Christian's good points (serious).

[BT 075]

His main redeeming quality of course is him being funny as fuck. He's funniest when he's super smug about something and feels he's winning. There's also a lot of shitty things he's unlikely to ever do, such as:

-Being in an abusive relationship with anyone other then Barb
-Being a deadbeat father, because lol
-Committing a violent crime, because he's a pussy
-Causing any serious intentional damage on anyone but himself
-Breaking someone's heart
-Disappointing people (expectations are too low at this point)
-Committing acts of terrorism and being on the cover of a magazine
-Intentional arson not involving coffee machine

 

[drtoboggan]

I'm getting a premonition. This thread is gonna get locked.

Oh, and the only good thing about Chris is his ability to snatch failure from the jaws of success.

 

[He Sets Me On Fire]

Another good thing about Chris is:

If you put his hand between two pieces of bread with the appropriate condiments and called it a sandwich, would he eat it?

Yes. In five minutes.