you did there!

 

[Sexual Stallone]

"Fitness is important to both of you."

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

You know, I met my wife on an online dating site.

You, sir, are NOT married; you are making as much fabrication up as Chris would. Your post is a fraud; you will never change my mind; You Are Pathetic. Ha. Ha. Ha.

We're going to be getting a lot of mileage out of this quote, aren't we?

 

[CatParty]

You know, I met my wife on an online dating site.

You, sir, are NOT married; you are making as much fabrication up as Chris would. Your post is a fraud; you will never change my mind; You Are Pathetic. Ha. Ha. Ha.

We're going to be getting a lot of mileage out of this quote, aren't we?

mm, yeah

 

[drmccoy]

You know, I met my wife on an online dating site.

You, sir, are NOT married; you are making as much fabrication up as Chris would. Your post is a fraud; you will never change my mind; You Are Pathetic. Ha. Ha. Ha.

We're going to be getting a lot of mileage out of this quote, aren't we?

IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS

 

[José Mourinho]

FUCKING PITTSBURGH PIRATES!!!

 

[CatParty]

FUCKING PITTSBURG PIRATES!!!

Fixed

 

[José Mourinho]

 

[The Nameless One]

Wow. If you had a checklist of red flags on online dating profiles, Chris's profile would cover every single one. Everything from describing yourself in negative, clinical terms like "depressed" and "paranoid," to being demanding ("All Women interested in me MUST be willing to..."). He started shooting himself in the foot as soon as he started typing, until all that was left was a bloody stump.

Honestly, his profile would be much, much more appealing if all it said was:

"I am a "X"-Year Old Male, Seeking an 18-"X"-Year Old Single Woman"

 

[Anchuent Christory]

You know, I met my wife on an online dating site.

You, sir, are NOT married; you are making as much fabrication up as Chris would. Your post is a fraud; you will never change my mind; You Are Pathetic. Ha. Ha. Ha.

We're going to be getting a lot of mileage out of this quote, aren't we?

Y'know, I kind of feel The Dude deserves a custom forum title for this.

 

[Roger Rabbit]

I cracked up laughing at some of that profile. Fitness? Yeah right. He also chose all the choices for the money he makes, making me think people pay too much in their taxes so that the tugboat will keep going.

 

[Reshiram]

His minimum height is 4"10.

Now I know Chris isn't an equal opportunity dater, so wtf am I reading

 

[The Nameless One]

4'10" is probably the minimum height selection, and he just selected the minimum and maximum heights for his range.

 

[CWCissey]

His minimum height is 4"10.

Now I know Chris isn't an equal opportunity dater, so wtf am I reading

4"10 still counts as petite. I have a 25 year old friend who's 4"11

 

[The Dude]

You, sir, are NOT married; you are making as much fabrication up as Chris would. Your post is a fraud; you will never change my mind; You Are Pathetic. Ha. Ha. Ha.

We're going to be getting a lot of mileage out of this quote, aren't we?

Y'know, I kind of feel The Dude deserves a custom forum title for this.

The Dude abides.

 

[Christ-Chan]

4"10 still counts as petite. I have a 25 year old friend who's 4"11

According to a Google search 4'10" is apparently the tallest you can be to be classified as a dwarf, which I found interesting.

 

[The Dude]

4"10 still counts as petite. I have a 25 year old friend who's 4"11

According to a Google search 4'10" is apparently the tallest you can be to be classified as a dwarf, which I found interesting.

in real life I'm a giant midget.

 

[Holdek]

I actually don't know Match.com very well, but after I made a profile, I started looking at more profiles of guys in my target range... Chris' profile is actually one of the better ones. It's depressing. A teensy part of me genuinely wanted to cry after seeing just how much "ick" there is out there. I scored Chris a 1 in that "how good looking am I©™®" thread, but I'm now reconsidering giving him a 3. The only thing that (I HOPE) is unique to Chris, is the pants pooping. Even that I sort of doubt, after seeing enough profiles.

What's your target range?

 

[Anchuent Christory]

Pretty much any, Scottish, Irish, or Welsh person actually wouldn't take much offense at all at being called English because in virtually any situation where this would happen it would be an honest mistake; think of a Canadian coming over to the UK and people assuming he's American just going by his accent, same sort of thing.
(sperg over)

Sorry, this isn't exactly true, most would mind!

ref. - being Irish

Fair enough, but I'm Scottish and I've seen a fair amount of "false rage" at folks being called English, like it's more because they're supposed to and it's almost always in a joking sort of way.

But of course in Ireland, the whole British/Irish national identity thing can set of fireworks for a whole different reason.