Chris's New Facebook Statuses

[Tubular Monkey]

Wow, Google.

 

[Bugaboo]

But when your avergage person talks to Chris they speak to him like he's a child and he doesn't seem to mind at all (Like the long island iced tea video)
I think becuase he considers his highschool years the best of his life he's perpetually trapped himself within them, he still draws/drew himself as a skinner young guy with a full head of hair so that's how he sees himself physically too.

 

[Cwckifan]

That one video where he was poorly impersonating various comedians, he had Jerry Seinfeld say (about himself) "hey, take a look at this teenager here" or something. At the time he made the video, he was like 29, but he apparently has it ingrained in his head that he is essentially still a teenager. I think he wants to be a teenager forever because they are the ideal age group to him - they get to be treated with respect instead of being talked down to like young children, but teenagers don't have to have full-time jobs or manage their own finances or anything. Also, teens can be a lot more carefree about what kinds of junk they eat, since their metabolisms are a lot more forgiving than those of grown adults. Also, of course, teens can have sex. Basically, it's the sweet spot of maximum entitlement and minimum responsibility in Chris's eyes.

Teenagers don't have to work full time, manage their finances, or eat right and excercise to keep on shape? Where was this magical land when I was a teenager, and how to I travel back in time to get to it?

 

[Bugaboo]

That one video where he was poorly impersonating various comedians, he had Jerry Seinfeld say (about himself) "hey, take a look at this teenager here" or something. At the time he made the video, he was like 29, but he apparently has it ingrained in his head that he is essentially still a teenager. I think he wants to be a teenager forever because they are the ideal age group to him - they get to be treated with respect instead of being talked down to like young children, but teenagers don't have to have full-time jobs or manage their own finances or anything. Also, teens can be a lot more carefree about what kinds of junk they eat, since their metabolisms are a lot more forgiving than those of grown adults. Also, of course, teens can have sex. Basically, it's the sweet spot of maximum entitlement and minimum responsibility in Chris's eyes.

Teenagers don't have to work full time, manage their finances, or eat right and excercise to keep on shape? Where was this magical land when I was a teenager, and how to I travel back in time to get to it?

I suppose very privileged or spoiled teenagers don't need to work full time or manage their finances in any way.
And Chris was a spoiled teenager.

 

[InaudibleSlink]

he craves being taken care of and babied and not having any responsibilities. Having his cake and farting on it, essentially.

There I think thats more accurate.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Teenagers don't have to work full time, manage their finances, or eat right and excercise to keep on shape? Where was this magical land when I was a teenager, and how to I travel back in time to get to it?

That magical land would be TV, where everyone is beautiful and carefree. Whenever a person's real-life experiences butts heads with what Chris has seen on TV, he assumes TV is more representative of reality.

 

[Cwckifan]

Teenagers don't have to work full time, manage their finances, or eat right and excercise to keep on shape? Where was this magical land when I was a teenager, and how to I travel back in time to get to it?

That magical land would be TV, where everyone is beautiful and carefree. Whenever a person's real-life experiences butts heads with what Chris has seen on TV, he assumes TV is more representative of reality.

Of course. After all, unless you're suggesting that TV and movies lied to Chris, or worse, suggest that he may have misunderstood its message (gasp!), then why wouldn't it be true?

 

[sethrutgers22]

Teenagers don't have to work full time, manage their finances, or eat right and excercise to keep on shape? Where was this magical land when I was a teenager, and how to I travel back in time to get to it?

Back then, I was bone thin and could down two double quarter pounders, fries, and a soda for one meal and not feel stuffed, just full. It was great.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Back then, I could not worry about the future, because even a decade into the future I would still only be in my twenties.

Chris's twenties have completely slipped away. Now his thirties are slipping away. One thing Chris's fantasy desires can never restore to him is time.

 

[Cwckifan]

Teenagers don't have to work full time, manage their finances, or eat right and excercise to keep on shape? Where was this magical land when I was a teenager, and how to I travel back in time to get to it?

Back then, I was bone thin and could down two double quarter pounders, fries, and a soda for one meal and not feel stuffed, just full. It was great.

Ah yes, the energy of youth. That wonderful time when food didn't need to be low-carb or diet to be enjoyable

Back then, I could not worry about the future, because even a decade into the future I would still only be in my twenties.

Chris's twenties have completely slipped away. Now his thirties are slipping away. One thing Chris's fantasy desires can never restore to him is time.

Remember Alec, time is meaningful only when one has things to accomplish. As such, when you've all but quietly resigned yourself to failure and meaningless activities, what makes any one day more meaningful than the last? Moreover, seeing as how Chris doesn't yet think of himself as a real man, the inevitable march of time is hardly a concern

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

Good point.

How does CWC perceive time? It's like when you're on vacation from school as a kid and the days just seem to drag on, but later in life time just seems to fly. I wonder if the days just seem to drag on and on for him.

 

[CatParty]

Good point.

How does CWC perceive time? It's like when you're on vacation from school as a kid and the days just seem to drag on, but later in life time just seems to fly. I wonder if the days just seem to drag on and on for him.

He probably isn't even aware what day it is most of the time.

 

[Cwckifan]

Good point.

How does CWC perceive time? It's like when you're on vacation from school as a kid and the days just seem to drag on, but later in life time just seems to fly. I wonder if the days just seem to drag on and on for him.

Probably. I mean, aside from his hopelessly naive pipe dreams about true love and endless sex from a teatotalling aryan supermodel who wants nothing more than to clean his messes, raise his hellspawn, and let herself be degraded by him night after night, what else does he have to look forward to? He's not gaining any skills or knowledge that could allow him to find productive work, friends, or even interesting hobbies, so what else is there to do? Hell, his life is probably just like that anime-comic thing someone posted earlier about whittling ones life away, until It's too late to do anything meaningful. He's far too wrapped up in the worlds most tragic melodrama that is his life to care, however, so the march of time probably means nothing...

 

[trip2themoon]

Good point.

How does CWC perceive time? It's like when you're on vacation from school as a kid and the days just seem to drag on, but later in life time just seems to fly. I wonder if the days just seem to drag on and on for him.

Probably. I mean, aside from his hopelessly naive pipe dreams about true love and endless sex from a teatotalling aryan supermodel who wants nothing more than to clean his messes, raise his hellspawn, and let herself be degraded by him night after night, what else does he have to look forward to? He's not gaining any skills or knowledge that could allow him to find productive work, friends, or even interesting hobbies, so what else is there to do? Hell, his life is probably just like that anime-comic thing someone posted earlier about whittling ones life away, until It's too late to do anything meaningful. He's far too wrapped up in the worlds most tragic melodrama that is his life to care, however, so the march of time probably means nothing...

Chris doesn't like tall girls so even a teetotal super model wouldn't be good enough. I bet Lily Cole is gutted...

 

[Cwckifan]

Good point.

How does CWC perceive time? It's like when you're on vacation from school as a kid and the days just seem to drag on, but later in life time just seems to fly. I wonder if the days just seem to drag on and on for him.

Probably. I mean, aside from his hopelessly naive pipe dreams about true love and endless sex from a teatotalling aryan supermodel who wants nothing more than to clean his messes, raise his hellspawn, and let herself be degraded by him night after night, what else does he have to look forward to? He's not gaining any skills or knowledge that could allow him to find productive work, friends, or even interesting hobbies, so what else is there to do? Hell, his life is probably just like that anime-comic thing someone posted earlier about whittling ones life away, until It's too late to do anything meaningful. He's far too wrapped up in the worlds most tragic melodrama that is his life to care, however, so the march of time probably means nothing...

Chris doesn't like tall girls so even a teetotal super model wouldn't be good enough. I bet Lily Cole is gutted...

Oh please, Chris would hump a mannequin if he thought it was coming onto him (and wasn't black). Also, damn you, spellcheck!

 

[RV 229]

Good point.

How does CWC perceive time? It's like when you're on vacation from school as a kid and the days just seem to drag on, but later in life time just seems to fly. I wonder if the days just seem to drag on and on for him.

He probably isn't even aware what day it is most of the time.

Right now he's probably checking the date every now and again to be sure he doesn't miss his own birthday though.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Remember Alec, time is meaningful only when one has things to accomplish. As such, when you've all but quietly resigned yourself to failure and meaningless activities, what makes any one day more meaningful than the last? Moreover, seeing as how Chris doesn't yet think of himself as a real man, the inevitable march of time is hardly a concern

Chris does have two mandatory accomplishments on his ledger: marrying a heartsweet, and siring Crystal. Those are main story missions, not just side quests. He knows that the more years go by, the more difficult it's going to be to accomplish.

I kind of want to ask Chris what he'll do if he hits his 60th birthday and he never got his sweetheart. Just to see the reaction.

 

[Henry Bemis]

I kind of want to ask Chris what he'll do if he hits his 60th birthday and he never got his sweetheart. Just to see the reaction.

He probably wouldn't count it out just yet. Bob had him at 54.

 

[Cwckifan]

Chris does have two mandatory accomplishments on his ledger: marrying a heartsweet, and siring Crystal. Those are main story missions, not just side quests. He knows that the more years go by, the more difficult it's going to be to accomplish.

Those may be the eventual goals, but he's clearly not committed to them. Honestly, if this really is what he wants the most, you'd think he'd ask for help, try to learn some valuable skills, or at least shower more than once a month. Honestly, regardless of what he'd like to do, so long as he continues--of his own volition, no less--to stagnate like this, then his main mission is to never inconvenience himself, hopes, and goals, and dreams be damned.


I kind of want to ask Chris what he'll do if he hits his 60th birthday and he never got his sweetheart. Just to see the reaction.[/quote]
Gosh, what a terrible idea to have! Don't do it, Alec; don't let hope back into our hearts and insinuate that he'll make it to 60!

 

[Tubular Monkey]

By 60, he'll have been gone for at least 15 years.